Friend didn’t show up

NMc16 · 2025-02-11T21:04:27+00:00

I was supposed to meet a friend today for coffee. Gave it half an hour and they didn’t show. Sent a message before hand saying I was on my way. They read my message and didn’t reply. Why do people do this? It takes less than 2 seconds to send a message to say you can’t make it. So rude and bad manners. I get people have stuff going on but a simple text to say ‘I can’t make it’ really doesn’t take much.

optimistic47 · 14/02/2025 23:24

Had a friend (someone I stayed in touch with after I left a job) who arranged to meet me in town. I waited and waited for her. I text her only for her to say she was running late as she was in a meeting. However I waited for almost an hour and spent a fortune in travel. Recently she tried to add me on facebook but as I get older I think, I am too old to be waiting around on people who don't make me a priority in their life. I agree with a previous comment on this thread; some people have become way too selfish to consider other's feelings. The biggest insult is when you see them on social media the same night, acting indifferent. Choose better friends.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 14/02/2025 21:38

Madamecholetsbonnet · 12/02/2025 14:33

Ditch them. No excuse for it unless they’re dead.

Perfect answer

Boredoutofmyhead · 14/02/2025 20:54

She got a better offer and tucked you off.
I've had friends like this and to be honest I let the friendship sl7de.
It's not worth the hassle.

Kickingmyshoesoff · 14/02/2025 20:27

That would be end of friendship for me. Shows their true colours how they view your friendship. It will be worth the feeling bad about the no show to clear them away from your life in the long run.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 14/02/2025 20:19

My ‘friend’ did this to me. She had a habit of always being late, so I waited thinking that was the case, after half an hour I texted. I saw that she’d read it but she didn’t reply, eventually after waiting for an hour and texting again asking her if she was ok, I went home. Over 3 hrs later she texted with, ‘I’m ok lol, I guess you realise I’m not coming now, I’ve been really busy painting and decorating, catch up soon!’
I’d put up with her lateness, but failing to let me know she wasn’t coming was the last straw. I caught up with her the following day and told her it was unacceptable to ignore my text and that I’d waited for an hour. I added that I felt disrespected by her and true friends don’t behave that way.
She got really stroppy, stormed off, and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I was very upset, but I’ve gotten over it. I don’t miss her but it does make it difficult and uncomfortable when I’m out with joint friends as she completely blanks me.
I advise that you end the friendship, it’s just not worth the hassle, she’s not a friend she’s a piss taker.

Freud2 · 13/02/2025 19:25

Have they done this before - if so, don't bother with her again.

fingerbobz · 13/02/2025 18:47

Your friend is rude

There's no excuse for her behaviour

I hope she apologised profusely?

JournalistEmily · 13/02/2025 18:36

V rude but I think I would have checked it was still on earlier than just before leaving

Lavenderblossoms · 13/02/2025 18:34

Wow that is rude op. To see your message to say you are on the way read it and not respond... then tell you later they are not well. No fuck that. Tell them to do one.

Original poster

NMc16 · 12/02/2025 20:15

I attend a yoga class and pay 6 weeks upfront. The amount of people that pay and don’t show and don’t contact baffles me. Don’t understand it.

OP posts:

CorduroySituation · 12/02/2025 20:13

whatawonderfultime · 12/02/2025 18:09

I don't mind people running late but to read and ghost completely is unacceptable.

The weird thing is I take bookings for my business and people will literally pay, not turn up, and ghost. One guy made literally 6 bookings and showed up to one of them. All paid for. They don't even get in touch to ask for a refund, then just book again, and don't show up again. It's not like I'm a dentist, this is a booking for something totally optional that people enjoy doing. People are just weird.

Edited

Probably off shagging an OW but can show the wife at home the booking for the activity to allay suspicions.

