Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

I've done it!

😆

I've seen it happen. 😂

It's not ideal.
Definitely longer strands are easier to eat.

STOP 😂

They probably chop it all up small with a knife and fork, mix it all in with the sauce and scoop it up with a dessert spoon.

That is really taking cooking seriously.

There is probably a Mumsnet thread by her about it..

''I was dumped by my Italian Boyfriend simply because I snapped spaghetti so it would fit into my small pan of boiling water.
He caught me in the act.''

AIBU?''

But how do you eat such short strands of spaghetti?! Does it not just fall off the fork?

“It’s the height of bad manners to comment on someone’s food” on repeat. I’d also be talking to my son about it- if your son not mortified! I’d be mortified if a boyf of mine spoke to my parents that way! I’m cringing thinking about it!

As a guest there is no way you should criticise your host's cooking skills and culture.

But... I'd definitely be offering to cook you something from scratch or going to eat elsewhere or want to stay elsewhere if you kept offering jar and packet based meals and baked potatoes with no veg.

It's so easy to make a pasta sauce from scratch and to serve veg with every meal. One of the things I loved about DH was his MIL's cooking. My DM is not a cook by any means but she would make such an effort when DH came to stay.

I wondered what a Spaghetti snapper is..

OOPS! Guilty as charged...
Mum {a very good cook} eases it gently into a pan of boiling water- but I snap it in two so it fits in the pan.

I won't do this any longer though!

Public Displays of Affection, oh right, of course, sorry.

🤣🤣 But how are you twiddling teeny tiny half spaghetti pieces with your fork and spoon (for the love of god please tell me you use a spoon and twiddle your fork??)

Does she look down on you? Introduce her to some hoi polloi richer lawyer man and she'll be off. Thinks 1923 Alexandra's fiancé Arthur, or some sort of Jude Law gigilo, yuk.

In many cases as well a lot of people are only finding out through the likes of ancestry because records are/were routinely destroyed. Meaning before DNA testing became public (and even then you have to rely on your mother being in the database) people would have absolutely no way of tracking down their mother or baby. It’s unimaginably cruel and this mindset towards teenage or unmarried mothers is not uncommon IME.

Dont get me started on child sexual abuse in the priesthood.

Like I say the Italians, and I speak as one, have no right to look down on any other country

But it's sloooww 🤣

Hopefully if you do find your lost relatives, it will be ok.

Those homes sound absolutely hideous.

A baby ripped from his or her mother and put up for adoption is unbearably sad.

Thankfully the man I know who was reunited with his birth mother had the full support of his lovely adoptive parents.

It must be hard for them, too to have a child who yearns to know who their ''real'' mother was...especially as these young mothers had no choice in the matter.

They weren't supported to look after their babies, and as you say, the ''fathers'' {sperm donors} get away scot free.

Public, not personal.

I think you need to nip this in the bud. If this girl is behaving so arrogantly at this early stage in the relationship with your son can you imagine how rude she will be in another 5 years if they stay together? Call her out on it and tell her that her comments are xenophobic and downright offensive. Most people are usually making an effort with their boyfriend's family and friends when they first meet.

@oakleaffy Yeah I had a Italian friend who's parents got full custody of her daughter.

And no, as someone who lived with this woman in the past, I can see no reasonable grounds of how they achieved that. They refused her even basic access, so she moved to Russia and I've lost contact, although I'm trying to track her down as I'm a genuine friend.

Hopefully she’ll be one in a long line before he finds a nice girl. Me are stupid when it comes to attractive women. And also you have a DH problem. It is not ok that he’s allowing you and your DDs to be so disrespected in your own home

My husband is Portuguese so I visit there every 18ontjs or so. Most of the young women (under 30) are conventionally slim but the majority of older married women are grey and fat. Remind her of what she’ll look like thanks to her genetics 🤣

She sounds really unpleasant. I've definitely met similar people who critique British people in this way. However, I avoided them shortly after, which I appreciate isn't a realistic option for you.

I actually feel a huge amount of pride that British women do not feel (as much) pressure to be beautiful, thin, perform femininity etc, as many women do in other countries. I had an ex from Romania who was constantly comparing British women to Romanian, and it often made me feel sad for Romanian women that the beauty standards were so high and so engrained. I think the fact your son's girlfriend is even noticing these things, means that she's likely been trained from a young age to value beauty disproportionately.

I would explain to her, once, that culturally, we are not happy with comments on people's appearances, nor comments on what people eat. If she proceeds to break that cultural norm, then she at least knows.

Sounds like husband fancies her for himself.

That’s horrifically sad. I keep meaning to do my family tree on Ancestry because I know that there are some adopted out babies from family members over the years that We Don’t Talk About. I’d like to know they’re ok.

And don’t get me started on those vile homes. I have a real love hate relationship with my culture (and have renounced my Catholicism entirely) there’s so much cultural misogyny, and I feel much safer as a woman in the U.K.