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AIBU?

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Am I nagging?

53 replies

Jamontoast123x · 11/02/2025 11:08

I’ve been with my partner for 12 years this year. We have 4 children together. I just wanted to know if anyone else’s partner does this or just mine, he will come home from work spend some time downstairs with us and then he will go upstairs , lay in bed/on the bed watching tv, enjoying his own company. Sometimes he will even eat dinner up there. When he’s off work, he pretty much does the same. We will take kids out and then as soon as we come back in he will make a point of saying he’s chilling out now and he will come upstairs and do just that. I say to him a lot I want to spend more time with him but he always says he likes his own company and he can’t watch what he wants downstairs as our toddler watches stuff. Which I get but what happened to speaking and just enjoying each others company?

Aibu for nagging him to stop doing this or does anyone else’s partner/husband do this?

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 11/02/2025 11:15

If he likes his own company so much he shouldn't have had children. He is being a lousy parent, a lousy partner, and is modelling really bad behaviour.

username299 · 11/02/2025 11:13

Nagging is a very misogynist term.

He doesn't want to spend time with you or the family. It's not 'nagging' to want to spend time with your husband or expect him to contribute.

I couldn't stand being with someone who couldn't even eat a meal with me and chose to eat it in bed.

I'm sure you don't want to watch the same things as your toddler either but surely your toddler is in bed in the evening. I'd tell him to shape up or ship out.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 11/02/2025 11:11

How about a compromise?

He spends SOME of his spare time chilling alone, and some of it with you.

I'm not sure it's helpful to label things "nagging". Whether it is or not is largely irrelevant to the problem you have. Plus some mumsnetters will say it is and some will say it isn't. Has your partner accused you of being a nag?

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