In not making child do homework

OP, the point of homework is to get into a habit that is required for seconday school.
To learn the habit of regular work and study.
To instill good habits.
Learning to study is a real skill and children that have never done homework may sometimes struggle.

I don't believe it needs to be a long time, but the principle every day of doing even the smallest bit is so good.

With my children we did it the minute we got in from school after they changed from their uniform.
I made them a little snack and they quickly did it.
Then we put the books away as the school day was done.
It was a discipline that served them very well.

We had huge fights over anything school related at home. There might be SEN (dyslexia, maybe ADHD) but we met the SENCO to discuss progress and brought this up.

They said do not push and do not force. She works so hard at school then she's probably exhausted by home time so unless she chooses to do it then we don't mention it.

We back off and she's happier and has started reading for pleasure. She had got to a point where she refused to pick up a pen at home though as we were pushing spellings but it never clicked.

That’s not a great deal for Year 3.

Makes me sad that so many people in the UK appreciate education and take free schooling for granted.

Hi OP, I totally hear you on the homework stress. family life gets busy. My daughters are both on waiting lists for assessments. We have our battles too and have trued a few different things out. But ultimately, don’t feel you have to force it and cause stress to you both. Sounds like your child is doing really well at school.
Have you come across 5 minute mum? She’s in FB/Insta. She has lots of games you can play for spellings, times tables and more. For spellings, I write them out on bits of paper and play the simplest games I can (many whilst simultaneously cooking/emptying dishwasher) - eg. Paper aeroplanes landing on a spelling, child reads it out and can also extend to look, cover, write check. She also does a good one that you can do with craft foam in the bath/shower. TT rock stars for times tables - mine have to do 5 mins on there before going on their choice on the iPad on weekdays. It’s not a battle anymore, it’s become habit - we started with just 2 days. Reading - we try to read the school book 1 night per week and our own in the other nights. Check with your teacher about any comprehension Qs you can ask, but it shouldn’t matter what they’re reading. And shared reading with you is great. we do try to do worksheets once per week - like you, I thought it best to set up habits ready for homework at secondary. So we have ‘workbook Wednesdays’ where set out a nice snack abd the sheets ready for when they get home. We all sit at the table, set a timer for 10 mins and crack on. Again, it took sone building up but now it’s habit and generally no fuss at all.

We have a similar amount in Y1.

TBH I think at a minimum reading and spelling you should be doing and ideally you would do the sheet as well. They may not get in trouble but you don't want them to fall behind. Knowing how to read and spell are pretty important and if your child can't spell their spelling words now they are not likely to just start being able to do them without learning them.

Can you do the sheet and reading at the weekend? We do most homework at the weekend.

Spellings we get on Monday for a test on Friday. We do a test on Tuesday morn then practice the ones she gets wrong on the next mornings of the week.

If you need to use the evenings, can you drop an afterschool activity? Do the sheet in a cafe as a treat (but only on the basis that they do the sheet)?

YABU it's a worksheet and spellings. Spellings is easy to make fun into a fun game or can be done in the car.
If you make them read every evening anyway why isn't it the school book?
And a worksheet once a week is nothing; they should be able to do that themselves while you're cooking tea.

I think it’ll bite you both in the bum when they start secondary school if you don’t carve out a routine to get the homework done as least a few times a week.

I had to help my DC learn a different language at 3 years old because we moved abroad!

Paying my DC always helped motivate them to do homework and chores (their bedroom and bathroom).

Teacher here - we asked parents what they wanted and they agreed reading and times tables so that is what we do! We ask for 10 mins times tables and to read - however we still get children and parents moaning about this.

My son is in Y5. He's autistic and has a mild learning disability. He works at Y2 level. He's in mainstream with the maximum level of support an EHCP can provide.
His homework weekly is:
-Whole page of English comprehension
_Whole page of Grammar

• 2 pages of Maths he absolutely doesn't understand

• 6 spelling games on EdShed

• 10 words for his spellings

I think it's too much but I also think he needs all the help he can get. As he completely refuses to sit down with us to do his homework and it creates so.much tension at home, we now paybl for a private tutor to do this with him . He does it with her, but I'm not sure he learns much by doing this. I'd much rather she taught him the maths concepts he's missing instead of trying to get him to do work.he doesn't understand ( all his work is Y3 ,but I think it should be Year 2).

