I have called the social services and they are going to put him in a children’s home

Why do people post when they have no clue what they’re saying - children’s homes absolutely exist I have just left a company that ran 15 of them and was busy acquiring more houses to make into them! They’re often residential houses in quiet estates and you don’t even know they are there. Residential schools also very much exist.

also I think people are expecting MI5 levels of secrecy over children’s placements and stuff and this is not the case I’ve been covering a class in a school where a social worker came in and spoke to me at length about a child, we’ve had parents of other children take children in for a few days and they’ve also been involved in the process of the child being taken into foster care, where they’re moving on to etc, social workers will ring up and chat about situations to school staff that are directly involved with a child, it’s not James Bond level secrecy we’re talking here, emails aren’t even encrypted or password protected unless there’s something serious like a parent actively trying to search out a child who they had criminal proceedings against or something. I work in another place now and I can access multiple kids files with their family history ‘mum must have NO contact traumatic history, foster placement with Susan Smith from 1/3/22, has lived with sister Becky Jones prior to this’ / this isnt secret info

@MustDoNothing that's absolutely awful, I'm so sorry that happened to you.

These days social services simply won't accept a parent relinquishing their responsibility to care for a child, and if a parent were to continue to insist, it's more likely that a child protection plan would be put in place for neglect before it could get to that point. Not that that is any guarantee of preventing it happening.

You mention you were never told why - you may be aware of this and not want to go down this route but just in case it is helpful, if you were in care, even 'voluntarily' the records should be stored, and be possible for you to access as an adult if you wish.

@ByArtfulBird thank you for looking out for him.

I hope it works out for him xxx

It's already been linked near the top of the thread.

Wtf are you talking about? He's not her child. He is being thrown out my husband parents. He's just 14yo.
OP was thinking of offering him her spare room but he's her daughters BF so she had no real choice but to protect him the best way possible through help from SS.

Yeah they do, I live very close to a council run home that takes children with disabilities from aged 5+, but lots of them now are run by private companies.

So I’ve misread the OP and didn’t catch up on the other thread so didn’t realise he’d moved in with her. Apologies <stands down and shuffles off to eat humble pie>

To the people saying this process is BS, it's not. I've namechanged for this but at the age of 10, I came home from school to the bombshell that I was being took to a residential children's home there and then. For me there was no warning, no knowledge of a social worker involved, nothing. I was distraught, confused and everything else. It was the one and only time I was ever arrested by the police because i refused to go. I still 29 years later do not know why, apart my own evidenced conclusion that my mum didn't want me now she had a stable boyfriend who didn't like me and my brother. It took a lot of intervention to get over that.

My point is this is possible and DOES happen, though obviously the parents have either consented or cant be contacted.

How do you think it works if social services don't give any information out?
They just knock on the door of the people who have physical care of the child and drag him out without saying a word?
Of course they have to tell the OP (and child) what is going on!

But he's living in her house?

Exactly, some people really don't think.

It’s not a removal hence read the other post

How could they not tell the person who is reporting the situation to them what is going to happen?

Would have thought if you want people to read your previous thread (that you mention it in the op) that maybe a link to said that might be an idea....

That would be a bad idea. 14 year olds shouldn't be living with their boyfriend/girlfriend for a start. It's too much too soon and forces them to act well beyond their age. What happens to the lad when they inevitably breakup? He may feel like he has to stay in a relationship in order to keep a roof over his head.

Children's homes don't really exist anymore is he gong into to foster care ?

They very much DO exist, although much smaller than in the past. They may not be known about but I know of at least six in my county. I am a foster carer and have had children in my care who either moved onto a children's home (generally when their needs became too serious to manage in a family setting). Equally I have cared for children after they had been in a children's home. One of my current children has a sibling who has been in a children's home for many years, due to the fact he made accusations against any foster home he was moved to.

Well done OP for getting help for him.

In regards to confidentiality, social workers will share relevant info with anyone who is part of a child's support network/support plan - if the OP is caring for him or providing support they absolutely will communicate with her. It is very common for family friends to be involved when there is a breakdown within a family.

The suggestion that children's homes don't exist is just bonkers. It's a huge industry! Our local authority has six of their own - four 'regular' , one long term for children with physical disabilities, one for short breaks. There are a LOT of private children's homes in our locality, ranging from small basic homes to therapeutic solo placements, specialist for children who have sexually harmful behaviour, ones specific for children with ASD, etc. Still not as many spaces as we actually need sadly, and certainly not as many foster homes as we need.

Link to previous post?

I visited a young person in a residential placement last week. They still exist

You can foster him and they will give you money

.

What?! Yes they do, I live right near one.

They really do!

Erm, yes they do. They just call them residential centres or some such. I live in a small Scottish council and we have two, total of about 12 beds.