I have called the social services and they are going to put him in a children’s home

ByArtfulBird · 2025-02-10T20:23:40+00:00

If you have not seen the first thread about it don’t reply you will get confused. I have called them up and they said we are going to put him in a children’s home but not until Wednesday so he will be staying at mine till then just thought I would let you know how it’s going.

itsallabitofamystery · 18/02/2025 00:03

@mathanxiety he was taken into care the next day. He's no longer able to attend that school as he's been housed just over 80 miles away.

DenimPlayer · 16/02/2025 17:10

I did this when my daughters boyfriendsmum past away he just lived with us i never told anyone he was nearly 16

mathanxiety · 15/02/2025 21:13

Sorry, hadn't seen your update. Will you be able to keep in touch?

mathanxiety · 15/02/2025 21:09

itsallabitofamystery · 11/02/2025 11:08

@littleluncheon I'm at the point now where I'm backed into a corner, so I have said to them this morning (by text, as they never call me), that he has no where to go this evening and therefore if they do not collect him from school he will be walking the streets. So far, no reply.

I'm just interested to see how OP has managed to get him a placement so quickly, as they're basically telling me they would absolutely try to avoid this at all costs. Yet they've been telling me this for 3 weeks!

Did you tell the school though?

The HT and the safeguarding lead need to be notified.

mathanxiety · 15/02/2025 21:04

Well done, @ByArtfulBird

A very difficult situation for everyone. I hope there'll be a good outcome eventually.

GrumpyUngulate · 15/02/2025 19:50

Disneytips4 · 10/02/2025 21:00

I literally do the job

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Retired children's social worker here, this is correct. If someone is the temporary carer for a kid, and they're a responsible adult, we're not going to block them out of what's going on. That doesn't mean we tell them everything of course, but they're already part of the basic care plan for the child.

BubblePerm · 15/02/2025 19:49

You've got a good heart OP. Well done x

Glorybox2025 · 15/02/2025 19:46

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 22:01

Better still let him live there. FFS children's home, do you have any idea at all how fkd up they are? & How much neglect and abuse occurs? Crime then kicked out at 16.

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This isn't how things are at all!

Ponderingwindow · 15/02/2025 19:41

Why are people arguing over semantics? I would guess social services told her that they would take the boy into their provision in a few days, not that they gave her access to his entire file.

im just glad a teenage girl isn’t going to have her troubled boyfriend moved into her house. She should be free to date or not date him without any real consequences at her age. If he lives in the house, that option goes away.

PMAmostofthetime · 15/02/2025 19:36

@OKNerd

The conversation probably went something like we are arranging something for ( daughters boyfriend) is it ok if he stays with you until Wednesday-
We will provide costs.

How on earth would SS work if they couldn't say anything at all to anyone. Under safeguarding which this is a 14 year old homeless child who's been abandoned by his parents they can divulge a lot of information.
Stop scaremongering and commenting on this you have obviously no idea about.

Well done OP for doing the right thing. Hope this lad gets the help he deserves.

NorthernSarcasticandDownrightFantastic · 15/02/2025 18:58

x2boys · 10/02/2025 21:11

Children's homes don't really exist anymore is he gong into to foster care ?

Erm on what planet? I love in a smallish town (16k population) and know 7 kids homes just in the centre of town, let alone on the outskirts and surrounding villages

KindLemur · 13/02/2025 23:54

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 22:08

Fkn evil! OMFG. How can you ever, ever recover from that!? You poor thing, I'm so incredibly sorry. That has broken my heart 💔, no one deserves that . Every child is a blessing, you were and are a special valuable angel.I cannot understand how anyone can give you away like this, she must be ill, or I'm sorry but evil! You are amazing, never ever ever forget that not even for a second. Children's homes in today's society should never ever exist& the whole care system needs ripped apart.

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Erm they don’t need ‘ripping apart’ some residential care for SEND children is a life life for families and very much needed

Nextdoor55 · 13/02/2025 22:48

Oh no I wouldn't call SS they're a nightmare - generally speaking I am sure they do some positive things but they aren't always helpful

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 22:08

MustDoNothing · 10/02/2025 22:12

To the people saying this process is BS, it's not. I've namechanged for this but at the age of 10, I came home from school to the bombshell that I was being took to a residential children's home there and then. For me there was no warning, no knowledge of a social worker involved, nothing. I was distraught, confused and everything else. It was the one and only time I was ever arrested by the police because i refused to go. I still 29 years later do not know why, apart my own evidenced conclusion that my mum didn't want me now she had a stable boyfriend who didn't like me and my brother. It took a lot of intervention to get over that.

My point is this is possible and DOES happen, though obviously the parents have either consented or cant be contacted.

Fkn evil! OMFG. How can you ever, ever recover from that!? You poor thing, I'm so incredibly sorry. That has broken my heart 💔, no one deserves that . Every child is a blessing, you were and are a special valuable angel.I cannot understand how anyone can give you away like this, she must be ill, or I'm sorry but evil! You are amazing, never ever ever forget that not even for a second. Children's homes in today's society should never ever exist& the whole care system needs ripped apart.

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 22:01

Jen596 · 10/02/2025 21:03

Poor kid, how awful to be kicked out by your parents at 14. We know how poor outcomes are for looked after children - around half have a criminal conviction by early adulthood. Well done OP for trying to put something in place for this poor kid so they don't end up in an even worse position ie on the street.

