In not making child do homework

This. Plus if they fall behind and struggle they will feel like it's a punishment which won't end well.

As they get older I think they will question why their parents make them follow some school rules and not others because they will spot that everything is solely at your discretion and I'd they are able to wear you down now woth a battle, it will be worse then.

Imo it's just a stage like the terrible 2s. You assert your rules and stick to them and the message they get is that what you say goes. Which is why picking your battles is important. Maybe this isn't one you want to fight. As long as they don't think they've won through poor behaviour then its up to you.

But please don't be the mum that says stuff like "oh yours are so clever/easy, they never fight or struggle with the work because its easy for them" because firstly its not true and secondly, ours work really hard and apply themselves consistently because we have gone through the battles.

We don't do homework. I told their schools we're not doing it so we don't.

My experience is that there will be push and pulls at different points but

1. It's important that if you want them to do it, they do it.

We change times when we need to and let them pick when they do it but we have rules like no TV at the weekend until its done. Its up to them if they want to do it in the week or all on a Saturday or have a consequence on a Sunday at the deadline we have in place and being made to do it then anyway. I think that gives them some choice in the when and will help us and them to see their preferred study habits. We've noticed that ours does it during the week around the other clubs or after breakfast so they can get up for Saturday morning cartoons.

1. We are seeing the benefit of the homework which makes it easy to support.

Homework is another afterschool activity... you don't seem to find an issue fittng other after school activities into your child's week! Homework is set to support your child in their educational progress. They may be ahead in some areas but that doesn't mean they don't have to continue to complete the set tasks. If you don't get your child into a routine now then you will find it even more difficult when your child reaches secondary school when the amount of homework will only significantly increase.

Only you can decide whether to ensure your child completed the tasks but I can't imagine teachers set homework just for the fun of it!
Good luck!

You keep doing what you are doing. It's too much for kids when are they meant to be kids? Battling fighting They been at school all day, home is home to be safe reflex unwind.. Far too much pressure far too much work.

Yes, I do realise that. What our school provided was pathetic. I know that because I was able to access what was on my niece’s school’s website and they had about 3 times as much, every single week. Also a state primary.

Please don’t tell me what I can and can’t post.

You do realise the schools had to carry on teaching children of key workers and others with safeguarding concerns don't you? So any online/ extra had to he done out of those hours or juggling cover for teachers? Stop bashing schools.

Too much imo. My child gets 1 spelling sheet a week and they're expected to read at home daily, plus practise x tables at parents discretion. 100% agree. And if they don't do their hw it's no big deal.

There should be no homework in primary school apart from Reading to encourage a love of finding things out, precious family time should not be spent arguing over timestables/pointless sheets/spelling tests.
There's plenty of time at secondary school and beyond to do homework. Schools are just turning children off.
If the school day is not sufficient then it would be better for most families to extend the school day by 15 mins to complete any 'homework tasks'!

As a high school teacher I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Homework is only valuable if it makes a positive difference to your child which at primary level I think is minimal. I don’t force homework on my DS who’s 9 but he reads regularly and he enjoys making up stories and playing scrabble where we can look at practising spelling in a more holistic way. Once he’s at secondary he’ll be more independent to do his homework without me sat next to him which will be easier. Added in to the fact you suspect your child is ASD/ADHD then really I would be happy to encourage them to think of learning in an enjoyable positive way and do things at home that they enjoy!

I think it really depends on the child, in primary my eldest never practiced spellings and I had to battle with him to read. Every evening was a nightmare as I used to try everything to get the homework done.
In the end I gave up and told him he would have to face the consequences of not doing it, if his teacher decided to keep him in etc
Now he is at secondary school he has homework everyday and detention if it doesn’t get done, I remind him to get it done and provide a quiet area and snacks but again I don’t battle anymore.
Our second wants to go to grammar school, we are paying for tutoring as he wished, so that he knows what to expect in the exam etc I fully expect that homework to be done and I tell him it has to be done before he is allowed to do recreational things.
If I had to battle to get him to do it, he knows that the tutoring would stop because we are budgeting to enable him to do it, but he seems to complete everything school and his tutor sets with minimal fuss, just a different temperament I guess!

I check in with my child once a term or so ‘are you happy to keep getting 2 out of 10 in your spelling or would you like me to help you practise and get more’. For year 1-4 it was a resounding happy to get 2/10. Now she freaks out cos I think they lose a lunch play if they get less than 7. But also spelling / reading just clicks sometimes. I wouldn’t worry too much. Be child led. But also think outside the box and sing spellings / times tables etc in the car or bath or other times they might be more amenable to it.

She was tutored for a few months in Year 5 for the 11+. (And handily helped cover the pathetic provision her school made for home schooling during lockdown.)
No tutoring before then or after.

So, quite a big difference. But I think you knew that.

I don't understand how anyone thinks it's possible to do spellings in a car. How am I supposed to read the words to my child when I'm driving and how are they supposed to right it down?

...despite all my facetious instincts screaming to be fulfilled, I'm not touching that with a long stick.

What's the difference between tutoring and homework?

I don’t really agree with this.

I think it can be better for children to spend time outside school doing something that they love and/ or can feel they are good at, rather than yet more school, and esp yet more of something they really struggle with.

DD went to a state primary that didn’t do traditional homework. (They didn’t have a uniform either which I know will send MN into a tailspin.)

