Older relatives not understanding WFH...

Thankfully my parents and in-laws do understand and respect that WFH is working. So much so that my MIL will literally creep about so as not to make a single sound and disturb my BIL who lives with them and has taken over their study. Wouldn’t even put the washing machine on in the utility room with 3 doors between them. They do all his errands because he “works so hard he doesn’t have time”. He rolls out of bed at 8.55am, plays Xbox in his lunch break and goes to the gym every single evening.

I do completely agree that retirement (and especially covid) has aged them massively. They’ve gone from busy professionals with 2 full time jobs, kids, elderly parents etc etc, to we can’t possibly do anything this entire week because MIL car has a MOT on Tuesday. And they have 2 cars and the garage is 5 min from their house!

This sounds so wonderful. Your Dad was a legend!

I agree with them being clueless.
I recently snapped at my mum and said I had told her the same answer 100 times. It seemed to help stop her.

Well, most people on Mumsnet who work from home seem to have loads of tome to do household tasks while working from home, so why not chatting to relatives!

How did I just miss this comment above mine???

"Working from home is not the same as proper work."

I really would love you to expand on that comment please @Viviennemary with real life examples of what proper work is and why WFH isn't that.

My DC's and their partners vary in their working hours and where they are working on site or WFH.
We maintain contact via messaging (group and individual) so voice and video calls are by arrangement. I have never wanted to call randomly as they could be driving. Does mean I can send a message when it suits me.

I have to work on site but have colleagues who work from home - some are brilliant (as a group we can see what they are doing) others not so but these are people who were not very productive on site and would often be off sick for minor things (ie single days)

What is it about being in an office that makes something 'proper work'?

My mother once told me “I’m so glad you kept working- it’s important to have a bit of pocket money for yourself”.

I was making £150k at the time.

This thread is full of ageist comments about people some of whom are probably younger than me! And I wfh as does my husband!

My family simply assume I don't even have a job because I'm freelance and have a lot of flexibility. They actually say things like "well you don't really work, do you" and "some of us have actual jobs!"

@ the poster who thinks my earlier post about taking time off work is irrelevant - her parents ask if they can see her "every school holiday" according to OP and she can't because she's working. I expect that's quite hard for her parents to hear - never being available to spend a few days with them and the children.

Not irrelevant at all.

I have DH and DC as favourite people so they can get through

Let's be honest, at the same time people who wfh also have time to do the clothes wash, nip to the gym and do mindful meditation. You probably have time to say hello to your parents.

I don’t always but sometimes I have a “Omg what if so and so is dead” moment

Switch your phone to work mode

Not the same thing but I just wanted to rant... my FIL will ring me at work (outside of the home) to ask me [non-urgent] things because he doesn't want to disturb my DH at work... um... ???

I don't think this is an issue of older people not understanding WFH, but your parents being a bit dim. Why do they keep asking the same questions when you have already explained?

and once again that is such an ageist comment.

What do you mean 🤣

My elderly mother regularly phones or texts (or both) throughout the day when I'm working. I could go in to the office but we no longer have phones on our desks and it's all open plan anyway so people overhear our phone calls to a much larger extent than they used to.
Anyway, the crux of this is that she will do this to me, while I'm at work, but my siblings (and their husbands) who by and large have reached retirement age, she wouldn't do this to, no idea why but she wouldn't. Just likes to communicate with the one person who is still holding down a full time job.

I empathise greatly with all of you who have relatives who do this...and who are STILL doing it years after the pandemic. It might have been possible (though not necessarily within the rules) during the pandemic but it's definitely not possible now.

Working from home isn't the same as proper work. So I'm with your relatives.

Well, neither my parents nor PILs have the remotest understanding of what I do for a living, and I’ve been an academic for the best part of 30 years

Mine neither. I have been self-employed for about 20 years and have always worked from home, first it was mostly internet content writing, blogging, SEO type stuff, over the years I have moved into other fields and have turned a hobby into a job.

My mum understands what an doing now better, but the SEO/internet stuff was totally over her head. Because of the nature of the work it did mean I could be really flexible and arrange working around school runs or sports days or whatever and I didn;t have the same volume of work every week. But that didn't mean that I didn't have any responsibilities and the work still had to get done!

You beat me to it!! I am in my 70's and retired now but I used to WFH for part of my job in the NHS because I had a better computer and internet connection. My job was mixed, managing teamsover several small bases and producing papers and protocols in my area of expertise. Its not age,its cluelessness!!

Luckily my parents are pretty clued up. Both my sister and I did WFH days from their house when our kids were little so mum could look after them, so my parents are aware that WFH is work and not a day off.