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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have the money for repairs but cannot face dealing with trades. AIBU to just live in the house as it is

188 replies

Eastie77Returns · 11/02/2025 19:17

Just that really. Bought the house a few years ago. I had threads going at the time about my horrendous experience with Trades. In one particular case (main builder) the police ended up getting involved. We thankfully found decent builders to fix his awful work but even they made errors and ruined some of our new flooring with paint.

We did find some good trades: a Carpenter who did our in wardrobes and shelves, the joiner who put in our doors, the flooring team. They were amazing. But the guys we employed for the bigger stuff…it was awful.

Eventually we ran out of cash and just accepted we would live with the shoddy work we couldn’t fix. Now I’ve inherited some money and I’m in a position to get stuff fixed and add a loft conversion. However I’ve decided for the benefit of my mental health that I cannot do it. I cannot face dealing with Trades again. The lies, the dishonesty, the unprofessionalism. It’s too much. I feel it’s inevitable I’ll be ripped off and a loft conversion will involve so much time, money and disruption.

On the other hand, the house looks shabby. It is a bit embarrassing having guests round when so much needs doing.. The walls already need repainting, skirting boards are awful. The house needs a glow up. I am not handy and neither is DP so we cannot do it ourselves. And we really do need the extra room the conversion will bring. I don’t trust any trades.

The funny thing is I do actually like the house. It has grown on me. It’s old but I like the character. I just feel a bit depressed when I look at the grubby walls and all the bits that need doing.

I’m not even sure what my AIBU is. Should I just live in the house as it is for now and protect my well being?

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 11/02/2025 19:48

DancingLions · 11/02/2025 19:30

Even when it goes well, it's a hassle getting work done. I'm in an HA place so if there's major works need doing, they generally do it. But it's so much upheaval and stress and mess! I dread needing anything done.

I had to have part of the roof fixed and they dragged their heals over it so the bathroom beneath needed a lot of work due to damage. They fixed the walls and the painter came. It's a teeny tiny bathroom and much of it is tiled. Yet it took the painter a week to paint it! Honestly I could have done each coat in an hour but he strung it over a whole week, doing 6 hour days!

I only ever call them over major things I can't do myself, like the leaking roof. As i find it so stressful dealing with them. So I can understand what you're saying.

Im in an HA flat and i TOTALLY get what you mean. Our estate is going through the THIRD change of front doors on our flats. Every time there is an amendment to the fire regs we have to have this done. Dreading the dust noise and mess.

VodkaAndSlimline · 11/02/2025 19:47

We had the loft converted in a previous house. It was so stressful. Awful builders: cut corners, didn't do as we asked, didn't turn up. DH was always at work so I was left to deal with them. Not nice having 3 or 4 pissed off blokes telling you you can't have what was agreed. I really had to stand my ground.

Where we live now we have a fb page where people can ask for recommendations for anything - best pub lunch, best place to walk your dog, best decorators etc. I've had some really good trades people from that, particularly our decorator, who always gets lots of recommendations. Do you have anything like that locally?

Beachcomber · 11/02/2025 19:41

Sort of similar here except that we've been lucky with mostly good tradespeople and we've done the big stuff (roof, windows,etc).
Also we don't currently have the money to do much more.
So we live with it and love it (mostly) as it is.

Doing work is a right hassle and when you work full time and are busy it's incredibly stressful.

Do what works best for you.

tealandteal · 11/02/2025 19:36

Can you ask for recommendations from friends? We have just had some work done by a good electrician and it feels so good to have the work done. Painting is something anyone can learn to do and can make a big difference.

Sort the jobs into things you could do and things you need to be qualified to do(loft extension falls in the second category unfortunately), and watch you tube videos to try and learn. We lived in our last house for 9 years and learnt a few things out of frustration with not being able to get someone in, like a little bit of tiling. Am about to attempt laying a new floor in our bathroom, but don’t think I would attempt carpet for example.

aei22 · 11/02/2025 19:34

You need personal recommendations from people you know and trust.

FreedomandPeace · 11/02/2025 19:32

I’m an architect and I absolutely agree with you OP

I never tell anyone my dh and I are architects and just leave them to spout utter lies about best practice etc etc.

If they actually speak the truth I’ll use them but tbh it’s very very rare.

So I’ve got really good at diy myself.
Just learnt how to lime render and have bought a moveable scaffold to start on the outside of house when the weathers better. We had a quote of £160,000 to do it so I’ll be saving an awful lot of money as well as not having to put up with crap.

Also can’t stand the ‘is that kettle on ?’ Every hour 🤣

DancingLions · 11/02/2025 19:30

Even when it goes well, it's a hassle getting work done. I'm in an HA place so if there's major works need doing, they generally do it. But it's so much upheaval and stress and mess! I dread needing anything done.

I had to have part of the roof fixed and they dragged their heals over it so the bathroom beneath needed a lot of work due to damage. They fixed the walls and the painter came. It's a teeny tiny bathroom and much of it is tiled. Yet it took the painter a week to paint it! Honestly I could have done each coat in an hour but he strung it over a whole week, doing 6 hour days!

I only ever call them over major things I can't do myself, like the leaking roof. As i find it so stressful dealing with them. So I can understand what you're saying.

PurpleSky300 · 11/02/2025 19:29

I am the other way around, I have just finished a renovation and now have no money left. I got 'good' tradesmen - as in their work was good - but their reliability, and level of contact, was ridiculous. The plumber took 3 weeks(!) to change my radiators, working one day here and half a day there and doing whatever he wanted, leaving the house an absolute mess. And then the electrician finished the job but kept my keys for two weeks until I was basically begging for them back. I don't really want to deal with either of them again but I don't want to take a chance on others. Grim.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 11/02/2025 19:28

Do the repairs only. Leave the loft conversion.

Fidgety31 · 11/02/2025 19:26

The longer you put off having the repairs done - the more disrepair your house will fall into.
so at the point in the future when you really have to get repairs done as your house is falling to bits - it will cost more and take longer as you ignored it for so long .

Left · 11/02/2025 19:25

Same!! Am just going to sell my house and buy a new one as that seems less stressful than dealing with trades. Gutted as I love my house 😢

Meredusoleil · 11/02/2025 19:23

WhereAreWeNow · 11/02/2025 19:21

I feel the same. It's not so much that I've had bad experience with tradespeople (although I've had some of that), it's more that I find it really stressful getting work done to the house. It all looks so tired and shabby. I'd kind of like to move out and have a decorator/builder/project manager just renovate the whole lot for me. New windows, new floors, repaint, build extension, new kitchen, new bathroom... But it's never going to ha!

Same here.

Have money and time.

No contacts though.

And definitely can't be dealing with the stress and intrusion of it all!

WhereAreWeNow · 11/02/2025 19:21

I feel the same. It's not so much that I've had bad experience with tradespeople (although I've had some of that), it's more that I find it really stressful getting work done to the house. It all looks so tired and shabby. I'd kind of like to move out and have a decorator/builder/project manager just renovate the whole lot for me. New windows, new floors, repaint, build extension, new kitchen, new bathroom... But it's never going to ha!