To think this isn’t cliquey?

But the complaining person would appear to want to be invited so that doesnt make sense

Why does OP need to do this? It's not easy to book a table to have a nice meal for a totally unknown number of people, why can't they go out as a 6?

My kids are grown up now but we did this when they were at primary school and one mum got left out - not intentionally- by accident, and still to this day she avoids me if I see her out and about!!

I don't think what you describe in itself is a clique, but maybe there are nuances to the situation you aren't aware of? It's clearly being perceived as a clique if others in the group chat are responding in agreement with this woman.

A clique is really a friendship group that's completely closed off to new people joining in. If this isn't you and your friends, what's wrong with organising your own thing and then saying in the big group chat 'a few of us are going for dinner and drinks at 8pm on Saturday, would anybody like to join?'

Are you saying that people who did join when invited cant carry on going out together because the people who didn't want to join on previous nights out aren't invited?

That's crazy, it's not cliquey at all, otherwise they wouldn't be able to see each other

Just tell the drama queen that any events / invitations posted on the all-class group are open to all parents, and any personal relationships between parents will be managed outside this group and not anyone else’s business.Hopefully that isn’t a huge shock to her!

Loving the passive agressive response of that other mum OP. Clearly someone who can't be bothered to put the effort in and gets the hump when they see other mums on a night out. I'd like to think I'm friendly with the parents at our school, but there are some people more than others that I have naturally formed relationships with as we have more in common. I would like to think those that I don't gel with or struggle to find common ground are grown up enough to find friends either inside or outside the school gates. I'd certainly like to think these parents wouldn't see any stronger bonding friendships as a clique, but in all honesty if they did then that is their perception and their problem to deal with.

Very similar to our group. We were a larger group of parents but there were a core 6 or so of us who always seemed to suggest and organise things. Others outside the 6 sometimes did things together and didn't invite us (they were both runners who first arranged weekends away at runs which then expanded to just weekends away together).

And then lockdown came and the rule of 6 so we naturally formed a group of 6 who could socialise. After lockdown and the rule of 6 ended we invited a couple of extra in so we're now 8.

We meet to plan things - not always grand things, just things like walks after work in the summer, odd meals out etc. We usually put these up on the extended group chat but no-one replies.

Last year we went abroad for a long weekend (6 out of the 8). The first time we'd been abroad together for years. (Previous trips had included the two runners but that was probably the best part of ten years ago.) And one of the 2 runners asked where her invitation was - I literally haven't seen her more than once since lockdown - almost never responds to invitations to parties, drinks at home etc. I get on well with her when I do see her but our lives don't really meet at all now so I was really surprised at her reaction.

surely the group of 6 people is just a friendship group....

Have you ever gone out with a group of friends and wondered that?

It's a strange phenomenon on here that women aren't allowed to make a few mates over the years at school and have a few nights out without being a pack of cliquey bitchez.

I haven't got along in all my school years there have been plenty of events I haven't been invited too. As we tell the children, you can't go to all the parties.

You can be friends with whoever you like and go out with those people as much as you like. You don't have to invite every single person you know every time you go out! We have a group like this at work, the 4 of us get on particularly well out of everyone so go out together more often.

Unless you ignore or are blatantly rude to people at the school gate then there's no issue. But after how rude that other mum was I wouldn't be organising anything for the Whatsapp group, that would just encourage me even more to stick to the small group.

The people who never organise anything, rarely show up when something is organised and basically make no effort are always the ones to complain they're being excluded.

I would suggest to moany, entitled mother that it would be great if she'd like to organise more outings for the group because you've found organising something for a large group when the numbers aren't set in stone is really quite difficult.

Honestly OP, I've read all your posts and this whole thing is childish and blown out of all proportion.

Ignore the drama, carry on with your life and doing what you do.

Waits for someone to come along and claim that either everyone be invited or no one.

The entire year isn't a friendship group.

Surely in all schools it's normal for a few large nights out with all invited and over the years they dwindle off and people either don't bother or they make a few mates if they are up for that and the groups get smaller. Friendships grow via hobbies eg football teams etc.

It's a bit ridiculous to suggest that you have to invite 30 people on every one of your nights out in case someone gets the hump.

If "massive extrovert" means talking out loud to another living person then it sounds like they are, yes.

@CharityShopChic "It's always the same, nobody speaks to me at the school gate, everyone's friends already, I just stand in the corner and look at my phone - then wah wah nobody is my friend."

Why won't they all #BeKind... indefinitely. They are all like so mean.

Seriously what's the point of this comment?

God Alive it's totally fine to have a night out with friends and not invite the entire year group, particularly by this stage in the game.

Groups can be tricky dynamics at the best of times. I've found that there are organisers and followers in any group. Organisers are invested, put in a lot of effort, followers not so much but they can get very used to being invited to things and start taking it for granted, hence being flakey, not responding etc. But they don't appreciate being left out if others are meeting up without them.

It's interesting that the one complaining has never organised anything. She probably doesn't appreciate the effort involved but doesn't want to lose the benefit of the service provided for her.

Perhaps you should be wondering why others don't want to join you for your get togethers.

Are you all 'massive extroverts'?

@TheIvyRestaurant honestly is just point out - Brenda you’ve been invited many times and cancelled last minute or just not turned up - it’s not a clique if you are the one excluding yourself.

then run away and mute WhatsApp and let the bombs fall as they may.

That's your opinion.

There's manners, and then there's expecting women to manage the emotional well-being of everyone around them.