In not making child do homework

What are they doing instead? I like homework and reading to keep the kids away from screens and TV as much as possible.

Not forcing your child to do homework is reinforcing to them that they don't need to do anything they don't want to do. Not a good lesson for life imo.

Your child is going to fall behind if you don't do spellings and reading at home. I personally think its cruel to do that, given its not a massive amount of wirk/time.

I didn't battle junior school homework with my two. We were all too bruised by the relentless months and months of so-called "remote learning" in 2020/21 with an autistic, dyslexic, dyspraxic child blowing into daily meltdowns and an undiagnosed dyslexic child sobbing into my lap. Every. Fucking. Day.

They have both settled into doing it at secondary school because they've matured enough to cope with it. It's managed through an app that I can see and I prompt them to do it, but generally they now have the self-motivation to do it. Or at least fear of after-school detentions when they'd rather get home ASAP.

DS1 worked out that it was more economical to not do homework in y6 as he was rewarded for not spending 30+ mins doing something he hated with spending 15 minutes snug and cosy indoors at break rather than loitering on the playground while the other boys chased a ball. There's no arguing through logic like that!

When you've got ND children (and I include dyslexia in this), the school day is extra hard and extra draining to them. They need more time to relax and regulate at home to catch their energy levels up. With conditions like ASD and ADHD, they often segment their life and struggle when different sections of life clash into each other.

My two are both doing really well at secondary and haven't come to any detriment from not having a daily row over homework through the junior school years. DS2 does go to a tutor weekly which gives him targeted support in his areas of weakness which is more useful than a generic sheet for the whole class about obscure points of grammar. I had always emphisised that the expectations at secondary are more rigorous, but to be fair, the homework is far more interesting, varied and purposeful. It's better that they are now self-motivated than nagged micro-managed into submission.

We did always do reading (inc audio books), but concentrated on reading for pleasure rather than regimented reading and being a slave to the reading record.

You say the word and they spell it back to you. I don't suppose the words are that difficult you would need to see them written. You memorise a few of them at a time to test, they are usually a sort of set which makes it easy and if you slip in a few not on the list it's all good.

It is easy for children to slip behind without you really noticing, or if they are really good to not be shining as they should. Being average or doing OK is not necessarily doing as well as they are capable of.

We stopped homework after the first term in reception. Then, like now in year 1, it was a reading book, a huge writing sheet, 3x a week maths app (awful thing that glitches all the time) and termly projects. We stopped because while ds is apparently NT (NHS assessed last year), he's extremely anxious and we had so many tears every night trying to enforce it. Now he is 1 of only 2 kids in the most advanced group for reading, I guess because we read interesting books at home, including ones from other better reading schemes. And he is years ahead in maths, because he absolutely loves it.

We will have to start again at some point, I assume when spellings start, or proper maths. But he's 6 bloody years old, and his teacher is in full support of what we're doing as he's doing so well, I'm not putting him through that just yet when he's struggling with the pressure. I'm not going to make him hate learning.

We stopped doing it in year 4. It was make work. Nothing ever fed back, no consequences, the only benefit was from what you got by doing it and like you it was more hassle than it was worth. The only thing I did say was that if you don't do anything you won't have anything to share at the half term showcase. School have now changed to have reading and Complete Maths as the only homework and child is self motivated to do that.

I think the argument about homework being pointless at primary school slightly misses the point.

Yes it’s probably irrelevant in terms of the child’s overall academic journey but it’s about instilling the habit and the self discipline.

I think a commitment to making an attempt to at least complete set homework is important. It shouldn’t come at the expense of free play, hobbies or downtime and if it’s really onerous you should speak to the teacher but setting a precedent that it’s optional is going to shore up problems at the point where homework really starts to become important.

I refused to do my older child’s homework with him, when asking him to complete some work resulted in him grabbing a kitchen knife and trying to stab me and himself.
From that day on, no more homework. He is also autistic and now in year 6.
He has made a pact that when he gets to secondary he will be able to try harder.
My youngest does 2 worksheets most weeks. When they have bothered to upload the sheets to the school server that is.
He is currently year 2 and NT.
I can’t see that it harms a primary school child to not do their homework.

Doesn’t sound much dd is in yr 3. We have spellings maths and reading every night and then extra maths 2 pages of a book for weekend

teacher says to do all 3 ideally every night for 5mins each. So 15m in all. I think all kids /parents should be able to do this

we have Ed shed and rock stars so the maths and English is done on an iPad and by child alone - she stars near me and reading she does to me

If I could have a do-over, I’d have opted out of doing homework with ds.
He has high masking autism and having school work crossing over the boundary into home was always a problem.
I thought if I persevered, it would teach discipline etc etc. It did nothing but create misery and conflict.

In secondary one of his teachers said to me that homework has many purposes but creating stress and disrupting the harmony of the home is not on the list. But by that point he wouldn’t step out from the norm and struggled on. It took until he was 16 for him to be capable of sitting down and doing homework. Dd was doing hers by the age of 6.

ND dc need different things than NT dc. Focus on your ds op, and what he needs, rather than trying to hammer a square peg in a round hole. Our ed system was designed to produce a compliant workforce for the Industrial Revolution, and our brilliant ND kids are crashing out, burnt out and broken at a terrifying rate. And it would be tragedy enough but these are the kinds of minds the economy needs in the Digital Revolution.

"They aren't falling behind at school, in fact in most areas they are ahead"

There's your answer. If it's not needed and it's causing stress then it's a no brainer.

My poor kids doing dyslexia interventions in two languages (Gaelic and English). And, to be fair, she's bearing like a trooper.
In your position, I wouldn't bother at all.

I agree. Reading posts like this makes me realise how out of touch some parents are with the inner workings of schools!

Don’t do that. It will be a school policy , set by the leadership team. The teacher may well not agree with homework either but it’s probably not their choice. Challenge the head if you want , but the poor teacher doesn’t need that.

I'd assume you were complaining about this is was reception or year 1. It sounds readable for a year 3 child. Don't be so lazy

Whether you do all of the homework or not I think the important things are that you are familiar with what your child is learning, you don't express negativity about homework and you don't encourage your child to think they are special or different enough to not have to do the home work when every other kid does it.
Positivity in the work, support and respect for their teacher - reinforcing that what they are learning is important.
My kids completed most homework on time, or apologised and had a valid excuse.
They had a reader and 10 weekly spelling words.
You can do spelling in a car, if need be.

There is no benefit to homework in primary school. At that age play based learning, as in just playing, is how children learn. Ask the teacher for the research evidence of how homework helps. There isn’t any.

I did not make my kids do any homework at all. A full day at school is sufficient. I did however fully encourage pleasure reading & they became book worms. One for a first class in classics from St Andrews and the other acing it at Glasgow university.
Reading is the best thing you can make them love.

We got a letter home from DC’s school this year saying they’ve scrapped spelling tests as there’s no evidence to show it actually works for retaining information longer term.

I’m so sorry, I missed the important part of your thread. The child’s age. I’m sorry again