Apparently I'm being OTT with his hobby?

I’m not as convinced as everyone else. Every Wednesday and Saturday, alternate Sundays plus the competitions at least once a month sounds a lot to me.

I think your mum is just saying “don’t sacrifice your own life for this”. It’s sort of in the mum’s job description: you’re prioritising your son’s needs, she’s worried about yours.

Yes be prepared, he could very suddenly and without warning lose al interest! If this happens though just find him something else, and let him know that no hobby needs to be gone forever, they can be picked up and put down and picked up again. It can be good for ADHDers to have a set of hobbies they can cycle.

Or he might just keep going which would be great as this sounds so good for him and you sound like a great mum!!

ADHD does not work like that (any reward needs to be immediate). And the exercise and regulation he gets from the BMXing will be helping his schoolwork* (as his mum has seen) plus the confidence he is gaining will further help him in the areas of life including school. Not sure why on earth you'd make something so effective and helpful a "treat" for completing schoolwork. Sounds completely counterproductive and arse about face.

*aerobic exercise is the next best thing for "treating" ADHD after medication. Aerobic exercise is also very effective for emotional regulation.

You sound like you’re doing just fine, OP! Your DS is getting good exercise out in the fresh air, and you’ve said he’s even improved at school… what’s not to love?

Just a teeny word of warning tho - my DS was a mad keen stunt BMX rider, and was really good at it… til the day (aged 12) he went over the handlebars and knocked his adult teeth out!! Also skinned his face and split his chin open 3 inches!
It didn’t put him off!
As long as your DS has “all the gear” keep cheering him on!!

Your mum has all her priorities wrong.

As long as he keeps enjoying it, you won't wear him out. I have ADHD and could do my hobbies forever. I'm into board gaming, and before I had my little girl, played Monday evening, Wednesday, and all day Sunday socially, and whenever in the week when I could convince my wife to play too haha. So while ever he's keen, go for it. It probs gives him a lot of joy and confidence. And friends!

He may drop it at some point as I have many ADHD hyperfixations lol, but equally he might not!!!

As an x-BMXer (my joints are too crumbly now lol), I think it's a fantastic thing for your son to be doing. It's a fantastic community, filled with such a variety of different people - who unify over the love of it. It sounds like it's benefiting your son enormously. I've always been a big believer of encouraging any hobbies my children show an interest in (our garage is heaving with cricket, boxing, football, hockey, rugby etc. equipment - and lots of bikes. Is it all used now? Nope! But their bikes still are. Keep going for as long as he loves it and you're able. You're doing a great job! I've still got a BMX that I built from scratch and spent a small fortune on - it continues to be one of my most treasured possessions in my 40s xx

This is absolutely the wrong approach for kids with autism or ADHD, because if he doesn't manage the school work you will just destroy his enjoyment of it and make him feel like a failure again.

OP, keep doing what you're doing and ignore your mum, the is absolutely brilliant for your boy's mental health.

@RainbowRead this is a great suggestion on how to channel your DS’s enthusiasm and interest in his biking into a task that should also help him improve some fundamental skills for school. Hopefully if he’s writing about a topic he loves, he’ll find the whole undertaking easier. Plus as it’s just for his sake (so he can track personal bests, finishes an such), with nothing riding on it in terms of school, being graded etc, he will hopefully feel comfortable enough that if he does make any mistakes, it’s no big deal and it doesn’t shake his confidence.

Sounds like you’re absolutely doing the right thing by your boy. But I’d personally steer clear of the cycle related dating pool - I will never be convinced a grown man looks good in tight, Lycra shorts. 😂

Oh god your mum would hate to hear my sons timetable Monday - Krav Maga Tuesday - kickboxing and football Wednesday - Krav Maga Thursday - football Friday - Maui Thai and Saturday - football match (anywhere with in a 40 minute drive away) he needs it or he gets sooo board!! There are week when he won’t do so much on the MMA side because he’s tired but we pick up more classes the week after. If your son’s happy then she should be happy. Well done to him for finding something he loves!! And is good at. Xx

The fact that doing this has helped him improve at school, is absolute proof that it's good for him (in my mind anyway). And the fact that ADHD meltdowns can be cured by offering to help him clean, well that's just win win for both of you. You are a brilliant mum and don't let your mother make you think otherwise!

Dd has ASD and ADHD. She needed constant movement. At age 7 she was doing hockey once a week (went up to twice a week aged 8), GAA, swimming, Scouts and an afternoon of sailing weekly. As well as afterschool athletics, soccer, Gaelic and chess clubs.

As she grew older, things settled into more hockey and sailing, kept up scouts, did 4 afterschool sports a week. And in secondary, as much hockey and athletics as possible, sailing every weekend (and many weekends were 2 day clinics or events). And once lockdown came, a personal gym at home regime and dropped sailing to do competitive cycling.

It kept her mind from racing too much. It gave her enough proprioceptive input to manage time needed sitting and concentrating.

She did very well in her Leaving Cert, and she's now studying in the Netherlands, while playing hockey 1 level below professional and cycling - having won national cycling senior events last summer and got her first international cap for hockey this year.

If your DS is enjoying it - not you pushing him to do something he hates - and he is getting the fidgets out so he can concentrate for school. That's great. What we found was DD went through phases of loving both different sports and hobbies, but also it expanded her horizons away from a couple of interests that were almost obsessions. She learned to deal with other people and interact with them as they expected to. They accepted her more because she was getting stuck in and working together, not being a loner on the edge of the classroom. She had things to talk about to them that were not niche obsessions but the games they were all playing (she might go into more detail - but it was a "normal" conversation).

DCs with neurodiversity's are great, but hard work to help them achieve their potential. And also difficult for people not ND or with it in their family to understand their levels of intensity.

He will let you know when he is worn out. Until then, carry on.

I'd completely ignore her honestly, it sounds like it's amazing for him. He's getting exercise and fresh air and he's HAPPY.

Me too, Murdo. You might find this article interesting: https://www.additudemag.com/benefits-of-individual-sports/

OP, you're doing a fab job. Your boy is lucky to have a mum like you.

My kids are cyclists. (Different type.) What you are describing is pretty common - we have loads of kids at our club who were struggling with school / life / friendships and have found their place in the world through cycling.

I am not sure if it is still there but at Manchester velodrome there used to be a sign saying “nothing compares to the simple pleasure of riding your bike”. It is so true. (And I have discovered by googling that it is attributed to JFK.)

Can I make a suggestion? Over time try out some other forms of bike riding too. There are so many - road, track, cross, mountain, gravel, downhill just off the top of my head. And the skills are so transferable - and you may even find one he loves even more!

Putting arbitrary rules in place for no good reason and blocking his access to his hyperfocus will cause frustration and stress for the child. That will make him less likely to engage with school work because he will see school as the thing that's preventing him from following his hyperfocus. He's not bmxing during school hours, so the two things should be separate.

Aww it makes me so happy to see a mum who understands her child's ND so well. Many don't and just end up traumatising themselves and their children with bribes and threats and guilt trips. Your boy is lucky to have you on his side in this world.

Have a look at a short film in YouTube 'Flow - Featuring the Trailrippers'

Its about two neurodiverse brothers who just HAVE to BMX.