Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

being pasty is not a sign of good health either...

At the extreme, I am not sure how many cases of ricket have been found, or exist today, in Italy .

There's a balance.

Ok MIL asked what she thought of Italians and she said they were ugly.

That would be ok?

MIL asked what she thought of Italians, and she said they're very loud, speak very fast and make weird gestures when they talk.

MIL thought that was rude.

Possibly, but why asking then?

Ah. Oh dear. 😕

Extreme statement I know but just a simple google search tells you it damages your skin and can lead to skin cancer. It’s something ppl don’t want to hear

If you don't want someone's opinion, don't ASK them.
She wasn't wrong.

Is it rude to throw comments about what you are doing? Yes, but so what.

Is the son's behaviour in public rude and to be addressed? yes.

Is it sensible to sit down your 23 year old boy to tell him off IN FRONT OF HIS GIRL FRIEND? No...
Being scolded by mummy is not a good look, what positive could ever come of that?

Yep something along the lines of London being super diverse with people from all over Europe settling and becoming brits (truthful and a dig back)

Sorry but it totally is because of the chat you had. Not that I blame you, she sounds very annoying.

I’ll be honest. She sounds like some (not all) kids I have known from privileged backgrounds who are very sure of themselves and their opinions but who have not yet learned how to temper those opinions and when to keep them to themselves. I don’t think it’s anything at all to do with her being Italian, just young and a bit full of herself.

Your experience reminds me in particular of a family member whose parents had money, he was privately educated, lovely boy but at a similar age to your son's girlfriend, went through a similar phase. He was a bit sneery about other people’s appearance, accents, lifestyle choices…and I remember being very pleased we didn’t live closer. Some of it came from his parents who would joke about similar things so I couldn’t really blame him for not realising that outside of their family, some of those things are actually rude and inappropriate.

In your case, personally I would probably have just put up with her for the time she was visiting and tried to point out in a humorous way how rude she was being because I would never want my son to feel unwelcome. And ultimately, at that age they would likely choose their latest flame over their Mum for company.

It sounds like they took offence because they’re immature and have difficulty in empathising with others and they’ve gone off in a childish strop.

Think about it if it was reversed
“My daughter is visiting her Italian boyfriend’s family. Her MIL has pulled her up for talking about how ugly Italians are in general. She tried to give the MIL some advice on how to make her food better but the MIL thought it was rude. MIL is also not very happy about my daughter sitting on her boyfriend’s lap and feeding him in public”

Would everyone genuinely think an English girl doing this was ok?

OP admits she asked her for her opinion on British people. Maybe she asked about this too but isn't saying. Even her husband has said she hasn't presented a fair account of what actually happened on here!

It sounds like she was rude – the son and GF are now going to stay elsewhere for the next few days!

She really is not unless asked. She is just very very rude

“We are not famous for our cooking. Or for many things actually.“

No but English is the most spoken language in the world and countries have been influenced by much more than just our cooking ;)

Ok and OP has expressed an opinion that the PDA and unwarranted comments are making her uncomfortable in her own home. It doesn’t sound like OP was rude when she expressed this. It sounds like she was calling and polite. Why is the middle aged woman not allowed an opinion?

Again, read the comments that OP's husband insisted she post on the thread in the interests of fairness. It does not sound like the GF was rude in how she expressed her opinion, more like it was an observation. And OP has spoken her mind, with her ill-judged intervention telling them that she doesn't like them kissing in public and that she wants the GF to keep her opinions to herself.

I don't find it surprising that 18% who voted have such weak social skills that they'd see nothing wrong with telling another nationality who was hosting them that their nationality was fat and ugly and their food was shit. I'm just glad that 82% aren't so clueless. You can imagine the 18% saying "But why do we never get invited back Derek? I just don't understand it." 😀

I was with you until your latest updates @Bluebrownies. The fact that your son said ‘you never like anyone I bring home’ is quite telling. You don’t have to like them, he does. Absolutely you can point out you don’t want to hear comments about weight, looks etc (especially in front of young teens, you don’t want them getting body issues) and that you don’t need constant criticism on what you’re eating and drinking but I think by complaining about the pda was a step too far. Sitting on his lap in a pub and feeding him desert is hardly a crime, they weren’t having sex in front of you. Some cultures are more touchy feely than others. That I think you just need to get over.

I would text him and just reiterate that you don’t want them to leave. Apologise for the comments regarding them being affectionate and just state that you do like her, you’ve enjoyed getting to know her but just don’t appreciate criticism of people’s weight and looks in your home. Make it clear you do like her and are happy to have them visit again whenever they like. Otherwise I think you’ll end up pushing him away.

I know plenty of Italian and Portuguese people who are lovely. So it's not cultural. She's just a massive twat.

Not fully, no - I got bored!

It’s only a short stay, nothing permanent, so why rock the boat?

She’s a confident, sassy, good-looking Italian girl, every young man’s dream I’d imagine.

Good luck to the boy!

On contrast the quality of British grown meat, dairy and produce is very high. It's just that we aren't in general very good at cooking it.

Completely agree with this. Brits get a lot of criticism when it comes to our food but as you say, it’s not all unhealthy and we make excellent cheeses, breads, baked goods (scones, pasties, pies), puddings, stews and soups (Cullen skink is yummy!) plenty of fresh and delicious native fruits and vegetables.

I agree many Brits are shockingly overweight but you can’t tell me that every Italian is on the healthy Mediterranean diet… plenty of fat Italians!!

I dont think much to italian food either. The UK has a much wider range of food from around the world. I would have to travel for an hour to find an indian takeaway, for example.

😂

well, all you prove -apart from being addicted to take-away- is that British food is so shit we DO rely heavily on everyone else to provide decent restaurants.

I suppose you find a few places offering "afternoon tea" around the world, where people puzzle a bit over cucumber sandwiches, but UK restaurants? Not so much.

We are not famous for our cooking. Or for many things actually.

Dont be so bloody ridiculous, how dare you talk sense! Lol

But seriously why are people so defensive about something that is so true, we are an unhealthy nation and we hide behind being polite, maybe if we confronted things a bit more instead fannying around important topics there wouldnt be so many issues.

Sit on your husbands lap and feed him like a baby in public... I'm sure your son and his girlfriend would find that cute.