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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you get signed off for insomnia?

31 replies

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 07:33

I know there are piss takers who call in sick every Monday with a hangover but I'm not nor have done anything like that.

I am in a role I'm very stressed in and fortunately only have a couple of weeks left. I'm part of a large 'training cohort' and a couple of people have resigned already.

We're not given adequate time to complete the work in and doing unpaid overtime for 29k a year isn't really fair. We've spoken to our manager and she told us to go to senior management with complaints.

I've forgotten what a decent night's sleep looks like. I spend my days there in a trance, come home at night and nap which I know I'm fortunate to be able to do as no children etc. And then just dread the next day. I've tried sleeping tablets but they haven't worked sadly.
I try mindfulness, exercise etc. Which helps me to some extent but ultimately it's not going to make such a stressful role any better unfortunately.

I've never really had any sick leave except the occasional day over the last 17 years tbh. Wondering about taking some sick leave as it'll just allow me to recharge and recover. Once I've left this awful job which should hopefully be in a couple of weeks, my anxiety will significantly improve I imagine.
But until then I can't cope with this anymore.

They are literally taking away 2 days this week with all day meetings, we've said it'll not give us time to do the work we're meant to do and we're told we've got to just make it work somehow. Allowed limited time off this year.
I feel trapped but I've been told I need to just get over it and shouldn't be taking sick leave. It's not the sort of job where anyone would struggle if I'm not in or would have a lot more work to do, don't know how to explain it but it's not like that.

At this point I'm not even caring if it looks bad on a reference. If that's the world we live in where people are scared of being off sick, and I definitely am. What would you do? I know I'll be out in a few weeks but don't know if I can do it.

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Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 20:38

I get 1 month full sick pay luckily, have a note for 2 weeks.
I've received a formal job offer today, my notice period is 4 weeks but they've said I can start as soon as I'm available and if I'm able to be released from the notice earlier then even better.

Haven't handed in the note now but just wondering what the best course of action would be..

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jolota · 11/02/2025 14:29

I wouldn't, but I can't afford to live on sick pay so its not really an option other than the odd day of here & there when I'm really unwell.
If you're leaving this job anyway, you don't need to worry about a good reference since its normally done when you accept the new role? Unless you don't have another job lined up already?
If you can afford it/your company pays fully for sick pay then prioritising your health is the obvious thing to do.
I would definitely stop the evening naps though and just eat early and go to bed early, you might find it helps you sleep a bit more consistently in the night.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 14:21

My new job have been able to use my HMRC tax records in place of a reference, thank goodness

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Lighttodark · 11/02/2025 14:05

Well done OP! Send it, switch off and rest.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 12:00

I've managed to get a private consultation and a sick note luckily. Need to pluck up the courage to send it !

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Starlight7080 · 11/02/2025 11:06

Having a nap is bad for sleep . Especially so late in the day .
But I do think it sounds like they should atleast be paying you for the extra time.
If you tried to get a sick note don't just say lack of sleep or mention naps as the gp may also just think you nap and it ruins your routine .
I would say stress and fatigue atleast

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 11:02

Thank you. I feel like I'm being dramatic, but we have about 20 hours of e learning on week and all day zoom training sessions that we're meant to make endless notes on.
I'm just staring at it and nothing is going in. I will speak to a GP today.

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Quorafun · 11/02/2025 10:58

Take some time off. You are describing symptoms of burnout.

ItGhoul · 11/02/2025 10:55

Really bad insomnia is debilitating, so there's no reason why you shouldn't be signed off with a doctor's note if the doctor feels that's appropriate.

Lighttodark · 11/02/2025 10:33

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 10:28

Thank you. Just trying to get the courage to do it.. if I get a sick note, would I still be obliged to ring my manager every day during my sick leave? I guess it will depend on policy etc. But hoping not

It’s hard to do but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. No, the dr will sign you off for a defined period eg 1 or 2 weeks. When that period is nearing its end, you would review with GP to discuss how you are, if it needs extending or if you could return to work. You then update employer.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 10:28

Lighttodark · 11/02/2025 09:22

Yes take sick leave. If you don’t, once you leave, you will be broken and left to pick up the pieces and they won’t be giving you a second thought. Will you be well enough to even take on your new role if you don’t put yourself first now? The world thrives on making ppl feel like they have to overwork to be enough. For 29k a year? No chance.