Better still let him live there. FFS children's home, do you have any idea at all how fkd up they are? & How much neglect and abuse occurs? Crime then kicked out at 16.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/02/2025 17:53

Kahless · 10/02/2025 21:44

Would have thought if you want people to read your previous thread (that you mention it in the op) that maybe a link to said that might be an idea....

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There is a link on page 1

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/02/2025 17:51

NiftyKoala · 10/02/2025 21:28

Link to previous post?

Page 1

Cornishgorl44 · 12/02/2025 20:13

Oh yes they do. In all sorts of different sizes and locations. Many are family homes that have been converted. There are far more than you imagine. The company I work for own 75 different homes

BloominNora · 12/02/2025 13:57

itsallabitofamystery · 12/02/2025 12:44

@BloominNora no they haven't offered anything. Only thing they did request was whether my two teenage girls could share, to allow him to have my youngest daughter's bedroom. They have never shared before, and sharing as teens would be difficult as they're just so different (one quiet bookworm and one a performer), so it just wouldn't work. I'd be sacrificing their home life for someone who isn't even related to us.

I feel I'm hijacking OPs thread a little, but would be interesting to see how things have gone. My lad absconded for a little last night, I couldn't find him but eventually he turned up at 2am crying. He's gone with the social workers no to look at "plan A", which is a children's home but they want to meet him first. I've asked what plan b was, but they don't have one as yet. So now it's just a case of sitting and waiting to hear.

Good luck - hope it gets sorted for him and you.

BloominNora · 12/02/2025 13:55

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:17

This isn't true if it's a private family arrangement, only if the local authority placed him with the OP. I haven't read the original post but if you just take in an unconnected child it doesn't automatically become a placement, only if social services ask you to take them in on a medium to longer term basis.

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You are referring to private fostering - except neither the OP or @itsallabitofamystery have taken these young people in based on a mutual arrangement with their parents - they've taken them in out of the kindness. Both of them have asked Social Care to get involved, which means both should become placements under section 20 (unless the child is 16 or over and does not consent to it - but either way the LA has a duty to find suitable accommodation - whether section 20 or not)

If the LA are deeming @itsallabitofamystery situation as Private Fostering and are not planning to accommodate they should have started to undertake a PF assessment (which is more in depth than a Reg 24), including DBS checks, given that the arrangement is coming up to 28 days - but they can't just decide its PF without agreement.

Reg 24 assessments are for emergency foster care placements with connected carers for up to 16 weeks, with Reg 25 allowing for an further 8 week extension - the idea being to allow social care time to either assess fully or find an alternative placement and connected carers who are looking after children under Reg 24 should be paid.

Because @itsallabitofamystery has not received the support she needs, it is now going to cost the LA a lot more to find a residential placement for the young lad than it would have done if they had just acknowledged and formalised the connected carer placement.

itsallabitofamystery · 12/02/2025 12:44

@BloominNora no they haven't offered anything. Only thing they did request was whether my two teenage girls could share, to allow him to have my youngest daughter's bedroom. They have never shared before, and sharing as teens would be difficult as they're just so different (one quiet bookworm and one a performer), so it just wouldn't work. I'd be sacrificing their home life for someone who isn't even related to us.

I feel I'm hijacking OPs thread a little, but would be interesting to see how things have gone. My lad absconded for a little last night, I couldn't find him but eventually he turned up at 2am crying. He's gone with the social workers no to look at "plan A", which is a children's home but they want to meet him first. I've asked what plan b was, but they don't have one as yet. So now it's just a case of sitting and waiting to hear.

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:29

Rudollhtherednosrcheesecake · 10/02/2025 21:24

You can foster him and they will give you money

This isn't how it works

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:28

x2boys · 10/02/2025 21:11

Children's homes don't really exist anymore is he gong into to foster care ?

Yes they do

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:17

BloominNora · 12/02/2025 06:10

@itsallabitofamystery - has the LA not offered to assess you as a connected carer?

If he has been with you for a few weeks they really should have done an initial Reg24 assessment and been paying you connected carer fostering rates while either looking for a more permanent place or undertaking a full assessment if you were prepared to keep him.

Would you be prepared to keep him if they paid you the proper rates and helped to ensure the summer house was properly habitable?

A lot of LAs are now realising that it is cheaper to support a foster carer to make the required changes to their home to enable them to keep fostering than it is to place a child in a residential placement.

It would certainly be cheaper, and more importantly, better for the young man in your care, for them to pay for a better insulated cabin than it would to place him out of area in a children's home.

Edited

This isn't true if it's a private family arrangement, only if the local authority placed him with the OP. I haven't read the original post but if you just take in an unconnected child it doesn't automatically become a placement, only if social services ask you to take them in on a medium to longer term basis.

Glorybox2025 · 12/02/2025 06:16

OKNerd · 10/02/2025 20:59

Wrong. I doubt they would ever engage with anyone but a very strict list of people over this child. You REALLY think people can “call up social services” and access very confidential information over a legal process?

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What are you talking about? The child has been living with the OP. Of COURSE she can call his social worker and be given an update. Accommodating a child under section 20 isn't a 'legal process' and it's not confidential information to tell the adult who has been caring for a child that they are going to place him somewhere on a certain day!