Original poster

NMc16 · 12/02/2025 19:20

Lateness is also rude. A one off is fine but if it’s just constant it does get annoying and rude. I also have a friend who complains about we never meet but when things are arranged they never reply or else say ‘they can’t make it’. So I just ignore her anytime she complains and let her make arrangements

OP posts:

PenguinLover24 · 12/02/2025 18:39

I agree it takes seconds unless something serious has happened. I had this issue with a friend, it was her idea to meet up and for the few weeks before hand she kept messaging saying how excited she was. The day before I messaged asking what time will we meet there and she didn't reply so I didn't go. I messaged asking if everything was ok and if anything had happened. She messaged back a week later saying oh sorry been so busy! She's no longer a friend.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 12/02/2025 18:37

Your 'friend' was really rude. They were so unwell they couldn't possibly have spent 30 seconds telling you that they were unable to meet?

I used to have a flaky friend who'd often drop me for a better offer. I didn't get mad at her, but after she'd cancelled on me for about the 6th time I replied to her pathetic excuse with "Cool, just let me know when you're next free."
That was 2019 and she hasn't replied yet.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 18:35

Justalittlehandhold · 12/02/2025 18:31

Some of us women are happy that our husbands are able to champion friends, male or female.

We’re not all totally insecure!

OP, she’s not a friend, I wouldn’t arrange to meet up again!

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Where did she say all women are insecure?

Justalittlehandhold · 12/02/2025 18:31

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 16:26

Do you think perhaps his wife found it weird her husband wanted to show up for you, another woman; that he didn't know how to tell you; and that he still follows you because he still cares, but can't rock the boat with his wife? (I'm too invested here. I know.) 😭

Show quote history

Some of us women are happy that our husbands are able to champion friends, male or female.

We’re not all totally insecure!

OP, she’s not a friend, I wouldn’t arrange to meet up again!

whatawonderfultime · 12/02/2025 18:09

I don't mind people running late but to read and ghost completely is unacceptable.

The weird thing is I take bookings for my business and people will literally pay, not turn up, and ghost. One guy made literally 6 bookings and showed up to one of them. All paid for. They don't even get in touch to ask for a refund, then just book again, and don't show up again. It's not like I'm a dentist, this is a booking for something totally optional that people enjoy doing. People are just weird.

Mary46 · 12/02/2025 18:00

Yes people more selfish now. Hate lateness too in people.

Original poster

NMc16 · 12/02/2025 17:52

Mary46 · 12/02/2025 16:41

Same here hate users. I think if its genuine thats fine. I got so tired of flakes I dont re arrange things now.. people are flaky

Same. My problem is I am too reliable for people. I wonder do people see that and abuse it. I get annoyed at people being late constantly. I told a friend that I was starting to get annoyed at her lateness. She then stopped being late. And when someone isn’t the same back I find it difficult to deal with. I know it sounds petty. Anyone who doesn’t care to message or send a text to say they can’t make it or always constantly running late I find it hard to be around that.

OP posts:

Lickityspit · 12/02/2025 17:35

How awful. I wouldn’t arrange to meet again. Unless you have lost both your arms or in a coma you can send a message cancelling

Original poster

NMc16 · 12/02/2025 17:10

purplecorkheart · 12/02/2025 13:34

They were hardly that unwell that they could not type the words sorry I cannot make it.

Honestly I would probably and have done dropped people like this.

Exactly. There are times when I’ve been unwell or just can’t be arsed going but I’ve always said I can’t make it I wouldn’t just leave someone hanging. Maybe I’m a bitch for doing that but I would never just leave someone standing waiting.

OP posts:

optimistic47 · 12/02/2025 17:07

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 16:57

Weird, then....

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I think there's also people in relationships who don't like their partners to be friends of the opposite sex. I met her a couple of times. It was polite and there was nothing bitchy between us. But he's an adult who can make his own decisions so actually I have a problem with his flakiness.

BMW6 · 12/02/2025 17:01

Didn't you ask her why she didn't let you know she wasn't coming at the time??

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 16:58

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 16:41

I have questions too. Lol

Why did you keep him on social media?

Are you friends with his wife?

Has he reached out since not on social media?

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Maybe an AIBU thread is in order??? 😆

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 16:57

optimistic47 · 12/02/2025 16:32

mumtobabyhavoc - She's met me before. They know I love my husband, as I post pictures on social media, referencing him. In a weird way, I would rather this 'friend' be honest and say he can't make it then string me along. She's got nothing to be threatened about as neither of us have tried it on with each other.

Edited

Weird, then....