Thank you. Just trying to get the courage to do it.. if I get a sick note, would I still be obliged to ring my manager every day during my sick leave? I guess it will depend on policy etc. But hoping not

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Lighttodark · 11/02/2025 09:22

Yes take sick leave. If you don’t, once you leave, you will be broken and left to pick up the pieces and they won’t be giving you a second thought. Will you be well enough to even take on your new role if you don’t put yourself first now? The world thrives on making ppl feel like they have to overwork to be enough. For 29k a year? No chance.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 09:20

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 11/02/2025 09:18

I'd talk to the doctor - if they think you should be signed off then you probably should be signed off. If not, just try to focus on the fact that it will soon be over.

Thank you, I should do. My DBS is stuck at stage 2 which is annoying as it should be a straightforward one but not much I can do..

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moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 11/02/2025 09:18

I'd talk to the doctor - if they think you should be signed off then you probably should be signed off. If not, just try to focus on the fact that it will soon be over.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 09:07

I will try and stop the naps after work, I just feel so wrecked that I don't feel like making food and can't focus on watching TV even. But I will try to stop them..wondering how much time I'd need off, worried that a day or two won't make much difference.

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Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 09:06

roselilylavender · 11/02/2025 08:55

What is your training for? Have you already got the qualification? If not, can you stick it out for another fortnight to get that? Even if it's not directly relevant for your future roles, I would always question why someone left a role which leads to a qualification and doesn't have that qualification.

It doesn't lead to any qualification whatsoever sadly, it's just to become trained to do this role.

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Viviennemary · 11/02/2025 09:00

HoskinsChoice · 11/02/2025 08:57

That's possibly your problem then. If you research sleep, it will always tell you to get into a regular pattern. You're far more likely to get a better night's sleep if you power through until bedtime. Go to bed at the same time every night, (including weekends) never nap and never read/watch TV in bed so that your body associates being in bed with sleep.

That is why your night time sleep is disturbed. Take a couple of days sick.

HoskinsChoice · 11/02/2025 08:57

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 08:47

Yeah, I'm too tired most evenings so I tend to sleep and then just make tea, look after my cat, clean and watch a bit of tv. Last night I slept after work for 1 hour 45

That's possibly your problem then. If you research sleep, it will always tell you to get into a regular pattern. You're far more likely to get a better night's sleep if you power through until bedtime. Go to bed at the same time every night, (including weekends) never nap and never read/watch TV in bed so that your body associates being in bed with sleep.

roselilylavender · 11/02/2025 08:55

What is your training for? Have you already got the qualification? If not, can you stick it out for another fortnight to get that? Even if it's not directly relevant for your future roles, I would always question why someone left a role which leads to a qualification and doesn't have that qualification.

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 08:48

Demi85 · 11/02/2025 08:29

Don't forget when you do leave to give them feedback on their failings. Your manager deserves to sit through an uncomfortable exit interview and to hear some home truths.

Thank you, I will definitely provide feedback, apparently people have complained about this course in the past but feedback is just ignored.

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Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 08:47

HoskinsChoice · 11/02/2025 08:45

When you say 'I come from work and nap', do you mean you have a sleep then get up again?

Yeah, I'm too tired most evenings so I tend to sleep and then just make tea, look after my cat, clean and watch a bit of tv. Last night I slept after work for 1 hour 45

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HoskinsChoice · 11/02/2025 08:45

When you say 'I come from work and nap', do you mean you have a sleep then get up again?

Demi85 · 11/02/2025 08:29

Don't forget when you do leave to give them feedback on their failings. Your manager deserves to sit through an uncomfortable exit interview and to hear some home truths.

Demi85 · 11/02/2025 08:28

OP I would take sick time. If you're sleep deprived and fatigued you're no good to anyone, least of all yourself. If you drive to work I would argue that in your current state you would be a danger to yourself and other road users. You owe it to yourself and your mental health to take the time, you've certainly earned it with all the unpaid overtime!

Allthewayinbatterycity · 11/02/2025 08:22

Thank you.
They aren't yet aware I'm leaving, but once I have the 'official' job offer and start date I will. Fortunately I've passed probation but I've been told my training could be extended by a further few months if I don't meet the required standard. However as you say since I'm leaving, hopefully it won't matter.

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