Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

And she's only been there a week!

My ex and his family used to love scoffing British woman. Saying we were all fat (I was a size 6), promiscuous, shit cooks and not good housewives.

I remember once being shown photos of woman from their country saying ‘look how beautiful they are compared to British woman!’ I pointed out they all had obvious facial plastic surgery and fillers so it wasn’t really a fair comparison.

The utter cheek of some people. If we behaved like that regarding them we would be branded racists.

Spot on. If you read the OPs later post where she clarifies what the poor young woman has actually said and done, it is clear that the OP is looking to find fault and take offence.

Isn’t it more concerning why your son always has awful girlfriends?

I work closely with an Italian colleague. They are very physically affectionate with everyone (men and women!) which I hate, but I can tell it is cultural. However, they are also very polite and thoughtful, never make rude comments about individuals or Brits in general! i think that is a "her" thing, not an Italian thing!

The over overweight stats are very similar. 1 in 2 Italians are overweight. A bit higher for Brits

Agree what a great start to a pair and then so disappointing to read the rest of it

Also the obesity rates and healthy life expectancy for the rest or Europe is nothing to be proud of

See OPs further posts about the previous GFs - I don't think anyone stands a chance

“Isn’t it funny that Italian men are basically all sex offenders” (my experience)

But you don’t think it’s ridiculously rude to stand in a house with 3 British women and declare British girls and women are ugly?

Spot on! But being myself from EE I would not dare to do such comments to the host family though, that's disrespectful (even if honest).

To be fair to her the obesity rate in England is 26% of adults whilst in Italy it's 11%. It's rude of her to comment but she's not wrong about us being fat.

There isn't a GF issue here by the sounds of it
I refer to my previous post...

Im sorry to say she sounds a bit like me and my friends at uni age - thinking we knew it all. Im sure i would cringe at some of my comments

it also sounds as though you are an intelligent household that encourage open conversation and debate - and as an intelligent young person herself she is a bit too cocky among adults.

I would break this down

Commenting on fat/ugly in front of young teen girls - absolutely unacceptable - she is ignorant and young and you need to be the adult and have a quiet word

You can do this politely so she doesn't feel defensive - say - look I realise you wouldnt be thinking of this but it's really important we don't talk about 'looks' in front of teen girls etc -

The commenting on jars - just cringe behaviour from a young person without the grown up understanding that its rude.

I personally wld snap at her! but I realise how hard it is when its your sons GF.

could you say - X - we all as tired parents use these things sometimes, its rude to comment.

the pda is cringe but - thats young people, your son is in love !

Out of all the ops first post the bit that stood out for me was her saying the girlfriend was confident with I thought a slight edge to that in kind of a how dare she be confident. Reminds me of my mums saying „that girls got a lot off“ lot off meaning not apologising for existing.

she’s not wrong about the fat thing, I’m British and I say it every time we come back from the Trafford centre. I also, when in Austria last year was agog at how not fat everyone was. Agree that the ugly thing is not on nor making fat comments when children are present. But, perhaps it’s better that we don’t normalise it. I’ve currently got an extremely obese woman who keeps appearing in my instagram feed trying to convince the airline industry that they are wrong for not making seats that are double/triple the size of normal ones rather than her being the outlier.

I was just thinking the same!

It's a brave Brit who cooks pasta in front of an Italian at the best of times, so if you were pouring a jar of Dolmio over your pasta, I'm surprised she didn't have more to say! I agree with all of her opinions - too much coke, coffee (unless you genuinely have decent coffee), and jarred sauces, overweight & generally poor dress sense however she also needs to understand boundaries and cultural sensitivities and slagging off an entire nation & commenting on a host's food choices is NOT on nor are excessive PDA

If the subtle hints & 'that's quite rude" retorts aren't working, you need to have a word with your son about both & ask if he's like you to speak to his gf or will he do the honours but either way, tone is down. Make sure you tell him lots of positives about her - think shit sandwich - or he'll get defensive and just think you don't like her and finding fault.

No Italian mother would sit meekly in her own house being attacked by some girl, she'd give it to her both barrels, loudly and clearly, the girl would run bawling. And no good Italian son would sit quietly whilst his girlfriend is thrashing her mother

I was about to applaud you for this, I agree but then:

As for fat Brits and shit food, well that's the honest truth. It's not 'Italians', everyone in Europe think that. And why? Because it's the truth. I couldn't with good concience deny it, so I wouldn't call her out on it. Brits are fat, not good looking (being polite) and the food is shit. Jar sauce, countless cokes and instant coffee. And for an Italian, no less? That's just abysmal. But shit, I'm as blunt and ballsy as they come, but I wouldn't cook pasta for an Italian, that's something, hats off to you for that, OP.

What an utterly stupid assertion to make.

You think that "everyone" in Europe thinks brits are fat and ugly? And that's because we are?
Ive often thought that the Eastern Europeans around here are really unattractive, often with 20 years out of date fashion, bad makeup and sullen demeanours but I wouldn't assume that all EE's are like that.

You sound awful, and I'm willing to bet my life you wouldn't say any of that stuff out loud (unless you were amongst racists such as yourself).

Again I don’t think you can be racist and intelligent. IMO racist people are universally stupid. Depends how you define intelligence I guess. “Loud and outspoken” /= intelligence

That’s just not true. Some people perceived as very intelligent have been notoriously xenophobic and racist.

But OP I’d definitely ask her to show you how to make a really authentic Italian pasta or lasagne.

Again as someone from an Italian family, Italians aren’t idiots and know what other people find rude and dont

And I disagree that we have to just accept others peoples cultures when they’re saving thousands staying in our home. Shes in the UK, she follows our customs. End of.

I would gently say (in my most polite voice) - it is considered very rude to comment on someone's appearance in this country and certainly not something we do in this house.

Then hope and pray that they get bored of the constant PDAs and he finds someone else.

@Saggyknickers yes !!

OP, honestly the only way to do this is to also ' talk in general terms '...

Ah, ' isn't it funny how all Italians have big noses '... ( I am Italian and I have a big nose BTW!! )

' is it normal to be really arrogant in Italy ? Do you think people are more self assured there ? ' ' where do they get all that confidence ? '

' is it the done thing to criticise other countries ? '...
Etc etc etc always use ' in general '...

No that’s why I said valid points about healthy food and obesity. Reading helps