Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you work because you want to or because you have to?

145 replies

fromthbottomofmyheart · 11/02/2025 16:29

Is your job is just a necessary evil to fund your life, or are you truly passionate about what you do? In other words, are you grinding away just for the paycheck, or are you the type of person who wakes up every day thinking, "I can’t wait to tackle that spreadsheet!"?

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

OP posts:
F1rugby23 · 11/02/2025 18:45

I think I would actually retrain if I won the lottery. Enjoy my job for the people and social side, but the work is stressful for low pay, but I can't afford to retrain and feel stuck. I worked all through Covid though was wfh some of the time, it was still busy.

PurpleSky300 · 11/02/2025 18:45

I can't really imagine a job that I could love so much that I'd do it for free. I would not work at all, if I had the choice.

MummaMummaMumma · 11/02/2025 18:45

I don't need to work, as husband earns enough and we share everything.
I barely worked whilst kids were little.
I wanted to go back to work and have found a lovely part time job, term time only and mostly school hours. If it didn't fit around the kids I wouldn't do it, but I'm happy that I can!

5128gap · 11/02/2025 18:44

Both. I need to work to fund my lifestyle, but previously I did similar work as a volunteer, and if I won the lottery I'd do the same again. I count myself very lucky because I actually do get up excited about the day ahead, which is typically interesting, satisfying and full of good people, support and lots of laughs.

OldChinaJug · 11/02/2025 18:44

Both!

I love my job (primary school teacher).

But I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to 😉

NotTerfNorCis · 11/02/2025 18:42

Because I have to. I'd love to have control over my life and my time rather than spend most of it working.

Rella357 · 11/02/2025 18:41

I'm a MH practitioner but I currently only work 2 4 hour mornings a week. Its not for the money, it's because I am genuinely passionate about my job, want to have some independence and also feel like its good to have one foot in the door for when I eventually want to return to work properly. I don't think I'll ever go back to a full time 9-5 though

BoredZelda · 11/02/2025 18:38

I work because I have to, but I also really enjoy it. If I no longer needed to work, I'm not sure I would give it up.

Madamecholetsbonnet · 11/02/2025 18:38

I absolutely love my job but if I won the lottery I would resign next day.

Scottishskifun · 11/02/2025 18:38

I love my job like everything it has its ups and downs and stressful moments but it took me a long time to get into so even if I won the lottery I wouldn't give it up.

MyUmberSeal · 11/02/2025 18:37

DoorToNowhere · 11/02/2025 18:21

I don't think it's crass. For us as a family there were positives to not having commutes and spending more time together. That's just a fact. Also, very presumptuous to assume everyone had taxpayer funding. Some us worked throughout without furlough etc.

Thank you for that. It was my comment they said was crass. As it goes, I maintain that I loved being furloughed. I did also work a second job at a funeral home the majority of the time I was furloughed, so know how shit it was for many many people. But that was a choice for me, not a requirement. Which rather gets to the essence of the OP,s post. It was a lovely and content time for me. I’d love to have the freedom to not work if I didn’t feel like it and would give up my main job in a heartbeat.

LaundryPond · 11/02/2025 18:37

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:19

It is though. My job is meaningful but I still would not do it. Surely you can do something meaningful without work.

Not if your work is directing opera, or writing novels!

CarpetKnees · 11/02/2025 18:36

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:14

Those who would still work though? What do you do that you would not give up even for a lottery win?

When the lottery first started, we had this discussion with people I was working with.
At the time, we said - not multi millions, but "If you won £100 000" (keep in mind this would have paid off my mortgage and given me about 4 years of my salary on top).
I remember saying at the time, I'd still come to work, but I'd outsource a lot of the drudgery at home. What was always difficult about work was balancing work and home.
Same as when we did eventually pay the mortgage off. I do not enjoy cleaning, gardening, decorating, etc. I'd always choose my job over stuff like that. So we got someone to clean and someone to do our garden and someone to do the decorating / odd jobs. I was still better off financially than had I stopped working (or even dropped a day), and I enjoyed my job much more without so much to do outside of it.

