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Original poster

Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

443 replies

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:26

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

OP posts:
AyrnotAir · 11/02/2025 06:48

You need help for your severe health anxiety. Absolutely not normal no one's ever kissed your baby in your immediate family. The baby is four months old now, not a tiny newborn. I'd understand not kissing on the mouth but kissing a cheek is fine.

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 11/02/2025 06:48

Gosh, my baby must be younger than that because they haven’t had all the vaccines yet and I’ve stopped counting in weeks! I’m sorry that’s ridiculously precious for a second born. Have you not got a toddler coming home from preschool and bringing all manner of germs into the house?

Zanatdy · 11/02/2025 06:48

So many people kissed my babies on the cheek and head, I didn’t think anything of it. I wouldn’t kiss a baby now though as I see so many people on here who dislike it so much and don’t want to offend anyone, but I saw it as a good thing my friends loved my baby. Wiping it off reminds me of when I was in school and boys would chase you and kiss you, and we would all wipe it off. With kindness, you’re over reacting.

Galdownunder · 11/02/2025 06:48

#fakenews

WashYourDamnRice · 11/02/2025 06:48

If this is real then you need therapy. It's not healthy.

Completelyjo · 11/02/2025 06:45

You having cold sores is not the same as “we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.” Honestly that’s just so crazy and so sad.
Instagram doctors need to be banned imo.

LadeedahYadaYada · 11/02/2025 06:45

Oh dear

ACR7 · 11/02/2025 06:45

I have never heard of no kisses at all. I had a baby last year and we don’t do kisses on the mouth but everywhere else was absolutely fine for both us and others. It’s almost instinctive to give a baby a little kiss

LostMyLanyard · 11/02/2025 06:44

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Yes...as have most people! Because most people aren't irrational. Your behaviour IS irrational. You need support for this.

Hercisback1 · 11/02/2025 06:44

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Yes I have kissed other people's babies. It's normal.

Theresacatinmykitchenwhatamigonnado · 11/02/2025 06:44

I'd be more concerned about the effect of not showing a child affection. Who the fuck kisses their baby's feet but not their face? If you don't want your friend kissing your baby, that's also weird, but your baby, your decision. But to not kiss your own child is actually quite worrying and I can't decide if you are really mentally unwell or just really unkind.

NearlyThere2025 · 11/02/2025 06:43

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:38

I have anxiety about germs as my older DC used to fall sick a lot and landed in hospital a few times. I feel quite worried due to those experiences. Also, I tend to get cold sores, hence I haven't kissed my baby yet. I saw some videos from doctors on Instagram about the risks to young babies due to kissing hence I don't kiss her on face, we kiss her on her head or feet. She is very much loved by us.

I just checked the NHS website and regarding the Coldsore virus they are most at risk within the first 4 weeks

She's going to be crawling soon OP and putting everything and anything in her mouth,

Visit the GP and explain how your feeling, it's really common and they will be able to offer the right support.

I was extremely anxious after my last DC and it really spoilt what should of been a lovely time.

If it was a real threat everyone here would be saying so and would have horror stories to follow, The fact no one has is something to think about x

Original poster
Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

OP posts:
andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 11/02/2025 06:42

You need some help for your anxiety.

Original poster
Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:39

TheChippendenSpook · 11/02/2025 06:37

Exactly! These type of threads pop up every so often and it has become boring now.

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It's not a joke post, I am just a worried mum.

OP posts:
CuriousGeorge80 · 11/02/2025 06:39

Yes, I'm totally sure this is a true post OP 👍

Original poster
Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:38

I have anxiety about germs as my older DC used to fall sick a lot and landed in hospital a few times. I feel quite worried due to those experiences. Also, I tend to get cold sores, hence I haven't kissed my baby yet. I saw some videos from doctors on Instagram about the risks to young babies due to kissing hence I don't kiss her on face, we kiss her on her head or feet. She is very much loved by us.

OP posts:
TheChippendenSpook · 11/02/2025 06:37

Fleetheart · 11/02/2025 06:34

you need to calm down. surely this is a joke post?

Exactly! These type of threads pop up every so often and it has become boring now.

NotsosunnyShropshire · 11/02/2025 06:36

Not giving your own baby kisses is very sad imo. Your friend giving your 4 month old baby a kiss on the cheek is fine. Lovely even. As long as she isn’t ill or has a cold sore obviously.

Please shower your baby with kisses and hugs and show them that they are loved.

Consider speaking to your GP about your anxiety. You can get help for this.

malificent7 · 11/02/2025 06:36

The thing is op babies need to be exposed to germs to strengthen their immune system and the more love the better. I don't think your reaction is rational.

Completelyjo · 11/02/2025 06:35

Pleaseletmegohome · 11/02/2025 06:34

I do think it’s a bit… odd, especially the fact you’ve not kissed your own baby on the face. I find that sad.

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I think that’s how you know the OP is coming at this from extreme health anxiety rather than normal common sense.
To not kiss your own baby!

Hercisback1 · 11/02/2025 06:35

Huh?

You haven't kissed your own baby? That's bonkers.

Yazzi · 11/02/2025 06:35

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:33

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

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To be clear, not letting a close friend who isn't poorly kiss a four month old baby does NOT improve the baby's wellbeing. You should speak to a GP about it. Your baby your rules- but these rules are about irrational anxieties, not baby wellbeing.

namechangeGOT · 11/02/2025 06:34

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

@Lurkinmn But, you're not prioritising her well-being. You're prioritising your anxiety around germs. Your baby is 16 weeks old, not newborn. Kisses on their little face are absolutely fine.

Pleaseletmegohome · 11/02/2025 06:34

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:33

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

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I do think it’s a bit… odd, especially the fact you’ve not kissed your own baby on the face. I find that sad.

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