Dp problems, don’t know how to solve?

It's obviously niggled you OP, and rightly so.
Passing off a mean comment as a 'joke' is a bullying tactic.
I'd keep a close eye on this kind of behaviour and nip it hard.
Yes, he has to police his language - that's not a negative, if mean things slip out of his mouth he should be trying harder not to say them.
It would concern me a bit that now he's moved in and you're financially connected that he feels more comfortable in dictating your behaviour.
Don't be a boiled frog.

Well either he polices his language, you police your reaction, or you carry on having the same conversation every time you have a drink.

If DH said to me he would have to ‘get used to ‘ something harmless I do, I would just smile and say ‘yes’. If I was in a good mood I would give him a kiss and a hug, if I was in a bad mood I might mention getting used to socks on the floor.

But I’m sure some keyboard warrior will be coming along to tell you to sell your house and live in poverty and distress rather than smooth it over.

I don't think anyone sensible would seriously suggest that going out 4 times a year is in any way problematic or gives any sense of substance abuse

Hence its an obvious joke

It’s a mean joke then.
why or how is this ‘funny’
making your partner feel like they have a substance abuse problem for having the odd glass of wine? Wouldn’t you just talk to them normally if you were worried. Or if they explained that they didn’t find it funny, you would say sorry I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings it landed the wrong way. And not keep doing it again?

Maybe it was (I don't think so) but his reaction to OP asking him to stop is pretty telling even so

So, instead of taking what his partner is saying seriously, he turned it into a joke? How charming and hats off to you too, crusty the clown

It's an obvious joke

Extrapolating it to abuse and ltb is unhinged

So, instead of saying "I'm sorry, it was never my intention to make you feel that way", he has played defense in an offensive manner. Why are some men like this? You should be able to voice how you feel without someone making you feel guilty for it, especially when you're not being unreasonable with what you're saying. Making statements like that will make you extra cautious about what to bring up in the future and your relationship shouldn't be like that. I think you need to express this to him. If you cannot speak freely with your DP without him being an ass, what's the point

Boiled frog
It would be very unusual for a man to be very controlling from day 1, most women would run a mile. They ramp it up slowly
Interesting that its gone up a notch now you are trapped by a mortgage

I don’t think being over sensitive is being fed up with someone making pointless digs at you. If I have a concern I will talk to my DP properly and kindly not by being passive aggressive. He has a bad back and I talked to him about going to see someone to get help, he doesn’t want to. If I keep making digs he will get fed up of it. As would I.

He is passively aggressively judging you to stop you doing it, it will be rooted in some kind of judgment about it making him feel uncomfortable problem is, it’s your body and doesn’t affect him at ALL. He either voices his ‘discomfort’ like an adult or keeps it to himself

If you are over sensitive as you say, maybe just need to have a bit more time and if he says anything again tell him you don't appreciate his comments and ask him not to mention it again.
I wouldn't put much value on the "dump him brigade" on here, as you say he has many good values - concentrate on these and iron out the annoyances.

I’d second this, and move back out.

Especially with the follow up of when you raise the behaviour of making the comments, he does it again about the fact you commented!

This is very black and white thinking.

Not all abusers are entirely bad and not all kind people are entirely good.

If abusers were horrible from the get go then they would lose the crucial element of control.

They manage to pull it back every time by buying gifts or offering favours or compliments, making you feel like a queen, being overly selfless in every other aspect because then you feel indebted to them somehow.

Honestly the mortgage is the least of your worries and you should seek legal advice for forcing a sale on this house and move out.

No you're not oversensitive. He's just done a classic DARVO

He's said something to shame you then when you've pointed out that's not nice he has turned himself into the victim by saying he will have to police his language around you and made YOU out to be the one controlling his speech or thoughts.

It is control and dont disregard it as low level.

Manipulative abusers often start with small things and then as they get deeper into a commitment with you it escalates ESPECIALLY during pregnancy and postnatally so don't have any children with this man.

I've been in enough abusive relationships to not tolerate this and if you want my advice, LTB now.

OP this is spot on.
Anyway, questioning him won’t make him stop. He wants to get to you. I agree that it starts with small things that he can laugh off and say you’re over reacting.
I would end it.

Let him police his language around you;he's being a complete twat about some occasional drinking;3 medium glasses (175ml) of wine amounts to 525mls;a pint is 568mls.

I'm betting if you're out he'll have a single pint then try to shame you for drinking (well I'm assuming sipping at a couple of glasses of whatever wine you enjoy).

I agree. Challenge him: get used to it or fuck off Dave.

You need to challenge him at the time he says these things "yes, you had better get used to it Dave, because I really don't drink very much, and I won't be changing anytime soon".

‘I’m only joking’ isn’t allowed in this house. That’s what I tell my kids anyway.

It’s a tactic used by bullies to 1. say what they like and 2. invalidate their victim’s feelings.

He’s being a dick OP.

Listen to what people are saying.

He's testing the waters on control.
You are feeling guilty for something that you shouldn't.

You feel obligated to stay because of a mortgage. He knows this.

It always starts small.

Maybe read some other threads on similar situations.

Do you want to live your life feeling judged, controlled, guilty?

Keep an eye on how many times he says these things. The needing to 'police his language' is a red flag.

Then ask him what it is he needs to "get used to" about light social drinking? What impact is it having on him?

This would really annoy me