To think the best times are over?

I ended up having two career changes quite a few years after 40. There's plenty of time to explore something you might enjoy more @Numblittlebug87 .

The economist has an article on the U-bend of life - apparently people get sadder round about your age OP but things pick up again at 46 -

I'm 65, no family, few good friends, and worked in boring jobs for almost 50 years. However, I am now retired and loving life. It's all in your attitude, and only you can change that.

Depression? Peri? Look for a job you actually like and want to do?

Looking at the flip side, all the things have been the same when you were 35-39 and you didn't feel as bad now as you did then, and really you should be feeling like you're in a happier position at the thought of your kids going soon.

@HeddaGarbled you beat me to it! Love Hannah Fry and I loved this episode about the happiness curve.

I’m 53 and excited about the next stage of life. Just got back from a short holiday just with dh and it was wonderful.

40 is still young. You've got at least twenty years to go before serious ageing kicks in. You sound depressed, OP, and also tired. If I were you I would look at improving my health and fitness, which will make you feel better and give you more energy.

You are having a mid life crisis. Most people have one. You will come out the other side.

You sound very depressed - have you seen your GP to talk about how you’re feeling?

Sounds like you are depressed OP.

You're only 40 for a start, you've got another 28 years of working before state pension age, so you are not even half way through your working life yet. If you want to retrain in a different career, then there is plenty of time to do that. Or just change jobs.

Your kids are nearly grown up - great you will have time to focus on yourself and develop a new career, or hobbies, or friendships, or travel, if that's what you want to do.

My grandmother in law is her 90s, recently widowed and in poor physical health. She still manages to find joy in little things and is pretty upbeat considering. As she says, you've just got to make the best of it and get on with it.

Definitely see your GP to rule out depression, and maybe start something like couch to 5k. You sound like you need some endorphins.

It's a bit ridiculous even for MN. Folk over the hill in their early 30's.Get a grip.

I'm 44 I had a heart attack nearly 6 weeks ago before that I felt similar but now I feel like I have a second chance, I have applied and got an interview for a job that I have some experience in but will challenge me and expand my knowledge a bit , it's not pop star wages but I've spent the last 5 weeks in a bit of a depressed shocked daze. But..... I have a second chance I met a friend last week I haven't seen in 20 years. Me and my husband made plans the week before that to go for a meal with a couple we know, we are seeing them again this Friday. My point is you have to sometimes just take the time even an hour to have some time away from the mundane day to day, what do you enjoy? What do you want to do ? What's stopping you ?

I feel this way each minute of every day. I've got a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia that was caused by some prescribed off label antipsychotic after a head injury, so I've felt the best of my life was before my eldest daughter was born 14 years ago.

Now I just feel like I'm really treading water until the end. Sorry if that sounds deeply depressing or depressed, I've got many wonderful things to be grateful for and I love my parents and DH and DC more than life. I've just been dealt a shitty hand in life and it gets me down 💔😢

I felt I was washed up and hopeless at 30, newly divorced and with 2 little kids as a single parent. I retrained and now (nearly 49) I'm a partner in a law firm. Life hasn't given me me what I hoped for in terms of a personal relationship (I've had others) but I have a good job, lovely kids, and another 15+ years of working life ahead. Parents are ageing and increasingly infirm, which is a worry, but my goodness I wouldn't be giving up on life just yet. I do find I get tired more and can't be out socialising several nights a week, but as PP have said, peri-menopause is a big contributor to that and once I realised (in my case at 43) that's what it was, getting on HRT helped a lot.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/dgbmvN2QmQNMKPKjhcBw0x/when-are-you-the-happiest-in-life#:~:text=Happiness%20follows%20a%20U%2Dshaped%20curve&text=That%20means%2C%20statistically%2C%20middle%2D,in%20all%20of%20social%20science.

Happiness follows a U-shaped curve
While we are happiest in our 20s as the seniors predicted, our happiness then descends down to a nadir in our late 40s before reversing direction and climbing back up into our 70s. That means, statistically, middle-age is the unhappiest time in people’s lives. Remarkably this exact same U-shaped curve holds true across sex, race, culture, climate and over 100 countries, making it one of the most solid findings in all of social science. It even ignores presumed predictors of happiness such as menopause or whether the person lives in a developed or developing country

You are only 40, try not to feel old before your time, I understand how you feel, seeing parents age is hard, have a read of these though excuse the fact it’s from LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/life-after-40-get-inspired-52-late-bloomers-ramesh-dontha
not a film star or author unfortunately but started whole new career mid 40s after being at home with kids for years, was daunting but worked, start changing little things, say yes more. You have half a life or more ahead of you, and there will be good times

No this is not life!

What sort of things did you used to find fun? Why are they not fun anymore, or have you just moved on? There must be something you would like to do, get involved in, learn about.

I must admit 40-50 was my worat decade. My DF died. Perimenopause and just feeling old. Hit 50 and I feel much more optimistic and enjoy life a lot more - hang in there. Accept how you feel but also accept this will pass and things do get better.

Look at the U happiness curve.

If you have 30 years left to work it's def not too late to have a career.

Nope this isn't life for everyone. I still enjoy lots of things and have plenty of energy at 53. So does my 80 yr old mum!

I would start with a trip to the GP to rule out depression, peri or not. And then look at exercise, diet and so on.

That sounds like depression @Numblittlebug87.

OP it's really common to start feeling like this when peri menopause starts. If not already, you should think about whether you need to start on HRT.

I went through similar feelings when peri hit. HRT is definitely helping but I need a higher dose. It's trial and error to begin with.

Every day above ground is a bonus.
Life is definitely not over at 40.

I’m 48 and my life is full of stress (ageing parents, depressed out of work Dh, autistic dc, threat of redundancy to my job, perimenopause etc) but there is still much to love and look forward to.

I think you need to try to change your mindset. If your kids are nearly grown, that means more time and freedom for you, which is surely a positive flip side?

You’ve got a long way to retirement, if you want to change careers there’s plenty of time!
I’m 45, I’m really looking forward to the next decade, my kids are teenagers and mostly good company and increasingly independent, I’m looking forward to travelling just me and dh, to going out without having to worry about who’s there for the kids. A bit more freedom again!

I do hate that my mum is getting older, but I think the only thing to do is make sure I spend quality time with her while I can. DF died quite young and it was a huge comfort that we were quite close and I saw lots of him.