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Original poster

Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

443 replies

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:26

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

OP posts:
emmetgirl · 11/02/2025 09:24

Get some therapy.
You sound massively over anxious.
In the kindest way, you need help lovely.

Sahara123 · 11/02/2025 09:24

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

This is really sad .

Nanny0gg · 11/02/2025 09:23

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Yes I have.

And on the cheek too

Nanny0gg · 11/02/2025 09:22

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

You haven't either??

Lmnop22 · 11/02/2025 09:20

I think I kissed both my babies’ faces approximately 50 times a day since the moment they were born! And they’re a very healthy 5 and 1 currently 😂

You’re allowing your phobia to ruin your experience of your baby!

OliveTree75 · 11/02/2025 09:19

This is insane. Your baby is not a newborn and you are overreacting!

Coffeeandcake32 · 11/02/2025 09:18

I find it really hard to believe no one has kissed your baby before on the face, it is instinctive to do so as parents especially. As for this post I really think you need to relax, I understand not wanting kisses on the mouth but what harm can come to the cheek?

Balloonhearts · 11/02/2025 09:18

I don't think I have any friends who haven't kissed one or all of my kids as babies. We certainly don't ask permission to pick each others kids up, just do it. If one of them cries, whoever is closest just scoops them up and comforts them.

This level of paranoia is insane.

I8toys · 11/02/2025 09:16

If you've got a older one they're going to bringing germs back. Unless you wrap that one in cotton wool too. Can't keep them germ free forever.

User12435687 · 11/02/2025 09:16

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

Gosh that makes me really sad. Stay away from Instagram and listen to your instincts. Your friend instinctually kissed the baby, it's built into us to do so. To actively avoid that is worrying.

BollickyBill · 11/02/2025 09:16

Christ on a bike 🙄

Bamboozledbylife · 11/02/2025 09:15

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Absolutely I have 🤣

WestwardHo1 · 11/02/2025 09:10

Would you know to feel upset if you hadn't read about it previously on MN?

Bamboozledbylife · 11/02/2025 09:10

You've not kissed your own baby? Wtf.... You are very unreasonable....

ClairDeLaLune · 11/02/2025 09:10

That’s so sad you haven’t kissed your baby 😔 Poor baby.

You need to get therapy for your anxiety sorry OP. It’s good for babies to be exposed to germs, it builds up their immune systems.

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 11/02/2025 09:09

How you want people to handle your baby is entirely up to you. You don't have to explain to anyone. Perhaps you could even send people a text before they get to your home that you don't like people to kiss the baby. People might find it strange, but so what?

I remember being outraged when a friend would have us all wash our hands before holding her baby. That was many decades before COVID. Nowadays I would wash my hands anyway before holding a vulnerable baby and, no, I would not kiss my friend's baby - although it is always tempting to do so because babies are designed to inspire feelings of love and care.

I hope you don't get too much flack for this, OP.

Swonderful · 11/02/2025 09:09

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

I would be worried the baby is missing out from not being kissed. Those early weeks and months are formative.

CherryPopShowerGel · 11/02/2025 09:09

YANBU OP. Kissing is a very intimate thing, and as new parents most of us are pretty on top of wanting to protect our baby from any kind of harm. Personally I would have found it really odd for someone else other than us as the baby's parents to kiss them. It feels very personal and then there's the concern about germs, colds, potential cold sores etc.

It's totally fine others are more chilled about it and wouldn't bat an eyelid, and it's totally fine for this to have upset you. Moving forward I think it's a good idea to say to people before handing the baby to them 'they haven't had all their vaccines yet so no kisses' or however you want to say it. I understand on this occasion it didn't enter your mind this friend would even think to do it so you had no reason to say anything. I'd have been really surprised too.

Be kind to yourself.

MaloryJones · 11/02/2025 09:04

Ffs

Lulabellez · 11/02/2025 09:03

She’s not a new born. You seriously don’t want to pass on these anxieties to children. Your eldest child must be picking up on this by now, especially if you’re overreacting to germs around baby.

Bogginsthe3rd · 11/02/2025 09:03

OP you should probably make an appointment with your GP following this.

To discuss your health anxiety.

Chachacha1 · 11/02/2025 09:03

Hi OP,

it sounds to me like you’ve taken the guidelines and advice but then taken it out of context. Unless your baby was very premature/ has a specific health condition meaning that their immune system is particularly vulnerable this is really quite over the top. Some people choose to do this with a newborn (which is sensible for a couple of weeks PP) but your baby is not a newborn any more. I think rather than trying to control the amount of germs your baby is exposed to (as you just can’t, especially given their age and that you have another older child already), you need to work on managing the anxiety now. Don’t underestimate the impact your own anxiety will have on your child.

Viviennemary · 11/02/2025 09:01

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:33

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

Show quote history

You need counselling for your germ phobia.

OhHellolittleone · 11/02/2025 09:01

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

I get not on the lips, but not smooched their cheeks. Your baby will be fine so long as you aren’t ill.

niadainud · 11/02/2025 09:00

What you should do is start saving for the baby's therapy.