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Original poster

Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

443 replies

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:26

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

OP posts:
Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 16:17

SouthLondonMum22 · 12/02/2025 15:43

Then I must be broken because I've never had an instinct to kiss mine on faces/mouths.

I fail to see how it's only a bonding experience if you kiss them on the face/mouth. From the reaction of mine when they get kisses on their head, tummy etc they don't seem to agree.

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You are extremely unusual if you've never had an urge to kiss your baby on the face. Very rare.

SouthLondonMum22 · 12/02/2025 15:43

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:12

Quite a lot to a baby! There is a reason we have instincts to kiss on faces/mouths. It's a bonding experience. It releases seratonin and oxytocin. The baby will not experience a head kiss in the same way at all.

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Then I must be broken because I've never had an instinct to kiss mine on faces/mouths.

I fail to see how it's only a bonding experience if you kiss them on the face/mouth. From the reaction of mine when they get kisses on their head, tummy etc they don't seem to agree.

BusyExpert · 12/02/2025 14:54

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

that is abnormal for you as a family not to have kissed the baby and you are overreacting to your friend.

Do you have OCD?

If its any comfort the healthiest babies with the strongest immune systems are those exposed to normal bacteria.. Of course that does not mean people with a streaming cold or a bad cough kissing your baby, but otherwise its fine.

mumof1x99 · 12/02/2025 14:45

You're being absolutely ridiculous

PenguinLover24 · 12/02/2025 09:44

Agapornis · 11/02/2025 13:55

If you don't have an active cold sore, you can't transmit the virus.

If you don't expose your baby to anything, how on earth can she build up resistance?! An immune system needs something to learn to fight against.

You can transmit the virus even without an active cold sore as the virus can lie dormant on the skin.

Ghostofallnightmares · 12/02/2025 07:01

Get a grip is what you should do.

WonderingAboutThus · 12/02/2025 06:54

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:12

Quite a lot to a baby! There is a reason we have instincts to kiss on faces/mouths. It's a bonding experience. It releases seratonin and oxytocin. The baby will not experience a head kiss in the same way at all.

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Exactly.

The reason that kisses on the face are less hygienic is the same reason that they are better for the baby.

You're SUPPOSED to get all close and gross, if you will.

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:12

SouthLondonMum22 · 12/02/2025 06:01

OP kisses her baby on the top of the head. What's the difference between a head kiss and a cheek kiss that makes it so very sad?

I just don't get it.

Show quote history

Quite a lot to a baby! There is a reason we have instincts to kiss on faces/mouths. It's a bonding experience. It releases seratonin and oxytocin. The baby will not experience a head kiss in the same way at all.

SouthLondonMum22 · 12/02/2025 06:01

Waffle19 · 12/02/2025 03:55

Oh OP this is so sad. You will never get this time back with your baby, they will never be so little again. Give them a kiss!

Have I kissed other people’s babies? Yes I kissed my niece when she was tiny, I know I shouldn’t have and I felt bad after but it was just a human instinctive reaction! I cannot believe none of you have kissed your poor baby on the face.

OP kisses her baby on the top of the head. What's the difference between a head kiss and a cheek kiss that makes it so very sad?

I just don't get it.

Waffle19 · 12/02/2025 03:55

Oh OP this is so sad. You will never get this time back with your baby, they will never be so little again. Give them a kiss!

Have I kissed other people’s babies? Yes I kissed my niece when she was tiny, I know I shouldn’t have and I felt bad after but it was just a human instinctive reaction! I cannot believe none of you have kissed your poor baby on the face.

discdiscsnap · 11/02/2025 22:42

I kiss my niece on the top of the head. I've never kissed any other babies except my own.

I wouldn't be keen on a cheek kiss, it's completely unnecessary.

Mil use to kiss dds hands that did my head in as it's far more unhygienic.

I agree with a previous poster just a gentle request citing immune system as a reason.

Justalittlehandhold · 11/02/2025 22:13

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/02/2025 22:11

OP very clearly states that she has never kissed her baby ON THE FACE.

I'm not sure why people keep dramatically leaving off the last part and acting like OP doesn't kiss her baby at all.

It's bizarre.

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But only if she gives them cheeks a squeeze first!

Wordsmithery · 11/02/2025 22:11

OP, speak to your GP about your anxiety as this is far from normal. I believe that if you can relax you'll enjoy your baby far more - and enjoy kissing her lovely soft baby face.

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/02/2025 22:11

Muddledandmiddle · 11/02/2025 21:55

You’ve never kissed your baby? 😮

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OP very clearly states that she has never kissed her baby ON THE FACE.

I'm not sure why people keep dramatically leaving off the last part and acting like OP doesn't kiss her baby at all.

It's bizarre.

Icanflyhigh · 11/02/2025 22:10

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Yes I have!

My nieces and nephews, my godchildren, friends babies.
They all get a snuggle.

Sorry but you are odd to find this weird and even odder that you admit to not having kissed your own baby.

Batshit madness.

Rubyupbeat · 11/02/2025 22:05

Absolutely 💯 bonkers!
It just gets worse on here!

Screamingabdabz · 11/02/2025 21:57

Jeez I feel for this kid unless you get your anxiety under control. Babies should be kissed.

Muddledandmiddle · 11/02/2025 21:55

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

You’ve never kissed your baby? 😮

skyana · 11/02/2025 21:54

It's a you problem op. What a mad wild reaction.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 11/02/2025 21:42

One of the saddest things re attention I saw was a dear little toddler at a park trying to show his or her older dad some pretty fallen leaves-🍂 🍁 - the dad was just glued to his phone. The little one was trying so hard to get Dad's attention. Then the little one wandered off with their Ball - Dad still head down in phone.

That's made me tear up. Poor child.

surreygirl1987 · 11/02/2025 21:41

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

Whhaaat?! Why on earth not?!

ERthree · 11/02/2025 21:19

What the hell has gone wrong in society when even parents won't kiss their babies face? Screwed up world.

LostittoBostik · 11/02/2025 19:48

MDoes your DH kiss your baby? It's no different.

Did the friend have active cold sores at the time? Otherwise i cannot understand why you're so upset

User79853257976 · 11/02/2025 19:46

tillytown · 11/02/2025 19:01

Op is the one with herpes though, not the friend, so why would she be worried about her friend or other family members kissing the baby?

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Because people don’t always know they’ve got it.

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/02/2025 19:12

BluebellsRinging · 11/02/2025 16:59

Yes it’s unusual and really fucking weird

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I think it's far more weird for multiple pp's to act like OP doesn't kiss her baby at all when she has made it perfectly clear that she does.

The baby gets kisses and affection. Why does it matter if it's on the top of the head as opposed to the cheek? A kiss is a kiss.

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