To think the best times are over?

You sound depressed and come across as if you've not had much joy out of anything including your children- have you put much effort into Life? Or been unhappy always and just thought how you felt was how life was?

This is true, but one of the main reasons is that at this age people are often "stuck"

Caring for parents and kids younger than yours
Lots of bills to pay as you have to have a bigger house to accommodate those children
Not much time for individual passions.

Youth and late life are the opposite of that

You are at a turning point where more freedom will be possible. You need to work out what you want to do with it.

What bits of your life would you retain if you had to totally start over tomrorow? And what would you change? Start to change it now

You sound depressed and like you need treatment.

Like you say, you've nearly 30 years of work left, so you definitely have time for a career change. I'm (hopefully) having another baby at 40 so it feels like life beginning for me. I do feel very sad looking at my aging parents though, I hate that the most.

My 40s were …..ok……
once I hit 50 I felt my life changed. My attitude to life changed. I got a new realization of what is important and what isn’t worth my time. It really is a case of don’t sweat the small stuff but i don’t think i knew what the small stuff was. Now i do and i feel much freer - and no it doesn’t mean speaking my mind even if it causes offence. It just means i don’t give my time or attention to inconsequential shit or drama.
In short, there’s still a lot of life to look forward to and enjoy so I really hope you find a way to enjoy a fulfilling life.

It doesn't have to be.
I have loads of fun and I'm 50. I go out dancing, go to festivals, go to the theatre and comedy shows (do volunteering to get free tickets) go walking in the hills and have Sunday roasts with friends. Host games nights and do the pub quiz. Play a couple of team sports twice a week. Work in 2 jobs slowly increasing the one I prefer. Take the teens to watch cheap local sport and make them play board games (that they love when playing).
I basically say yes to most things and now lead a full life.

It was kind of the opposite for me. I spent my 30s dreading turning 40 because it seemed old, middle-aged, my youth would be gone etc. But it was actually a relief when I finally did turn 40 because I realised that there is just as much life ahead of me as there is behind me. For so long I avoided changing career because I felt like I was too old, but in reality I still have nearly 30 more years of working life ahead of me. 30 years! That is a hell of a long time. 30 years ago I was 10. You can do a lot with 30 years.

Life is what you choose it to be.
You have fewer responsibilities so think about yourself more and also help out at a local charity. You will gain purpose and self respect.

My 92-year old MIL has a more active social life than most people I know. She travels, goes to various clubs and learns new skills.

Her knees started to bother her but then she had a knee replacement at 89 and carried on with her dancing.

It’s a state of mind and about focusing on the positives rather than the negatives.

You are feeling down at the moment so the whole world seems grey. However it really isn't and at 40 you are far from too old to carve out a career, many do at your age. I went from strength to strength in my forties. So can you. This is your time, girl, enjoy it!

That's NOT life, that's the life you are choosing to have. I'm not qualified in this field but there is a depressive tone to your statements, have you spoken to anyone about how you feel?

I'm in my 40s. My parents died when I was 21 (father) and 23 (mother). When my husband turned 40 he said he didn't want to be responsible for a family anymore, and left me with 3 kids.

Now 2/3 of my kids are grown, I have an amazing career, and lots of friends. Have you tried therapy? Or Zoloft?

My parents had me in their 40s and both gone when I was in my 30s and early 40s. Not everyone has their kids in their 30s as you seem to think.

This is not life! I think you sound depressed.

You have so much ahead of you. I think you need a holiday, or to see a gp or a break to do some walking, on your own and re-evaluate. Get some fresh air and greenery.

As your dcs become independent, you need to be there less. I've taken a job that requires occasional travel, some new colleagues, a whole new industry to learn, and it makes all the difference.

i felt exactly like you at one point. Just sad or numb and kinda hopeless. I tried and tried to do things to make me feel better, nothing worked in the end. I went to the doctors and soon found out I was depressed. I’ve been on my medication about 5 months now and I feel great. Just something to consider.

Congratulations, you just discovered depression and it's effects.

This is perfectly normal to sometimes feel this way, but let me assure you at 40 you have a whole lifetime ahead, don't let it pass you by.

You sound a bit depressed and that makes it hard to get out and do things. But you need to make a bit of an effort - find things you like doing, learn something new, join a club, make something, travel, help somebody... I know plenty of older people in their 70s and 80s and some in their 90s who enjoy life. There can be plenty to look forward to.

I understand, sympathize, and often share your point of view - but it's not necessarily realistic.
I'll start with the most obvious: It's never too late to have friends. Don't complain if you're the one saying you can't be bothered. Start attending, and make some new ones.
It's actually not too late to have a career, and even if you're in a dead-end job in in a diminishing field, it's not too late to start spending time on something else you might enjoy, where you might feel you're making a contribution. Perhaps it could be a creative project. Or a second part-time job. Or volunteer work. Or just joining a group that does something interesting, like some kind of political activism.
It's always depressing to think of losing parents, but my beloved godmother recently died when she was pushing 100. So don't write off your parents too soon.

Parents could easily be getting up for 80 if OP is 40.

Parents could easily be getting up for 80 if OP is 40.

Have you had depression before op?

Not to sound morbid, but if you suddenly dropped dead tomorrow everyone, and I mean everyone that knows you would say “Oh my God she was so young”.

Life is what you make it. You will become negative with a negative mindset. Not everyone sails through their 20’s and 30’s. For some, it’s the worst time of their life, not the best.

No one has it all figured out. It’s never too late to change careers, pick up a new hobby, travel.

Try to get out of your rut. Live for the moment instead of worrying about the future and loved ones aging. Speak to your GP, antidepressants may ease a bit of shit for you.

And please remember/ aging is a privilege denied to so many. Don’t take it too seriously.

'Life is now work, mop up everything else at the weekend, work.
I know this is life though!'
This isn't my life, far from it. We're all different and only you can change it.
I'm in my 50s, orphaned years ago and have a life limiting condition. I'm beyond grateful for the last few years, ones I wasn't expected to see. It's funny how being told you won't live long makes you want it all the more.
So many amazing events have happened since I was 40, DC1's wedding and later the birth of their first child. DD aced her GCSEs and if she gains her predicted grades will be flying the nest shortly.
Best of all is DS2 having a fantastic career after gaining a very competitive apprenticeship, passing his driving test first time and having a lovely GF for two years, basically everything doctors told us he'd never achieve.
I never dreamed I'd see DC reach adulthood, not only that but they're all happy and so far winning at life (I hate that phrase but it fits), despite dealing with having me so ill.
It's too outng to go into much detail but my condition is one in a million. I could be angry and think, 'Why me?' but it's given me an appreciation of how precious life is and changed my perspective on many things.
Your OP makes you sound depressed. There are many different treatments now. Your post was quite sad to read. I stopped doing anything I didn't enjoy, you need to find your joy.

Blimey, 40’s no age.

I’m much older than you. You’ve got tons of life ahead of you. I didn’t have my youngest until 41. If you’re almost child free, then the world’s your oyster. Don’t avoid seeing your mates.

Do you think you may peri-menopausal? Can make you quite depressed and exhausted. Might be worth having an overall health check.

Are you single or in a relationship?

Why don’t you do a course to help you change career? Allows you to meet people, gives you a confidence boost and gives you a qualification all at the same time. What have you always been interested in?