AIBU? Baby Boy- Autism.

As a parent of a todder currently going through evaluation/diagnosis, I think that the spectrum is exactly that, a spectrum. There are so many "signs" that can go both ways. Toddlers typically play with walking on toes, autistic children tend to do it for much longer for example. Most toddlers therefore do it and grow out of it, but if you are on high alert, you are going to see signs everywhere you look and could incorrectly interpret this. I'm gently saying this, but you should (if you aren't already) get help for your anxiety regarding this. Our child has a speech/developmental delay, is 2.5 and if our daycare weren't pushing the evaluation, our doctor would tell us to wait longer as he is still catching up and functioning well. If you google it, you will see parents whose children were as you are describing above, who are autistic. I have gone down this rabbit hole, and it doesn't really provide any solutions at this age. I will say that I recently reached out to a mums group locally and said what our experiences were and did anyone have any experience with similar, and some were really just "speech delay, got therapy, child now completely fine". Yes there is a chance it is autism, there is always a chance, but you are very unlikely to find out at this age. Obviously raise concerns to the nurse/doctor, but also, please try to enjoy your baby and let them develop.

Sorry that’s supposed to say babbling. No banking yet, although she does seem to like money!

This is very inaccurate.

OP you're going to worry away your son's childhood if you don't seek help for your anxiety. One day he'll be a teenager and you'll regret all this worrying.

This sounds like my daughter at that age except that she wasn’t babbling at all, she was completely silent. Sometimes she would avoid my gaze. I was very worried. She got to about 10-11 months and started banking overnight. She’s 2 now and says loads of stuff. I wish I hadn’t wasted all that time worrying.

That's isn't true. My DD10 was diagnosed with autism a few months ago, she made eye contact as a baby/toddler/child and reached milestones accordingly ect

This is entirely untrue. Autism is a huge spectrum of disability. It’s not a one size fits all. Many children go undiagnosed for ages as they don’t tick the “typical autism boxes” until later in life. Many autistic children make eye contact. Don’t give advice on something you clearly no nothing about

Nothing there sounds like anything to be concerned about. Even if he does turn out to be autistic there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it and it doesn't change who he is.

Ok so have you had your 9-12m development review through from your HV service yet, if not give them a call/email confirm they have the correct details and see where they are for booking. Our area normally book after 10m

You will be sent an age adjusted ASQ to fill in - you can find these ASQ3 forms on Google and work out what one you need using the calculator

Talk to the clinican about this. You can continue to use drop in sessions to discuss concerns

Our nursery flagged concerns when our little girl just turned 2, which then lead to our 2-2.5yr check with HV being earlier than normal (so at 25m rather than 27+) we then had an integrated review with nursery these can only be done before the age of 3, she was sent to CCCT panel and we had our peads appt at the end of the year (so under a year from start to diagnosis)

Depending where you are in the UK pathways might not be available for.assessment until 2.5yrs

The only thing you can do is wait and keep interacting

My autistic sons weren't picked up on until age 2 at least..

Also being ASD isn't so bad. I mean I do it, and it's actually ok.

The think that sticks out to me from your post actually, is that you have an incredible memory, if you are holding all that information in your head.

Is it maybe that you are very very intelligent and getting a bit frustrated with the slow passage of time? Maybe if you could get some other activity to grind your academic wheels against then it would enable you to relax and let your child develop at his own pace?

I have this a bit too and I do music exams so that I can grind my wheels against that instead of my DC.

Absolute rubbish.

My asd children do both. They’re both sociable and have friends.

If your DC is autistic, then the right thing to do would be to keep encouraging him in his social behaviour, which you are already doing, so I think you are fine.

tbh he sounds fine anyway. He's already doing so many things well.

I'm ASD with an ASD child and I have health anxiety, so I totally get where you are coming from but I think you're doing fine.

My advice would be to get real therapy for yourself and enjoy your baby. If they have ASD, nobody will assess him for ~18 months, so work on yourself.

Please let your baby be a baby and try and enjoy him growing, they grow far too fast.

you also need to go and speak to your doctor about your worries and anxiety, this is not normal.

A huge list of things he cannot do, be thankful for the things he does do, he’s 10 months old!

Everything sounds perfectly normal.
Your baby is sociable and engaged.

This is incorrect stereotyping about what it means to be autistic.

As you have asked in AIBU, then the answer is Yes, YABU.

Of course it sounds like it is your anxiety talking, and you have said you are already seeking help for that.

Nothing in all you have written says 'autism' to me.

You need to step away from google and anywhere it leads you and step away from whatever nonsense you are reading.
He is (corrected) 8.5 months and is doing fine.

Stop reading all of this stuff and start enjoying being with your little one.

I can't edit this - but that biscuit was meant to be flowers and in no way passive aggressive!! ❤️

@Miratea my son is also perfectly sociable. You don't have any factual information on autism, just a stigma. Please refrain from giving advice when you are extremely misinformed on the topic.

Op, nothing in your post is concerning

Completely untrue. My autistic son did both of those things.

If this is your level of knowledge about autism then you need to stop giving anyone advice on autism. My goldfish is better informed.

(Speaking as parent of a sociable, eye contact making but still very much autistic child.)

@Miratea stop. Seriously. Just stop.