At dis school homework has to be in on Thursday, if it's not done they stay in Friday lunch to complete it.

Spellings are really important. If you can't fit it around other activities you need to be looking at just how many activities your child is doing.

We also sent ours to extra spelling lessons as they are both dyslexic

Ds is in y5 they get a weekly homework sheet, plus timestables , spellings and reading to be done 4x a week. We do it after tea whilst sat at the table Monday-Thursday . It takes 20 minutes .

I don't agree. Your expectations increase with age. I see so many parents hovering over everything when they're small and this doesn't teach consequences or self motivation.

I wouldn't worry about it at that age. Reading with them and to them is the most important in primary. I have never policed homework apart from reminding them and my 3 are all excelling academically at secondary and very motivated.

We did always talk about school and discussed what they were learning and I helped if they asked me.

In my opinion it's really important for kids to become independent and enjoy schoolwork and a daily battle over spellings doesn't help that.

Exactly. The transition to secondary school is the perfect moment to introduce homework - it is part of a very visible change, and it is also the point where homework starts to have benefits.

There are other ways in which children can learn that sometimes they have to do things that are not fun - helping with household tasks, tidying their rooms, that sort of thing. And we have these things called parents to help them learn.

That's not my experience - I'm in my 60's, and we had no homework
at primary school. No tables,no spellings,nothing.
We understood perfectly well once we got to secondary school that we were older,school was different and we had homework now.
I remember being excited ( though that did wear off )
It was a non issue

No child likes homework. The problem is, if you don't ensure your child does their homework at this age, then once they reach secondary school, your child is going to struggle. Homework has to be completed at secondary school, otherwise your child will be in countless detentions. You will end up creating a rod for your own back, and won't be doing your child any favours. The homework your child has for Year 3, isn't a great deal to be honest.

On the contrary, it potentially teaches all sorts of helpful things about choices, responsibilities, consequences, extrinsic and intrinsic motivation and different ways of surviving in irrational bureaucracies.

Mine just copy their spellings out each night. Bit of hw sheet - it's done in 10 mins.
They are only going to get more hw as they go up the school so setting schedule now can help

Mine loved writing springs with chalk on pavement or huge whiteboard sheet that sticks to wall or using finger on ipad app

But most of the time, there are other options. It’s wrong to make children believe they have no automy over their lives. Adults and children should know, if you’re unhappy, there will are other options available that might be better suited. Teaching children they have to do things whether they like it or not just creates a culture of adults stuck in cycles they don’t enjoy. By the way, this doesn’t mean they should do nothing - it means go and find something you do enjoy and learn that way organically.

Op we were the same, I have 3 girls, all primary school age.

We didn't do homework but they participated in projects and solo talks.

My kids do a competitive sport which means they train between 15-21 hours a week. We are also really fucking busy.

However when they started primary 6 age 9-10 ( Scottish here so unsure the English year) we then started doing some more homework to prepare for the transition to secondary school and by P7 we made sure they were doing allocated home work.

I absolutely disagree with homework for the first 5 school years, we much more focused on experiences, they were part of the school paper team and alot of other school run activities that would enrich their education more than sitting at a table answering 20 sums.

Cool! You do you. I was just answering that poster’s question.

Education and work are two different things.

Education consists of the time spent being taught concepts, which is the school day, and the time spent independently embedding the concepts, which is homework.

A school pupil is attending school around 6 hours a day and the amount of independent learning they do will build up over the years, so at present OP's son is only expected to do 30 minutes a day. By the end of secondary, he would be needed to do at least ~2 hours a day (which is a normal 8 hour day) to be achieving good grades, in preparation for spending most of the day independently directing his own learning at university, if that's his chosen path.

6.5hrs of "work" a day is hardly burning the candles at both ends.

Similar things to what I do when I’m not at work. Telly, cooking, reading, piano practise, talking to friends (playing on switch chatting to friends), playing with siblings, tidying their rooms, extra curricular clubs.
Yeah loads of us do extra work after our work hours but generally it’s seen as not ideal - either burning the candle at both ends, or not very capable of your job.