I think if you are talking about Euro millions, then it is different.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 11/02/2025 18:32

Somewhere in between tbh. I really enjoy some aspects of my job, but working full time is a grind as my workload is not really manageable and I struggle to find time and energy to look after my house and do other things. I'd love to go part time but need the money really.

aCatCalledFawkes · 11/02/2025 18:29

FashionCrazy · 11/02/2025 16:47

SAHM and I have nothing to get out of bed for. The less you do, the less you want to do.

Been trying to get a job but after 10yrs not working, I'm finding it difficult.

I loved being a SAHM when my kids were younger but for my mental health I should have kept working part time.

Can you volunteer? Charity shops would love you.

My recent ex walked out of his job in December. All of a sudden he was laying in and not getting up, the conversation dropped off between us to what shopping her done and what he had cooked for tea while I worked all the way through December and January. 😟

aCatCalledFawkes · 11/02/2025 18:24

At first I worked because I had to due to being a single parent. Now I work because I still need to but I love my job, the people I work with and the comfort of being paid my salary every month.

if I won the lottery I would probably buy my daughter her dream horse, pay the mortgage off and invest more money in to my pension and share portfolio. I would work yes because you can’t take anything for granted and never know when you would need the money,

DoorToNowhere · 11/02/2025 18:21

LavenderHaze19 · 11/02/2025 17:28

Sure, we know people have different experiences, but given what we now know about how profoundly some people suffered as a result of the lockdowns, it’s still crass to say how ‘gorgeous’ it was because you were being paid by the taxpayer to not work.

Not illegal, people can say what they like, but definitely crass.

I don't think it's crass. For us as a family there were positives to not having commutes and spending more time together. That's just a fact. Also, very presumptuous to assume everyone had taxpayer funding. Some us worked throughout without furlough etc.

Ferrazzuoli · 11/02/2025 18:20

I enjoy my job and i think I'd do it even if I didn't have to. It helps that I'm part time (4 days a week) so I have a day to catch up on non work stuff or meet a friend for lunch.

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:19

It is though. My job is meaningful but I still would not do it. Surely you can do something meaningful without work.

LaundryPond · 11/02/2025 18:17

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:14

Those who would still work though? What do you do that you would not give up even for a lottery win?

It’s surely not that hard to imagine what people might do that they find meaningful!

TheChosenTwo · 11/02/2025 18:17

I work because I want to!
It’s a wonderful position to be in. Not every day is brilliant obviously and I don’t think I could say it’s a job I love but it both challenges and satisfies my brain, is flexible, really good leave allowance, a lot of paid carers leave (I’ve only used 5 days in 3 years and I think we are allowed 15 per year and then managers discretion can permit you more if necessary) and pays very well for what it is. I also like having something that’s just for me and I get on really well with my colleagues.
It’s handy to have the money don’t get me wrong but we’d financially be absolutely fine without me working. I went back to work after a long break when the kids were little, I knew I needed a routine and structure as I’m not disciplined without deadlines.
Every now and then I look at other jobs wondering if I’m just plodding along but then I remember I’m in a very fortunate position, it’s pretty low stress compared to being in a classroom (former job) and I don’t take work home with me at the end of the day.

JHound · 11/02/2025 18:15

Both.

I don’t want to go to work everyday but I am fanatically independent and need to earn my own money.

SandalsandPools · 11/02/2025 18:15

For the money. I’d give it up without hesitation if I won the lottery.

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:14

Those who would still work though? What do you do that you would not give up even for a lottery win?

Constantsoul · 11/02/2025 18:13

I don’t mind my job at all however it is really highly paid so it would be tough to justify not doing it.

I often think how hard it will be to retire if I’m
in the same role as one more year will always be tempting particularly with RSUs etc.