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Original poster

Why can’t friends be happy for me?

39 replies

makiela · 10/02/2025 19:31

I really worked on myself last year. Got back on medication, lost some weight, made way more effort with my appearance and clothes, got a new job with a much better salary - I don’t talk about my salary but obviously mentioned the new job.

One friend just seems to have really turned on me. Snide comments, she had a gathering and told a joke at my expense to people I don’t even know to be laughed at.

She used to make a big deal of me not putting myself out there and being more confident. Now I have and she seems to hate me for it.

OP posts:
SpongeKnobNoPants · 10/02/2025 20:08

Ah, I've been there. 'Friends' who hang around with those who have very little confidence do so to make themselves feel superior. Now those people can't feel superior to you, you're surplus to requirements. You no longer boost their egos. The only way to claw back some of their undeserved superiority is to belittle you. It's an attempt to bring you back down to the peg they believe you belong on. That peg they previously liked you being on...beneath them (you never were beneath them BTW, but people like this are shallow and would consider your job & financial status, physical appearance, health problems etc as such).

Ditch them. They're not real friends. Real friends would be proud of you, happy for you and supportive. People like this are just leeches.

RubyRedBow · 10/02/2025 20:04

She is jealous.

I had a friend that was never happy for me but they would be visibly ecstatic and thriving when I was having a bad time. As soon as I was smashing life the trash took themselves out.

lobsterkiller · 10/02/2025 20:03

She doesn't sound very nice tbh. You've achieved a lot in a short space of time and you should be congratulated not torn into. I'd distance myself if it was me.

KimberleyClark · 10/02/2025 20:00

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 10/02/2025 19:44

She probably liked feeling superior to you beforehand. Now you've stepped out of the "box" that she put you in, she doesn't like it.

Exactly this.

Polkadotbabushka · 10/02/2025 19:58

She hates herself

whatawonderfultime · 10/02/2025 19:57

you need new friends to match the new you

EnjoythemoneyJane · 10/02/2025 19:56

She’s a frenemy; your relationship is predicated on her pitying you in order to feel better about herself. You’ve changed the terms of engagement and now she has to punish you for it. You really don’t need her brand of ‘friendship’ in your life.

Congrats on your new start, OP - keep moving forward and leave deadweights like her behind you.

theduchessofspork · 10/02/2025 19:48

She’s jealous - maybe you were the unconfident acquaintance that made her feel better and she wants you back in her box

She is not your friend

Just move on from her

AcquadiP · 10/02/2025 19:46

True friends would be happy for you. Unfortunately, this jealous woman isn't a true friend; and it sounds as if she has some issues of her own. Ignore her and keep doing you. And well done :)

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 10/02/2025 19:44

She probably liked feeling superior to you beforehand. Now you've stepped out of the "box" that she put you in, she doesn't like it.

potatopaws · 10/02/2025 19:42

She’s jealous because she’s got her own issues, and while you’ve sorted yours, she’s stood still.

Start being busy when she calls you, until she gives her head a wobble. Tell her why, if she asks you. I’m a believer in allowing people a chance to redeem themselves if they want to, but don't take any more crap from her.

Chuchoter · 10/02/2025 19:38

You've done well and now she's realised that she could also have improved her lot but didn't!

Instead of saying well fine do you she's jealous and wants to drag you down.

Bin her and keep on rising.

Praying4Peace · 10/02/2025 19:33

Congratulations! You have achieved so much and should be proud of yourself.
Embrace the change!

Notsosure1 · 10/02/2025 19:33

Ghost her. No explanation, she’s jealous and doesn’t wish you well. Drop her. If she reaches out to ask why and offers an apology you can re-evaluate

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