No regrets, but would you have done this for your friend?

Utter fucking offensive bollocks. I do not drive, but I do have a functioning brain.

Do you usually enjoy silly generalisations?

You are right.

but I can’t imagine living 3.5miles from
a bus stop.
sounds like a nightmare.

That definitely would not be legal

You're absolutely not a terrible friend, I couldn't drive when I first had my son til he was 4 months old and had moved to a tiny village from London, and got taxis and buses abd trains everywhere, alot of times couldn't go anywhere because we didn't have the set up and no way would I ever have my baby or now my toddler unsecured in a car. Accidents happen every day and the horror that can happen, its just not worth the risk. She's seriously endangering her child.

Your car only had one spare seat for two people, so it was never going to work, nothing to feel regret about. The car seat situation is irrelevant really - as a child I remember us piling into a car with half a dozen kids and no regard for safety but that was in the 70s, those days are long gone - and for good reason. The

it's not actually illegal to travel without being in a car seat.
I'm not saying it's safe but it can be legal
https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

But not in the footwell!!!

Were there enough seats/car seats for everyone with a bit of shuffling around? You say your back seat was full of car seats. For example were there 3 child seats in the back but you already had 3 DC with you?

Ultimately it doesn't matter as it's not your responsibility to ferry your pal around, and it was unfair of her to try and pressure you into giving her a lift.

Also not the point, but just to mention that lots of places don’t have much public transport links at all. Where I used to live, the bus to the local town ran once a week. Where I am now there is no bus to town at all. There are baby groups though 😊

Like you say, if she had asked in advance, you could have sorted it...maybe she assumed you would have the big car.

You only had 1 spare seat. Your friend needed a lift for 2 people.

Somebody else had 2 spare seats.

I think you did the right thing. She was much better in car with 2 spare seats even without a car seat, than sharing a seat/in a footwear

I would have hated to be put in that position.

Was it 3.5 miles of main roads / country roads etc? Not that it really makes much difference.

I think people that don't drive themselves don't seem to understand the importance of car seats or other safety features of cars.

Abso-bloody-lutely. I also can't fly and every time we go on a plane, the cabin crew have to forcibly hold me down to put the seat belt on, because with not flying, I just don't understand about the safety features of a plane.

Or, this is actually such a bloody stupid thing to say and just a way to have a dig at people who can't drive. If you can't drive yourself about then you have to be very proactive about sorting your transport in advance and never expect to or rely on getting a lift from someone else. That's just not on. She should have booked a taxi to collect her from the group at the end time. She has a cheek expecting other people to sort out her transport for her like that (and in OP's case, risk OP's licence in the event of a crash. Not on!)

She is absolutely in the wrong for even asking you to do this. Even more so when there are a group of you where someone else does have the space in their car. Why would she not ask the group if anyone can help her out?!

In your shoes, I would be the one who’s annoyed that someone even asked for such a ridiculous favour - it is not safe in any circumstance to have a child in the footwell. Completely different if you had space space in the back (even without child seat) and she put toddler there while she sat in front. This is something that would be ok to ask but should accept if driver is not comfortable

Your OP should have mentioned that your kids were taking up all the seats in the back.

But, yes, OP you’re in the right here. Everyone, adults, kids and dogs must be restrained in my car; I don’t drive until they are. I hate the “it’s only a mile” or whatever argument because anything can happen.

If she is actually upset with you just text with a “I won’t risk anyone’s safety or my insurance but I could have taken my larger car had I know two more people would have driven back with me; let me know next time well in advance?”

If you'd given her the lift and nothing happened it would be a small favour soon forgotten, if you'd crashed and killed her DC it would have spoilt your life and hers. You did the right thing Op, if she's off with you next that's on her

Well for future reference there's usually just a switch, often in the glove box. I'd never put a kid in the front with one on cos airbags are dangerous - the benefits outweigh the risks for an adult but not a child.

As per the gov link above & once you find the off switch for the airbag (just remember to put it back on after) you now know you could have helped, with some buggering about, both legally & as safely as you could have. Definitely safer than being on a bike with a toddler on roads as she would normally do.

The posters suggesting you should have sourced her a taxi and paid for it, or you should have left one of your children with another adult, are quite frankly, bonkers!
What if your child became distressed by that? Let alone being inconvenient to the host that would then have to hang around.

The bottom line is that your friend knew she had no concrete plans to get home/get to the bus stop and you had no available space in your car. End of.

Oh and the suggestion to put her child in the footwell? No words for that one.

You absolutely did the right thing.

It was not the OPs problem to fix. She did the right thing and her friend should take responsibility for her own safe transportation.

WTAF have I just read.

she thinks that the footwell is better than at least attempting an adult seat belt like a taxi would allow. I wouldn’t have permitted either but the fact that her solution was the footwell has just BLOWN my mind

I think she was very cheeky asking this of you and got her DH to drop her there assuming you'd be good with it.

You did the right thing, she had no right to ask you that, what would happen if there was an accident?

You did the right thing.
Your friend isn't respecting your boundaries.
Irrespective of the detail around the car seat, (which you were correct about btw,) the issue is, you were asked to do something and as is your right, you chose not to do it. This should be the end of the matter; and would be if your friend, respected your boundaries.
Going back to the detail; the outcome could've been catastrophic that day had there been a collision. The unease of saying no, is a far lighter burden in the circumstance.