Nearly three years ago my husband gave up a job with an £120k a year salary.
At the time I was self employed earning around £30-40k but I didn't work full time. Both our daughters are still young and still at school.
My DH is in IT while I'm a journalist. I simply can't earn £120k a year and I can't transition to PR because I don't have those soft skills. He said he hated his boss and his job had changed which I did get at them time.
We were in our early 50s. So fast forward three years and I've had to take out a £35K loan and I'm roughly in debt with credit cards of 8K.
I'm not struggling to make the repayments that's not the problem because I'm in a staff job which pays around £50k.
My husband is doing further study and when he gave up his job he told me there would be no money worries. He manages an Airbnb that we run in our extension. It's lovely self contained area (I didn't want that to happen but he and his mum my MIL and his sister convinced me) So that makes about £30k a year before tax. He also does some other stuff including driving et cetera. Now the year he gave up his job he booked an exotic rather expensive holiday. I did push back but he paid for it. I had to pay all the spending money which probably have was about £1500. The following year we were talking about getting a campervan but just talking then he got it into his head that he wanted to buy mini bus and convert it. I wasn't convinced either but he just wet and bought an old mini bus for £3K out of our emergency savings and we have been on holiday on it a couple of times. Both times I chipped in with spending money although it has to goon credit.
He seems to be able to afford things but I'm worried about money.
Now my argument is and I'm getting quite annoyed is that I've just had to pay the gas and electricity bill out of some of the loan money which I've kept in an account for emergencies & i'm getting more and more angry and frustrated when my husband says he's going book a holiday to Wales this year and he's gonna go on it anyway. How do I convince my husband that we are a team and that the money that he has spent isn't just his money and the money I spent isn't just my money. I've probably spent thousands of pounds on my children's clothes on clubs including like expensive swimming Piano and tuition. These are things my husband doesn't normally pay for he pays for the mortgage out of the Airbnb money. But the way I see it is that Airbnb money it's a joint family asset. He says it's his salary. And that I need to start paying my share of the mortgage. I do pay all the other bills for example I've just paid £800 quarterly gas and electricity. i've just paid £600 for the water bill. So I am paying for things. I also pay for life insurance and various insurances although he pays for the home contents and buildings insurance and that probably is about £250 a month that covers the mortgage and if we get sick or die. I am paying my share but we keep arguing about this time and time again am I being unreasonable to say that the Airbnb money should be the mortgage money and that that is a joint family asset or is my husband ferreting some money away somewhere because he's always saying he's got no cash.
We did have emergency savings but only he has access to them and every time I ask they appear to dwindling.
What do I do?
I feel he should be paying some more money into a pension.
He's also going on about us moving to France so we can pay off our mortgage even though our children have 6 years of school left and we live in an area with good schools.
I live him but this is affecting all areas of our marriage.