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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be sick and tired of parenting autistic pre teen DC?

39 replies

Sickandtiredofthisbullshit · 10/02/2025 22:22

My DS is year 7 and has combined autism/adhd diagnosis.

He is also a massive pain in the arse.

It’s after 10pm and he is unlikely to be asleep before midnight. I’ve been shouted and screamed several times already tonight and I’m worn out. This is for crimes as serious as asking him to put his dishes in the kitchen, put on his pyjamas, and brush his teeth.

it never gets easier. He’s high functioning, so he doesn’t need a huge amount of support. But it’s like trying to get a very argumentative, articulate toddler to bed every night.

I’m so fucking bored of it and just want to walk out and leave his feckless dad to parent him instead.

i do love him dearly, but i can’t wait until he grows up and leaves home!

OP posts:
fedup1212 · 10/02/2025 22:47

Sympathy OP. My DS 11 has suspected ASD/ADHD and mild to moderate LDs.

Everything is a battle! He takes everything incredibly personally because he has little self esteem.

It's exhausting and I'd love just to have a bit of normality!

My house is trashed because of him, he's hit me, kicked me, throws stuff.

It's shit.

There are good moments but the bad ones outweigh them unfortunately. Sad

Owmyelbow · 10/02/2025 22:46

Ah I came I close to losing the plot with my ASD year 7 DS. Last year or so has been problematic. I hope we'll come out the other side soon!

HollyBerryz · 10/02/2025 22:46

Look up demand avoidance tactics

Original poster
Sickandtiredofthisbullshit · 10/02/2025 22:45

Anewyearanewday · 10/02/2025 22:40

No autism but my DC sounds so similar and I dream of getting a one way plane ticket and never coming back. I'm so tired and bored of being shouted at, having doors slammed and the constant heated arguments, dramas and battles. I'm trying to walk away instead of saying something I know I will regret but its hard, so very very hard as I'm followed around being shouted at....

It’s so hard isn’t it?

My friends with NT teens don’t have an easy ride either.

could you imagine taking that behaviour from anyone else? If you posted on AIBU about an adult friend or family member treating you like the average teen, you’d be told to go NC!

(Disclaimer: I know some people have lovely teens!)

OP posts:
zigazigahhhh · 10/02/2025 22:42

Melatonin!! Without it my autistic son can stay up (bouncing off the walls) to 6am 😭
Please speak to your paediatrician about getting it prescribed xx

Original poster
Sickandtiredofthisbullshit · 10/02/2025 22:41

FancyRedRobin · 10/02/2025 22:37

I'm going to suggest melatonin, game changer for my kid who did not seem to have a functioning circadian rhythm.

Also solidarity, it's f*ckin exhausting!

I think I might try that. Had tried to avoid too many drugs, but at my wits’end! he just keeps going like the Duracell bunny!

OP posts:
Anewyearanewday · 10/02/2025 22:40

No autism but my DC sounds so similar and I dream of getting a one way plane ticket and never coming back. I'm so tired and bored of being shouted at, having doors slammed and the constant heated arguments, dramas and battles. I'm trying to walk away instead of saying something I know I will regret but its hard, so very very hard as I'm followed around being shouted at....

Gasgirl25 · 10/02/2025 22:40

FancyRedRobin · 10/02/2025 22:37

I'm going to suggest melatonin, game changer for my kid who did not seem to have a functioning circadian rhythm.

Also solidarity, it's f*ckin exhausting!

Ditto. DD is AuDHD and melatonin has been a brilliant help

redannie18 · 10/02/2025 22:39

Sending lots of love, it is very very hard. My kid sounds very similar to yours, impossible at times, and now they are 20 and I dread them leaving home cause they are so lovely and great company. It was just hard when i was their “manager”.

Pick your battles, The explosive child is a good book to help with negotiating solutions. Low demand parenting and not trying to be “normal” was when things started making more sense.

However appreciate you didnt ask for advice so sorry if that was annoying. Its ok to vent and put yourself first when you get the chance x

FancyRedRobin · 10/02/2025 22:37

I'm going to suggest melatonin, game changer for my kid who did not seem to have a functioning circadian rhythm.

Also solidarity, it's f*ckin exhausting!

Original poster
Sickandtiredofthisbullshit · 10/02/2025 22:33

Fidgety31 · 10/02/2025 22:31

Pick your battles - it’s not worth tying yourself in knots if you can avoid it instead .
thats the biggest thing I learned from my adhd/autistic son when he was younger !
now he’s 22 and much more bearable eventually !

Did he manage to get into a routine eventually?

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 10/02/2025 22:31

Pick your battles - it’s not worth tying yourself in knots if you can avoid it instead .
thats the biggest thing I learned from my adhd/autistic son when he was younger !
now he’s 22 and much more bearable eventually !

Octavia64 · 10/02/2025 22:25

Ear defenders.

For you. Then go to bed and leave him to it.

Original poster
Sickandtiredofthisbullshit · 10/02/2025 22:24

And now he has started chanting repeatedly and noisily so I can hear it downstairs.

OP posts: