Older relatives not understanding WFH...

My friend’s daughter works from home. Her aunt popped round with something and was invited in. She was then was moaned about to her mum “She stayed for 45 minutes, I was supposed to be working “
Well don’t invite her in then!!

See, what you are doing is in part what causes this issues.

I couldn’t just have a quick coffee with a friend who has arrived unexpectedly during my working day whilst I was WFH.

Save for going to the loo and to make a cup of tea, I work solidly all day, and usually log back on in the evening to finish up. I eat my (premade) lunch whilst working. I work more hours on my WFH days than my office days.

I try to go into the office at least twice a week as balance - the commute means less hours during the working day and I tend to switch off on the way home making it far harder for me to just “log on to clear a couple of emails” or finish something off when I’m home.

But I have friends like you who do give the impression that they don’t really work when then WFH, as they can drop everything at a moments notice. Others then don’t understand why I can’t…

@Sickdissapointed OMG, this reminded me of my MIL. I used to work nights and we were staying at the in-laws for 3 days whilst renovating.

I crawled into bed from a 12hr night shift, and 1hr later, MIL decided to vacuum the hall outside our room, banging the bedroom door with the hoover head.

The following morning, the grandkids visited and MIL said they could come into my room and play with me! 😡

All i can remember is he did it for extra money (he went to America). He was teaching summer school out there, I don’t think it had anything to do with his job here.

Slightly different. I worked shifts as a nurse for many years. When I was on nights I was reluctant to turn house phone off in case of emergencies. DH was a copper so he needed to be contactable. ( long before mobiles)
My dad god bless him didn’t get this at all.
Dad would ring. “ well you sound sleepy- are you tired?” Yes dad I’m on nights remember ? Oh yes. “Well aren’t you up yet ? “Dad I’ve been in bed 2 hrs? Oh.
This happened many times. Anyone who’s worked nights knows the hell of trying to get back to sleep before the next 12 hrs hits you.

@KingTutting No. They didn't. I've worked in universities for over 35 years. The summer vac is when academics sort research proposals, do fieldwork, study visits, exchanges, establish collaborative relationships, open days, admissions, clearing. The list goes on and on. The undergrads may have gone home but the work goes on.

Yep. I have primary aged DC. I told DM recently that work was a bit quiet at the moment. She thought about it for a bit and said "does that mean that you can look after the kids in the school holidays instead of them going to holiday club then?"

No mum, no it doesn't.

Yeah it’s frustrating. My Dad constantly phones me for lifts because I work flexibly and he does it whether I’m in the office, on a site for work or at home. And every time I have to explain I’m on the clock.

it wouldn’t be so annoying, but when I was young he worked from home quite a lot and always sent me to post letters for him and things because he couldn’t step away, so he KNOWS 🙄

No. You might teach on an international summer school, or have a fellowship in an archive overseas for your research, but that isn’t because you’re on your holidays. 🙄

Everyones mum’s turned up… 🤣

Anyone in teaching will never admit to having time off. They are always much busier than anyone else, very over worked and ridiculously underpaid. They are martyrs to carry on doing the job … and will tell that to anyone that will listen!

You can be flexible when wfh, that’s the point … don’t need to be sat at a desk 9-5, and who is anyway when they are in an office. Don’t you ever grab a coffee with a colleague and take a break?!?! When people work from home seems they have to prove how busy they are to warrant it.

Yeah I’ve had that one too, and the people who absolutely can’t comprehend why I pay for holiday clubs when I work from home. I am WORKING and although my child would be safe she would be bored shitless.

Did they used to be though. Back in 80s/90s my friends dad used to go and take teaching jobs abroad sometimes in the summer?
I know people are on different contracts but even on tv they’ve always been portrayed as being off.

I was a postgrad in the early 80s and worked out of a uni research lab late 80s/early 90s) - barely noticed if it was undergrad termtime or not, tbh! Of course people did go to some conferences (but so do people in other professions) and academics would occasionally take a sabbatical but that was to work with a research group elsewhere.

TV rarely reflects real life accurately.

Did they used to be though. Back in 80s/90s my friends dad used to go and take teaching jobs abroad sometimes in the summer?
I know people are on different contracts but even on tv they’ve always been portrayed as being off.

Seriously?! I'd say it's a privilege to be able to WFH. You're trusted to do your work, just not in an office setting. At least people are earning a living, wherever they work from!
And WFH requires a great deal of discipline, self-motivation, and time management skills. It's not simply a matter of lounging around on the sofa, wandering round tidying rooms and just doing work whenever the mood strikes.
Your view is outdated and misguided, along with the many examples given in this thread!

@LaundryPond @Crinkle77 I feel your pain. I also work for a university. The number of people who say must be lovely to be off all summer. Nope. Not a school. We don't close when the students leave. It's worrying how poorly understood universities are.

Yep, I've been self-employed and WFH since 2008, DM would pop round for coffee or wanting to go shopping, not understanding that I'm working. Same when the kids were small, and she would have them for a day but not understand that when I'm working I'm not able to look after them that much. 6 months ago we moved into my FIL's old business premises when he retired, but everyone seems to have not noticed we're working there, and get family calls asking what we're doing when the shop is open most days. I think if I was employed in a business premises, they might get it more

I did say ' many types of' so it looks like you should not have taken it so personally yourself. Before early retiring last year I worked in offices for over 40 years, no employment gaps, I saw a lot of changes. The first computer into the office, the first day when we had a computer on every desk. A steady decline over that whole time was commitment, work ethic, and dedication I am sorry to report. To today when the average Gen Z-er walks in from Uni, oosing of entitlement, and does not put their mobile down long enough to get half as much done as the veterans. Great fun guys, know how to party, brighten the place up no end - but nobody that you would set up a business with!

I gave up teaching ( in person 100%) to a hybrid office role. I think my parents minds were blown that I was even getting paid to be honest. It’s not proper work.

That is exactly what she said, were you there too? ;-)

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you never took a personal call at work? Sorry, don’t believe you. What an awful ageist comment and making you out to be this such hard working person. 🤣🤣🤣

When I WFH I sit down at my laptop at 7am. I work until 9/10 when I take the dog for a walk for 40 minutes. I then work through to 12 assemble a quick lunch from fridge contents (5mins) and eat at my desk. I might put a wash on (5 mins). A friend might come over for a coffee for 15 minutes. I shut my laptop when DH lays the table for dinner about 7.30 pm.

But obviously that's far less productive then the two hours of getting ready, getting the dog to daycare and travelling to the office to arrive at 9am. The 45 minutes of leaving the office to get lunch and eating in the break room (food not permitted at desks) and the hour long journey home to arrive home at 7pm exhausted.

When I work from the office my employer therefore loses nearly 3-4 hours of time I would have otherwise been able to spend productively on work. Instead it's been spent travelling to do less work in a very specific location. Not to mention the extra pollution and the additional personal expense and mental load.

But yes. Lazy feckless WFHers.

I remember when I first started working at home and my mum said 'right, shall we go for breakfast!?' Then looked very put out / roller her eyes when I said no, I'm working I can't just swan off for breakfast mum lol. She gets it now though

DD and DP work mainly from home. When I visit I see to myself and stay out of their way. If desperate I will go and ask something but it has to be desperate e.g. boiler is flooding all over the floor, dog has escaped out of front door.
I understand they are working. I will go into town on my own if DD says she will mind my dog along with hers (pre-arranged at breakfast before work starts and involves my dog sitting on day bed with hers in her office), but otherwise I stay put or take the dog for a walk. Just because you are at home does not mean you are free to talk - or even explain how the TV works.