Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

Sounds hideous. Your son will probably get fed up with her eventually so you probably just need to ride it out for a couple more weeks. If you make a big deal of it you might push him away, which I don't think you want. She's a phase, and probably quite exciting, he'll eventually likely settle down with someone more like him. Just bite your lip and leave the room where necessary.

Fair play then. If this is the case the OP needs to tell her every single time that she didn't ask for her opinion, who died and made her the arbiter of taste, etc. Given that she's dependent on someone else's generosity she should really rein it in.

My guess this is partially her showing off, but it'd drive me nuts too.

Call her out on it op. Maybe she has issues herself with weight. I would just say I’ve heard you say that this a lot. I can’t say I agree. Have you seen x in this film - beautiful. Also in my house I tend to go down the be kind route instead of criticising others, particularly with teens in the house. Was your upbringing different? See how she responds. Then if it carries on I would be quicker to say something to shut it down. Your husbands point that your son is British is quite poignant.

Wow she is very rude for making those comments. She is old enough to know better tbh. Also I don’t buy the cultural aspect, it’s just plain rude! You don’t stay at someone’s home to behave like that! Surely an adult knows they need to be on their best manners when they’re a guest. Also, the PDA when you’re speaking to them is unbelievably rude! Surely they can stop pda whilst you’re trying to talk to them? Unbelievable behaviour. YANBU.

My mum still does!

1. Sounds like she is very insecure so points out negative things to make herself feel better.
2. Perhaps she is here to provide an opportunity for you to build your self-esteem so that no matter what she says or does she hasn't got any power to make you feel bad.
3. Ignore the PDA stuff - it'll wear out with time.

A lot of it does sound rude, but i guess some nationalities are more honest I guess, us Brits are quite reserved. My son’s gf is so sweet, to me anyway, I know from my ex that my son confided in him that they’d been arguing a lot at times and a lot of is to because of how her family treat her). She is a very polite girl, if I ever meet her parents I will compliment her manners as she never fails to bring a gift when she stays over and thanks me for letting her stay.

My ex was a bit uncomfortable with their PDA, so told him to tone it down! I never seen anything I considered too much.

Not much you can do really but ride it out. The bolognaise comment I can kind of understand, but still very rude of her to say it out loud. Hopefully they will split before next time they are due to visit

Maybe but she's not in Italy, she needs to learn cultural norms in the UK. One of them is not insulting your host! When in Rome...😀

Some cultures are just more expressive/opinionated than others.

And the elephant in the room is that, on average, UK women are heavier than their Italian counterparts and I think most people would find Italians more attractive as well.

Op time to put your big girl pants on and get tough. Call her out on it THERE AND THEN every time.
"We don't make rude comments about other people's bodies in this house, thank you'
' if you don't like the food you're more than welcome to cook for us all or eat out' im a stern but smily face.
She'll soon get the hint, if not at the very least she'll look like an arsehole.
You need to start modelling boundaries in front of both DS and DDs

@JandamiHash I've never seen Europeans serve pasta with a hole in the middle for the sauce to be served in. My mum used to do that in the 1970s though 😂

She sounds like an attention seeking bitch. Does she think she’s little miss perfect or something?

Following my previous reply - I also agree with this. You need to prioritise your teens OP, not your son who apparently doesn't feel it's necessary to stick up for his own mum!

Don't set an example to your children that it's ok to be a doormat - even if its family trying to treat you as one. Your son and his girlfriend know how you feel now, they can't claim they had no idea they were offending/upsetting you, if they won't pack it in they have no one to blame but themselves when you ask them to take it elsewhere.

Their finances or lack thereof are not your problem and might perhaps be a much needed lesson on conducting themselves with some grace and showing some respect in the future.

She needs to learn that you can think certain things but you don't have to say them. (I didn't even know you could get jarred pasta sauce with preservatives in them).

Ask him if he would tolerate this behaviour from an ugly middle aged woman

This!

Your problem isn't with her, it's with your son. He is allowing her to come into his family home and insult not only you and your kids, but your extended family and friends. He is the issue here, he sounds pathetic tbh

This thread seems to have gone off on a very strange tangent that isn't particularly helpful to OP.

