Older relatives not understanding WFH...

This seems to be a theme - it would explain why so many older people are so passionately against WFH, as they don’t seem to understand what it entails.

I have had a few exasperating incidents while on zoom calls over the last year or two (not just parents) - being interrupted mid-flow while presenting, walking across the background etc.

Mines always suggesting we get a train on eg a Thursday mid-morning to visit, as it’s cheaper then. Ignoring that I need to you know, be at work then.

Can you just not pick up the phone when she rings? There are people in my life where I have had to do that. I don't mean every time she rings, but if it is work hours. If you never pick up when she rings during work hours, she might eventually get the message.

I never know whether you are deliberately winding people up with your replies @Viviennemary - they are always so old fashioned and backward. Like you’re stuck in the 1950’s. 🤷‍♀️

You have my sympathy OP.
DH and I both WFH. Our friends know this. Yet still regularly turn up, without warning, on weekdays during working hours. And then I might get a comment that I seem a bit stressed. D'you think that might have something to do with having a deadline you're effing up? Kicked a friend out last week because I had a client call about to start and he was quite prepared to sit there and listen.
SILs have announced that they're coming to stay with us for a couple of weeks in the summer, hasn't even occurred to them to ask if I'll be working/able to take time off.

So yes elderly people just cannot understand at all.

My parents could. (However, they'd been teachers... DM couldn't quite get her head around my 4 then 5 holiday allowance being all the time I had off, not just the time I could actually 'go on holiday' ... it's a life experience not an age thing)

Anyway op, if you don't already have a separate work phone you need one, and set yours "to do not disturb".

Oh I hear you loud and clear on that one! My parents understood the work from home thing in that people could be at home doing what they did in the office. What they didn't understand was that I was freelance/self-employed and people would come to me and ask for me to do a project, that no two projects were the same, that I had quiet weeks and busy weeks. They just didn;t understand it, especially as I was doing "internet stuff" which they didn't get either.

My inlaws are the same - you either have a "proper job" which means having an employer and set hours irrespective of place of work, or if you are self-employed you are a plumber, hairdresser, taxi driver or builder. So I am really just playing at working.

Working from home is doing the same work in the same quantity and quality as you do in the office. Just in a different place (at home, without the commute).

Why is that not proper work? You have some strange ideas!

Can you just nip to the supermarket?
Can you just take my dog to the vet for his boosters?
Can you just pick my friend up from the station?
No, no and NO.

I feel your pain! Not so bad now but PIL used to drop round regularly for a chat and a coffee. Not so much any more but a few weeks ago we were talking about going back to work after a couple of weeks off at Christmas and they couldn’t fathom that we would have that ‘Sunday night dread’ as we don’t go in to an office. I really think they believe we just float around the house all day when in reality it’s sitting down at my laptop at 7:30 and not stopping until dinner and then sometimes back to it again after dinner. They are lovely people but they just don’t understand that’s all

Wasn't the point I was making, never mind 😆

Some people also struggle with understanding that you probably can spare them a couple of minutes; but not any couple of minutes whenever they happen to call or turn up.

Yes, you may put a wash on in your break, between phone calls or Teams/Zoom meetings - but nobody is telling their boss or key client to hold on for a few minutes in the middle of a meeting as they suddenly have a quick mundane task that supposedly must be done NOW!

Have not refreshed.

Don't answer the phone?

This is always the case for people - of whatever age - who live in very small worlds and can't/won't understand that not everybody is exactly the same as they are.

There was a time when the Internet was still unfamiliar to most people, and folk would sneer about "Oh, is that something that you read on the Internet?!" As though a high-level peer-reviewed scientific study conducted online would clearly have far less merit, importance or truth than something actually printed in a book - even if it's Fifty Shades of Grey!

People with office jobs are just as obtuse
They think if you're WFH that means they can get instant responses to any email or message or that you're always free to take a phone call
I have just as many meetings as you. I produce just as many documents, schedules, workplans as you

What threads about people skiving?

I’ve seen people start threads asking people to “admit” they’re not actually working, only to be met with a bunch of people talking about how hard they work from home.

In my experience a very generational thing
I'm a freelancer and work from home, I rent out a second home
Still have parents (mostly mum) asking why I don't have a job (or a 'real' job or a 'proper' job)
Also (mostly dad) asking why I don't sell the other house; they don't understand that it generates income
Mum also (like other posters) rings at random times during the day and gets very miffed when I say I'm working "But you're at home, not at work" is a common response from her

I agree. My Dad worked from home for decades, he also worked well into the evenings. We used to have to creep around him when he was on conference calls to India and the States (long before Teams).

He's in his 70s now. He'll occasionally call me during the day to ask something but as I can give him 5 minutes, without the fuss others seem incapable of doing, it's fine.

It certainly doesn't help with all the high-profile business talking heads declaring that WFH = shirking.

It's a bit like with calling in sick: so many people lie and abuse it when they fancy a day off or want to do something fun instead, so many people don't seem able to grasp that lots of people DO also call in sick because they are genuinely very ill and absolutely not fit to work.

I always think that the people who denounce everybody for shirking when they're WFH or calling in sick when they aren't (obviously there are some) are probably basing it on what they would do - and tarring everybody else with their own lack of discipline and regard for the truth.

Yes! My mum and dad have my daughter on Fridays in school holidays and won’t have me drop her off before 10 as it’s too early 🙄they don’t get that I’m trying to work from 8 and then have to work in a break to go and drop her off.

Gosh this brought tears to my eyes. It's been 12 years since I lost my lovely dad. He also used to make me tea and lunch. He ran his own business, never worked from home but completely understood the concept of WFH. He was insanely proud of my career. I miss him hugely.

Is it possible that all of these relatives have read the wfh threads on MN where numerous posters talk about how little they do?
They might have also seen neighbours like mine who go for walks/mow the lawn/have workmen around to cost jobs/visits from hairdressers etc. Not to mention all these people posting on this thread during normal office hours.

She is obviously op's dm 😱

My own parents are respectful

My friend (partner in city law) cannot get her family to stop interfering in her work from home arrangements. They do not understand. Obviously it is a huge job and her mother is particularly difficult. Given that her mother isn't a fool I assumed something else is going on. It seems about provoking a fight

Op, that made me laugh out loud, as I drank my coffee there! They just don't understand the working from home culture do they?
Dm thinks she can ring me for little chats in the day, and even says, "You can have a little break/skive can't you, nobody will know." Thanks, dm, this isn't bunking off from high school! One days she got dropped off, just popped in. She thought I "needed the company" since I am "just at home." It was infact dm that needed the company. I had her here all day because she couldn't get back until the person that dropped her off picked her up again! "Well, you're off anyway," she said, "now the dcs are at school." 😫 I'll get little texts: "What are you up to?" Like, I'm a lost little lamb who never leaves the house! 😂
Apparently in her day it was much worse because she had a boss watching over her, and I just swing on my chair supposedly! 🤯 Dm was a SAHM for most of my childhood!

Made me laugh. When I work from home, I do exactly the same tasks I do in the office. It is exactly the same, without the effing commute.