No regrets, but would you have done this for your friend?

Well, this is AIBU, so I am going to say yes, you absolutely should have bunged the child and car seat in the boot because here you are unkind and selfish unless you massively put yourself out to accomodate other people's demands, whims or unreasonable cheeky fuckery requests.

Who offers to put their child in a foot well 🙄You did the right thing OP

You’re legally allowed to have a child on your lap, for a one off journey, or if there is no room for another car seat. However, they MUST travel in the rear of the vehicle. Whether you deem it “safe” or not, is another issue, but she’d face the same situation in a taxi. The fact is that you didn’t have room for her and her child, so were not being unreasonable to not give her a lift. The suggestion of putting the child in the footwell would be laughable, if it wasn’t so dangerous.

Wow, no I couldn’t have done this OP. For so many reasons. As well as it being illegal, an unsecured toddler in the footwell could be badly hurt in even a small accident or sudden stop. And if the toddler starts making a fuss and trying to climb out they’re right where you’re trying to drive and could cause an accident. On top of that, if you did this once, she’d find it reasonable to put you in this situation again.

As taxis exist, that’s the solution and as a PP said, sometimes you just have to suck it up if you don’t have transport and it means you can’t go somewhere.

You were put in an impossible position. The outcomes if something went wrong would have been life changing. She should have just called herself a taxi or planned her transport better.

I wouldn’t. It’s points on your licence as the driver!

Why is it OP's responsibility to pay for a can? Round here that would be about £18 for a similar journey. It's absolutely NOT ok to drive with a toddler in the foot well however carefully you drive, what about all the other nutters on the road or if you have to brake hard? I can't believe you even think it's an option.

You absolutely did the right thing.
Her request was wildly inappropriate.
She is being neglectful of her child!
Other options:

• get a cab 3.5 miles
• get OH to pick her back up
• walk
• don’t go in the first place

I have absolutely no idea why 7% are saying YABU. That’s wild!

OP, you were not being even a bit unreasonable. I’m astonished by the people in this thread advocating travelling without a car seat “because it’s OK for short journeys” - two thirds of car accidents happen within five miles of home. It’s also (if you look at what the guidance says) only OK to have your child in the back seat. I’m amazed by the number who seem to be hard of reading on this thread - just how many times do you have to tell them that there were three children travelling in three car seats in the back, and your friend wanted to sit in the front with her DC in the footwell?

@Newhorizons8 read my post above. You really need to rethink your travel regime.

When DS was a toddler we had a car accident. It wasn’t particularly high speed - only about 35-40mph on a country road. I swerved to avoid a pheasant and then lost control, bounced off a tree and ended up in a ditch. Both windscreens broke, and the folded buggy that had been in the boot ended up 20 yards away. The contents of the (closed at the time of the accident) glove box were scattered over the road. Bits of my car were all over the place. CDs were lodged in the hedge by the road. Despite the airbag inflating, my knees whacked hard against the dashboard. It was astounding to see how much movement of any items that weren’t fixed down occurred. I’ve even heard people saying their rings have come off on impact in crashes. DS was safely strapped in this car seat, but it makes my blood run cold to think what would have happened if he’d been in the foot-well. As it is, I’ll never ever forget the car coming to a halt, and me turning round to look and see if DS was still alive. It was nearly 20 years ago and I still feel sick thinking about it.

You were right to refuse OP.

I’m guessing here but if she typically cycles everywhere and lives somewhere you can easily grab buses she may have either failed to think through how far away bus stop was (eg have looked it up with default being time to cycle to it vs time to walk and not realised) or she might just have assumed she’d be able to get a bus even with a bit of a wait and not considered the stop being 3.5 miles away. Honestly I would check before I went because I like to have a plan but it would not have occurred to me that housing in a built up area could be that far from a bus route.

Ridiculous not to allow the child to ride in the footwell ??

Because the car seats had children sitting in them ?

YANBU

Im not a stickler for rules but would have absolutely said no to this. I may have been ok with toddler beside her in the back or on her lap for a very short distance, maybe a mile on slow roads but no way would I put a child in the footwell.i would have serious concerns about her parenting after this.

You are so, so lucky you were never involved in an accident.

Toddler in the footwell!!! Isn't that just the most dangerous place to be!
Toddler in a seat at the back on a cushion would be safer.

I would be really questioning her judgement and my friendship. If she thinks that's fine for her own kid imagine what she may think is fine for someone else's kid.

Before I recently passed my test I managed 3 children without a car. Non drivers like this really annoy me, you can't rely on other people to ferry you about. Sometimes my non driver status meant I missed out on groups that I would have liked to go to but that is just the way it is. Expecting people to risk their licence, safety and children's safety is just not on. I don't know why a PP suggested that OP was responsible for offering to pay for another adult's taxi home!

My 7yo has never rode in a car seat. I just used to put him on my lap. We don't own a car but have used plenty of Ubers or had lifts from family/friends with no issues. I would have thought you were being pretty ridiculous.

You did the right thing. She shouldn't have asked you to break the law.

OP you were right and showed a care and love for children.

She should have planned how she was getting home. I think she had decided to ask you for a lift, regardless of safety rules. She shouldn't have put you in that position - I would not have risked my child's life in that way - she is definitely in the wrong.

The op has 3 kids...she would not have fitted the mum plus her toddler in her car. Unless the toddler sat on the floor or on mums knee...both dangerous!

Could her toddler not of sat in one of your many car seats ? And the mum in the front

Move it to the front seat! It's not difficult -: you really don't like this person do you?

Actually you do because legally if you can't fit 3 car seats across the back you can put a toddler in the middle without a car seat. Also for short one off journeys you legally don't need a car seat!