Adult children sharing the same room as parents on holiday. Yes or no?

I voted YABU but only because I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. 4 adults sharing a cabin.
It wasn't that bad and you'd be surprised at how many people do it. Not all cabins are like sardine cans - some are actually quite roomy..
It's only like camping or staying in a caravan but better. To be fair I'd draw the line at camping ..
Booking a solo cabin for yourself would have cost you practically the same amount your parents paid for their cabin for 4.

Yuck. Four people sharing a tiny cabin and fetid little bathroom?? No way. YANBU to say the least.

At 24 nobody gets to dictate where you go or what you do, especially when you were married and moved out so not living under their roof! Expecting you to come and not inviting your husband/wife was also incredibly rude, as a working person you only had finite holiday to take, booking and paying for you without you knowing, so expecting you to spend it with them and not your own spouse is serious CF behaviour.
I would never have entertained going without my partner, nor would i have shared a tiny family room. Won't give the details to book a separate cabin and invite my spouse? Enjoy your holiday without me.

I wouldn't find it weird to share a room with my dad etc at that age but its weird that they wouldn't allow you to book separate cabins if you were paying.

We are taking my 17/19 yo old DCs and they were happy to share with us (both boys) but we booked separate cabins anyway as it was a good deal. Just seems so strange to not have discussions about hols, I would never assume the DC are OK with us all sharing, if it was the only option then they would have the choice of coming or not. You are definitely not BU.

I don’t think it’s particularly weird to share a room with your adult father or brother when you’re an adult, and I admit that I find it mildly strange that the issue here is sharing across members of your immediate family who are of a different sex. However personally I would not at all find it comfortable to share a small cramped room with four other people and one tiny bathroom for the same, regardless of sex. So in that sense I don’t blame you.

It's the bunks that gets me. It's not exactly dignified getting in or out the top bunk.
Adult / Adolescent climbing up there over the top of the other one, in flimsy pjs.
Nice. Lots of bits wobbling around. 🙈

4 of you in one room wouldn't have been so much of an issue if it was a normal room bit more space, two single beds and before you were married.

I might be doing 2+2=5 but it's like they didn't want to recognise the wedding, marriage or husband.

Giving Op the details of the cruise and travel agent would no doubt have meant Op would have booked separate cabin and had her DH with her.

It's very controlling behaviour by the Mother.
Op is she still the same with your DH?

I've just read your replies OP, not all the comments after. I don't think you are wrong.

I have shared a motel room with all beds in the main area with adult children before, and we were all happy with that (and it was just a night or two). The idea of doing the same with my parents - no thanks. I could probably only deal with that for a night or two myself.

If you were willing to pay for your own cabin, there should be no issue with you trying to book one. Unreasonable they wouldn't let you try. Not unreasonable for you to choose not to go since cruises tend not to be short.

No need to keep it anonymous; it was very obvious from the start that you were the 24 year old DD - and also that YANBU!

There are so many things wrong with your mother’s behaviour here:

1. The fact she booked a holiday for a 24-year-old adult without asking first. That is beyond overbearing and presumptuous.

1. The fact that she expected a family consisting of two parents and two adolescent/adult children of the opposite sex to be fine with sharing a room and didn’t consider that this might be weird and uncomfortable.

1. The fact that she literally refused to let you look into other options despite the fact that you were happy to pay for alternatives yourself.

4.The fact that she is still dicking on about this and holding it against you 10 years later.

Your mother sounds a) mad and b) a twat.

Really weird behaviour.
Does she not like your DH?

The time for the last family holiday was before you got married. That's why folk cry at weddings it's the end of one era start of another.

I don't think you were in the wrong, adult limited annual leave and probably recently married. And cruise cabins aren't really meant for more than 2 adults. I'm kinda surprised they were allowed to book 3 adults and teen

I think it's very odd that the "last family holiday" hadn't already happened if you had already moved out and got married. Did they not accept your marriage?

As a point of interest how did you manage this? Id often wanted my DDs in another room but couldn't find a hotel that would allow me to book gor them seperately

Didn't finish the OP eh @falkandknife?

Busted! 😂

You gave the right answer though.

Exactly why though? I had a couple of days away with DS ( ages 20) and we shared a room ( not a bed) . Was no issue

This is what stands out to me! As a parent I would never have allowed this arrangement. I did go on a holiday with my lovely Mum for my 21st and we had separate rooms! It was 40 years ago .

I would have gone and shared a cabin with my mum and let my brother and dad share a cabin.

There were only two children.

Refusing to give you details of the booking is just weird.

I’m going on holiday with my 22 yo dd and 18 yo ds soon. I asked them if they wanted to come and they’ve paid for themselves but we’re all sharing a room, there was no hesitation from either of them.
I think it’s odd your mum booked without asking you and that she wouldn’t let you add an extra room onto the booking but I don’t think sharing a room was unreasonable (provided all 4 beds were adult sized!)

We share with our adult DCs occasionally. For example, DH and I are going to a concert with one of our DSs in a couple of months and I've booked one room with 2 double beds for the 3 of us. I'm sure DS would prefer a room of his own, and to be honest so would we, but tickets are expensive and hotel prices in the vicinity are high as it is so we'll put up with a bit of discomfort for one night. But I wouldn't fancy it for a fortnight, especially in a space as small as a ship's cabin. I think everyone would be craving a bit of privacy after a while.
I don't think you were at all unreasonable OP. Aside from the sleeping arrangements it is a long time to go on holiday without your husband unless it's what you both wanted. I understand why your Mum might want to have just her own children on the holiday, but you can't cling onto the past - children grow into adults and build different relationships and as a parent you have to accept that, no matter how much you miss the way things used to be. My DD visited without her partner recently as he was working away and much as I like him, yes, it was really nice to just have my nuclear family back together for a couple of days. We all enjoyed ourselves and I can understand why your Mum might want that. But it was just how things worked out. DD was alone and both her brothers were home from University so she wanted to join us. I'd never actually invite her to anything without her partner, especially not a fortnight's holiday - now that would be unreasonable in my opinion. I don't think you did anything wrong OP.

Why not? He's not a child and married couples don't need to do everything together,

I think it's much stranger to share a room with you wife's aunt and uncle than sharing a room with your own parents and brother.

Whilst it may be a big snug, I wouldn’t have any issue sharing with my dad and brother. They’re family, not strangers. Assuming everyone is fully clothed, I don’t see it as being any different to seeing them in the lounge at home. To the previous poster who said she wouldn’t share with a male relative as she had big boobs, surely they’re just as big in normal clothes and she wouldn’t be sleeping with them out? You’d get changed into pjs in the bathroom and that would be it. Unless everyone has perverted male relatives, I don’t really get this.

Having said that, you shouldn’t be expected to go on a holiday and share if you’d offered to pay for your own room.

At 24, moved out, married and without discussing this as a family holiday? They were (and are) totally bonkers!

I guess they must have got carried away thinking it would be nice for you to all be together. Didn't see you as a proper adult to consult with. And then took offence when you weren't bowled over with enthusiasm. Perhaps some hurt pride with them wanting to "treat" you and you declining/offering to pay your way.

With hindsight, how sensitively/gently did you decline/offer alternatives? How was the cruise for your DB?