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Original poster

To wish more formal mourning rituals were still observed in society?

106 replies

Celia24 · 11/02/2025 22:31

I suppose this might have been class related (not sure) but the idea of wearing black for a period of time and everyone knowing it was due to a period of mourning.

With fresh bereavements in the past I’ve struggled with people being happy go lucky during periods of grief.

currently I told a manager I am on leave for the week and she replied ‘oh nice, I’m on holiday soon too.’ This manager has been piling the work on too and I dread her asking how my holiday was when I return or expecting me to be rejuvenated. Not just her, but others who see leave=holiday. I don’t need everyone to know my business but there’s no way I’d be replying ‘good thanks!’ either.

OP posts:
MySparklyGreyScroller · 11/02/2025 22:44

So unless you don’t wear black and expect everyone around you to magically know your holiday leave is actually a funeral, then you must be lower class?

Original poster
Celia24 · 11/02/2025 22:44

ItGhoul · 11/02/2025 22:42

Well, nothing’s stopping you from wearing black if you want to.

Yes, but no one will think anything of it. They won’t think ‘she’s going through bereavement’ and be mindful of it.

that tradition is gone and it must’ve existed for good reason. It’s just something I was contemplating and wondered if anyone else felt similar sometimes.

OP posts:
TheWonderhorse · 11/02/2025 22:43

Not wanting everyone to know your business, but dressing in black so they know your business is a bit weird.

Personally I'd tell her that you've had a bereavement, and give the woman a chance to be gentle with you.

Original poster
Celia24 · 11/02/2025 22:42

@ThinWomansBrain honestly I didn’t correct her because I thought it would be awkward to shoehorn in and would shut down the conversation in a meeting with two other people. Many people are uncomfortable when it comes to death:

it’s why if someone asks how you’re doing usually you won’t reply with the truth even if not so good, because let’s face it, most people would rather hear ‘Fine thanks.

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 11/02/2025 22:42

Well, nothing’s stopping you from wearing black if you want to.

ThinWomansBrain · 11/02/2025 22:39

If you don't want the 'have a great time' comments, say why you are taking annual leave
If it's your wish to take a week to observe mourning rituals, and you feel that society should do the same just because that's how you feel, why is it such a big personal secret?

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