Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

Again another patronising response!! Might not be normal to you but as stated she doesn’t feel comfortable kissing her baby as she suffers with cold sores. As I’ve just said to another poster what’s not normal is other grown ups on a site telling a worried mum she’s not normal, bonkers, weird etc. if you don’t agree that’s fine but there’s nicer ways of putting it!

Yes, we kiss babies in our family as we are completely normal and not batshit crazy.

Get off instagram it's doing you no good.

See your GP for help with your anxiety, poor kids being brought up by a raging bag of nerves.

Wait… no one in your actual family has ever kissed your own child?? This is definitely not normal unless you have all been unwell for the entire 4 months! It’s fine that your friend kissed your baby. Unless she was definitely sick or has some other contagious issue, it’s very normal to kiss a baby that you know well. It’s mostly newborn babies we should avoid kissing as they haven’t had vaccinations yet and don’t cope well with illnesses.

This.. what a terrible shame. If this is real

Didn’t expect the first post I read this morning to be this weird 🤣
You need help.

OP I understand what you are saying. With my first I went through a bit of a phase of being convinced I'd kiss her and she'd catch the cold sore virus and die. As you can tell I spent way too much time on Social Media which had a lovely habit of feeding me more and more horrible stories of babies getting really poorly or passing away from the herpes simplex virus.

However, rationally there were a few things that helped me to remind myself of whenever I had those thoughts.

1. There was no way in the world I'd ever be able to not tell I was getting a cold sore. You're only really contagious at the point of a tingle onwards.
2. I never kiss my babies on the mouth (and would never want anyone else to either)
3. Everyone with a close enough bond with my baby to potentially kiss them I've had conversations about how the cold sore virus is really dangerous for young babies.

At 4 months your little one will have a decent bit of immunity by now. Please start kissing that babies gorgeous little cheeks and forehead. Some of the best giggles and core memories of my first was when she would giggle her head of when I'd kiss all round her face.

She’s clearly stated she suffers with cold sores and doesn’t feel comfortable kissing the baby on the face, cold sores can make little ones really poorly.
whats not normal is other grown ups on here telling a mother how she parents is not normal, bonkers, weird. Ffs where’s the support? Even if people don’t agree there’s no need to be so cold and patronising!!!

Your baby is not benefiting from your spitfree approach. Can't believe the poor thing isn't getting kisses from her own family. Spit is how babies figure out who belongs to their own family.
(Weird as hell but Google it.)

If you don't want your visitors to kiss a 4-month-old, tell them, but don't expect them to guess it.

Is this even real? Poor little baby, imagine depriving them and yourself of kisses! Unless she had a cold sore or was unwell then isn't it better they build up their immune systems? I come from a huge very kissy family

Ironic your accusing the OP of being unkind with how venomous your post is 🙄

And she hasn't said she doesn't show the baby any affection what are you making stuff up for? Dya know how weird you look making things up and them getting angry about the thing you've made up?

You need to start kissing your baby. My goodness. Just avoid her mouth!

She really does. Not kissing your own four month old baby once through fear of germs is not normal!

Good one 😂

The only reason, I wouldn't kiss a baby, particularly my own, was if I was ill.

@Lurkinmn you need to see someone about your anxiety. Not having kissed your own 16 week baby on the face is very strange. I am assuming they are otherwise healthy? Babies do need to build up their immunity as well, particularly the normal/ harmless germs their mum has.

I am sorry about your older child. Do you think they got ill from other people kissing them? What illness did they get? Maybe we could reassure you if you are willing to share.

@Loup19863 she hasn’t kissed her own baby.

That is not normal behaviour.

Your anxiety and behaviour around your baby is really not normal @Lurkinmn. Kissing is good for babies, especially a mother's kisses. You won't harm her by kissing her face, she's about to start shoving everything in her mouth.

She doesn’t have severe health anxiety, people like you are so patronising! She’s well within her rights to not want other peoples mouths on her baby’s face whilst it’s still so young. Yes it is completely normal, not everyone parents the same, stop making out there is something wrong with this mum all because she doesn’t want people’s mouths all over her baby’s face!!! Such patronising know it alls on here!

This is such odd behaviour, it is really hard to believe it is a serious post.

How can you not kiss a baby, unless you have something contagious they'll be fine. It's good for their immune system and development.

I understand that you are worried about germs and disease, that's natural. But kissing babies is instinctual and normal. If your baby does pick up normal bacteria (I mean that your friend isn't ill but is out in the world and not sterile), you can protect your baby from those by even more kissing! If you are breastfeeding, kissing your baby can help you produce the right antibodies in your milk. Here's a quote I found which explains it, but there is plenty of I formation to be found.

"When a mother kisses her baby, she samples the pathogens on her baby's face, which then travel to the mom's lymphatic system. The mother's body then creates the antibodies to fight those pathogens, which she feeds to her baby in her milk"

I kissed my baby’s face as soon as she was handed to me. Am pretty sure a friend kissed her the next day. Let your toddler kiss baby all over at least, and see a GP about your anxiety.

I understand about the coldsore risk. But your DH hasn’t kissed your baby either? I do find that quite sad, I used to kiss my babies all the time. They are all grown up now, 30’s, 20’s and late teens. Trust me before long they don’t want mum and dad kissing them. As long as you don’t have an active coldsore you can kiss your baby.

Honestly, your baby is going to get exposed to a whole load more germs when they start crawling around, picking up and putting random things in their mouth. A random kiss will seem so minor.
"You can't wrap them in cotton wool" seems the most appropriate expression here

Don't fall out with your friend over it- absolutely no harm done

Sounds like you've been listening to too many of those stupid tiktok mums who think visitors shouldn't dare look at the baby and should only come to cook and clean.

Some of these replies are just heartless!!
i completely understand where you’re coming from and why you don’t want people to kiss your baby! I was the same with my little one, I didn’t want people kissing him when he was so little or until I felt ready but I wasn’t scared to tell family and friends that. If they don’t like it tough, your baby your rules, and completely agree regarding the cold sore virus, maybe people on here should look into ‘don’t kiss the baby’ instead of telling a worried mum she’s bonkers or weird. I was also very anxious and over health etc and it does get easier in time, sending a hug from one mum to another, just don’t be scared to tell people ‘please don’t kiss my baby’ xx