With a little tutoring she passed the 11+ into a couple of local indies.

The only reason for doing it is to prepare them for HW in secondary and introducing HW in years 5 and 6 (which they did only then there was Covid) is enough prep.

I think from a child’s point of view (not thinking about parents for a minute) the idea that school carries on at home can be really problematic for some of them.

They want and probably need a delineation between school and home - that’s school over for the day, now I can relax.

If school had to go on a bit longer to allow for that, I think many children would prefer it.

Not saying it would be an easy thing to put into practice (teaching time etc) but it’s totally understandable why some children need that dividing line.

Lots of adults prefer office working, or working in a specified part of the home such as a home office within certain hours, and then a line comes down at (say) 5pm and that’s that done. It’s understandable!

We didn't get any homework til age 11 at secondary school.

Is it honestly necessary?

Maybe reframe some of it as games, iSpy, reading together, family activity.

Sigh. This goes to the core of what’s wrong with the school system doesn’t it. If you can’t teach kids what they need during lessons, they get extra homework, encroaching on the bit of free time kids have. Because in this system we believe the most important thing is that kids get as good as they can at academics.

yes, doing more homework will make your kid better at spelling. No doubt about it.
As doing more math would make them better at math.

But if that time is take away from:
connecting and bonding with family and friends, imaginary play, extracurriculars, sport/exercise, down time, creativity,

then what is your child loosing out on?

kids can always get better at academic stuff. The sky is the limit, look at Singapore or China, (and the mental well being of those kids).

teachers are made to push for More homework to meet the test standards to again get good Ofsted scores.

this is not about your child’s well-being or development.

as long as YOU think your child is doing ok, then that’s fine! Listen to your gut.

Plenty of kids get forced to focus on academics and do well and get into a god university and then they get a good job, only to wake up at 40 in a massive midlife crisis and realize they don’t even know what they want themselves and never live a fulfilling life, because kids aren’t taught to pursue joy, but just to comply.

Im not saying that you should let them drop out of school or not make an effort if they’re significantly below level, but as long as they’re coasting along, don’t stress. Not all kids are motivated at an early age, some wake up later, lots of very successful people did badly in primary and secondary school and had an academic awakening later on. Some never do and go on to do non academic things and have a good life like that!

but one thing which is for sure is that if you want your kid to have a good life and a good relationship to you, then don’t break their spirit and don’t spend night after night battling with them over homework. Give it a try, by all means, in a positive way, but if it gets too hard, let it go.

that’s my advice ❤️

sincerely a child of two teachers who were raised with this approach and did very well In some subjects and atrociously in others, but have done very well in life and never doubted myself.

honestly i feel your main - esp if you are a working mum whose time with children is limited, why would you want to spend it stressing over homework? but the reason they are given is to build a foundation for independent work at home which the child will benefit from as they grow older. my recommendation is: 1. get a tutor, once a week, if you can afford it, to do the homework together and reading 2. give them some independence in doing the homework by letting them choose the time to do e.g. either 4pm or 5pm everyday, get a sandtimer, 10 mins or 15 min, place on kitchen table, ensure no distractions, tv off. only instruct them what to do, do not sit and oversee. e.g. for spelling, write out each word 5 times? and don't test him. let the teacher do the testing. at that age they should be able to read homework sheets alone? only interfere when needed/when ur child asks u because they don't understand. don't focus on getting answers write, that's the teacher's task to ensure children have learnt well. good luck!

Previous post should have read “don’t appreciate” education!

I got little homework at primary school. It did me no harm. I actually found the homework in year 7 quite simple. We would be set tasks like reading for 30 minutes. I loved reading. Maths homework was quite easy in the early weeks too. We were just recapping things that we did at primary school.

Yanbu. My kids school doesn't do homework at all (they always cite one study that says that homework in primary aged children shows no benefits. The only thing that does is reading).
We do have a home learning grid with spellings for my younger child every term and I will usually check that they can do that but otherwise it's reading only as far as "homework" is concerned. My kids seem to be doing ok, are happy, and do plenty of reading and sports outside of school.
Edited to add I do check in with my children and will do a bit of reinforcement or discussing a concept if necessary - for example my eldest was struggling with some aspects of maths so I spoke to the teacher and she gave me a few examples to go over. Much more useful to have that targeted approach than churning out worksheets for the sake of it.

I work in a secondary school and there can be a bit of an adjustment but you start small, work your way up and it generally works out ok for everyone 🤷

My child had an ASD diagnosis and had a problem with 'out of context' things/people in Primary school. Teachers met in a supermarket could cause a meltdown, every item of 'school' clothing had to be stripped off immediately we arrived home, school bag could not be repurposed for sports activity etc. That led to immense issues about homework, throughout primary school and I was taken to task by a few teachers who felt that I should force homework. My reply was that home is an oasis, and I was not going to have my home turned into a zoo every day.

What I did was to use social stories about children doing homework, have a homework space, look through the homework and discuss what was needed and encourage. Sometimes it would be done, but not often.

Secondary school was fantastic - they had a homework club after school, supervised by a teacher who helped them if they needed it, assisted by older pupils. They had fun, they ate biscuits, they did their homework!

Yes, my child was more mature by then and understood the value of homework but I think that it was the supportive environment and actually doing the homework in school that made the difference. By the time exams were on the horizon, homework was a breeze.