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AIBU?

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To be sat here crying

65 replies

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 19:59

So my ex and I broke up a while ago now and within weeks he was with another woman. He is now taking the children away with her etc. I am just sat here crying as I knew this man for so so long and now he just feels like a complete stranger. Does it get any easier?

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OKNerd · 10/02/2025 20:55

IME people don’t leave long term relationships without having someone waiting in the wings. He’s a prick, forget him

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:53

Itiswhysofew · 10/02/2025 20:52

You definitely will get through it and be happier knowing that you're not wasting the rest of your time and life with someone who could treat you like that. Honestly, you'll be all the better for itFlowers

What is annoying is that it was me who ended it. I couldn’t put up with his selfish ways anymore he left me no choice to be honest.

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Itiswhysofew · 10/02/2025 20:52

You definitely will get through it and be happier knowing that you're not wasting the rest of your time and life with someone who could treat you like that. Honestly, you'll be all the better for itFlowers

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:52

devildeepbluesea · 10/02/2025 20:50

If I’m honest, I think many (most?) men are emotionally and morally bankrupt. My best friend died tragically a while ago, and her devoted husband was on Tinder less than a month later.

How do they do it?

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devildeepbluesea · 10/02/2025 20:50

If I’m honest, I think many (most?) men are emotionally and morally bankrupt. My best friend died tragically a while ago, and her devoted husband was on Tinder less than a month later.

Jasrun · 10/02/2025 20:47

i was dumped after 12 years without a second thought because my ex met someone else. Didn’t care a jot about me. Seven years on it hurts so much.

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:46

PlumFairies · 10/02/2025 20:45

How long ago did you split up? If it was over five months ago then I don’t think it’s unreasonable of him to be trying to move on, although him having her around your children isn’t in their best interests.

We split up 6 months ago but was with her within a few weeks

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2025willbemytime · 10/02/2025 20:46

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:33

I just want to know that I will get through this and come out of the other side, stronger. I can’t even believe I thought I knew him, I am absolutely broken. He has just moved on like I meant nothing whilst I have cried daily for about 5 months

You will but it may take time. You have to get strong in your head. Realise you are in charge of your own life.

PlumFairies · 10/02/2025 20:45

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:33

I just want to know that I will get through this and come out of the other side, stronger. I can’t even believe I thought I knew him, I am absolutely broken. He has just moved on like I meant nothing whilst I have cried daily for about 5 months

How long ago did you split up? If it was over five months ago then I don’t think it’s unreasonable of him to be trying to move on, although him having her around your children isn’t in their best interests.

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:43

sweetpickle2 · 10/02/2025 20:36

I'm sorry OP, it's really hard.

My ex-DH started dating someone 1 week after we broke up, he is now married to her. I spent a year or so utterly depressed and getting over the relationship, the fact he'd moved on so quickly without giving me a second thought was even more hurtful than the break up itself- he couldn't understand why.

I have come out of the other side though, and ultimately I'm just happy I'm not with someone so emotionally stunted and uncaring. You will be too.

Are you honestly happier now

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toomuchfaff · 10/02/2025 20:41

You've been cast aside and you are grieving, you need to grieve and heal, but when you do you will heal stronger - and he will still be a shallow tw*t with the emotional intelligence of a slug.

Don't loom back with the rose coloured glasses. He's a dick, he's done you a favour by showing you. Yes your life has changed, but it'll be OK, you just have to find your new normal. Find some things to interest you, some hobbies, stop looking back with the rose glasses, told you already take them off and throw them in the bin. Find the new you. Good luck

sweetpickle2 · 10/02/2025 20:36

I'm sorry OP, it's really hard.

My ex-DH started dating someone 1 week after we broke up, he is now married to her. I spent a year or so utterly depressed and getting over the relationship, the fact he'd moved on so quickly without giving me a second thought was even more hurtful than the break up itself- he couldn't understand why.

I have come out of the other side though, and ultimately I'm just happy I'm not with someone so emotionally stunted and uncaring. You will be too.

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:33

2025willbemytime · 10/02/2025 20:23

It will and does get easier. He's a twat and your poor kids must be so confused. Focus on yourself your children and ignore what he does.

I just want to know that I will get through this and come out of the other side, stronger. I can’t even believe I thought I knew him, I am absolutely broken. He has just moved on like I meant nothing whilst I have cried daily for about 5 months

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2025willbemytime · 10/02/2025 20:23

It will and does get easier. He's a twat and your poor kids must be so confused. Focus on yourself your children and ignore what he does.

ThatsLifee · 10/02/2025 20:22

I just don’t understand how we was in a relationship for 20 years and he has become so elusive

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