OP - Honestly regardless of absolutely anything else, you must put a stop to the comments regarding "fatness" in front of your teenage daughters. It really doesn't matter which country is "fatter" or what causes obesity. Nobody on this thread is too ignorant to realise the damage these topics can do to teenagers if not handled sensitively. Shame on your husband for prioritising a newly minted girlfriend over his own children when they're at such an impressionable age, I sincerely hope at some point soon he realises how appalling it is that he's happy to expose them to this behaviour in their own home just to avoid having to grow a spine and defend his family - because she's pretty. How vile.

I'd suggest you work on your disgusted/unimpressed facial expression and simply do not respond to her when she makes comments on food etc. You're not being precious - it'd be one thing if she was a friend - she's a guest in your home and a guest of a particular kind that should be showing you respect. Don't cook for them and don't engage with it. However, if comments are made about body image - I'd say you should seriously consider being sharp. Ask her who she thinks she's talking to and that you won't have this conversation again in your house. She knows how you feel about it all and she's carrying on anyway because she thinks you won't bite back.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation - goodness knows it's understandable why your son is a bit blinkered at the moment based on your husbands reaction to it all.

I’m not Italian but I agree about the jars of sauce, they're awful.
It takes only a little longer to make a good tomato sauce from scratch.
Tastes far better too. Mutti tomatoes are the best btw.

As for the pda you have to be blunt and tell them to knock it off.

Maybe you could have a bit of a chat with her? Tell her that you like her and you're glad your son has found someone who makes him happy, but flat out tell you find the constant negative opinions on everything really condescending.. you wouldn't go to her house and criticise what she eats and drinks or how she lives her life.. so why does she think it is acceptable to do it while she is a guest in someone's house? No need to get angry or confront her or anything, just tell her matter of factly that you aren't interested in her unsolicited opinions on things that are none of her business.

You could even teach her the good old 'if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

You could give as good as you get and bite back at everything but there's no point, they are only around a limited time, and you don't want their stay to be horrible, but in the same breath you don't have to tolerate bullshit from people. If she carries on after the chat just roll your eyes and walk away from her mid-sentence.. life's too short to be forced to listen to opinionated arseholes all day.

Any opinion she has about the public at large just let it wash over you as the ramblings of someone who needs to criticise other people to make herself feel superior, it also sounds like she needs constant reassurance which is where the PDA is coming from.. she may be the dogs bollocks in the looks department, but without any empathy, kindness and compassion, and with a constant need for validation she is pretty empty on the inside bless her, try not to take what she says personally unless she is specifically talking about you, she'll be gone soon.

I hate it when people say 'Oh it's just cultural' as an excuse for being rude and bad mannered.

I wonder if the people on this thread who are defending this girl's passionate rude lewd Italian "culture" were quite so keen on sticking up for Gino Di Campo over the last few days. Double standards.

I can’t cope with the amount of you who are snappers. It’s the Italian equivalent of putting milk in your mug first.

Also I am rather anti pasta sauce. Pasta is better with hardly any sauce IMO.

Tasty and simple recipe: Put a shit load of tomatoes in a frying pan with a fuckload of your favourite herbs and spices, garlic, chilli’s, etc and throw in some stuff that oozes some sort of liquid (not chicken though if you take my advice) - my favourite is prawns and chorizo. Lots of flavoursome oily goodness coming out of everything.

Cook pasta properly! Or I will hunt you down, I will find you…and I will kill you.

Spoon the Spaghetti all lovely and circular on the plate, with a hole in the middle, where you put your mix. Sprinkle with chopped chives. I guess you could add Parmesan if you hate yourself but I recommend not to.

Delicious. Make it OP and don’t offer little miss any because she hates British cooking so much

I live in Japan - we use chopsticks 🤣.

I remember saying something to an Italian once here about food and she replied - "spaghetti in a sweet tomato sauce in the same box (bento) as rice and fried chicken, imagine my surprise as an Italian"

Oakleafy no more spaghetti 🍝 kiss!

I’m 5000% with you on this one 😭😳