To think being single should be celebrated more than getting married?

Please see my replies to HipMax

Appreciation? In what form? From whom?
Why is anyone obligated to “appreciate” someone else just going about their life? It’s really baffling.

I’m a woman. Lots of people make issue of whether I’m married or not, believe me.

But since your keen to push the idea no-one could be single through choice I guess youre not one of them 🤣

There's your problem. Nobody has that attitude. Why do you imagine anyone cares if you're married or single or anything in-between?

Also, being single is often not a choice at all.

Wasn’t there a study that found the happiest people are single women and married men?

Validation for having making a perfectly fine life choice rather than the whole “life revolves around marriage (particularly if you’re a woman)” attitude.

This is just daft. We "celebrate marriage" when people throw weddings and invite people. It's an event. Just like if you decide to have a birthday party. It's not like we go round constantly congratulating people on their married status forever more, or tell them they're doing so much better than all those single people.

Validation for what? Congratulations for... continuing to exist and not doing something that's quite common?

I think there's some serious misunderstanding about what celebrating marriage is all about here.

No her literal point was celebrating being single and you don’t do that with a party. Just a bit of validation will do.

Being single is just being single. You’ve not done anything to be single apart from just be single. You’ve not made a commitment, lived another year, promised yourself to god, been just born

Lol like you have to do anything to be born, live another year, make a commitment or be christened.

Her literal point was about celebrating a marriage....you do that with a party (wedding).

And why should we appreciate or applaud anyone's decisions?

Way to prove the point...they're not victims. And if from my post you got "men can't help themselves" fuck knows where, because nothing of the sort was said or implied.

Your notion that all single mothers are victims of terrible men but also shining heroes is as nauseating as it is patronising.

Why do people keep banging on about throwing parties? The OP never said she wanted a party just some appreciation for the decision to choose to remain single.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is the best victim blaming I've seen for a while. Like the men don't have any choice but to be dicks, but the women who try to help them or support them were just dumb. No wonder people wonder what happened to empathy.

And let's not pretend it's all their fault either, and seek to stigmatise one side of the equation and ignore the other.

The poster I was replying to was saying being a single parent should be more stigmatised, to reduce/prevent it happening.
It already is and always has been, and it hasn't made any difference, because it's not just the women that end up as single parents who are causing the 'issue', but men who are legally and socially free, and even encouraged, to do exactly what you've described, repeatedly, with the women involved blamed for their own behaviour and then that of the man too. And then people are confused as to why it keeps happening. It's because we're only holding one side of the equation responsible.

It's not all on the men. The amount of women who wilfully procreate with the worst, bottom of the barrel specimens. The women who have babies with men they know already have kids they don't see, with one or more women. The women who pick losers and act all confused that they're not dad of the year.
A lot of single mothers were always and obviously going to be single mothers. Let's not pretend it's never their fault.

Well no.

As an incel I'd be desiring a partner but unable to get one, and resent that. I don't particularly desire a partner or am against having one, or resent the fact I'm single. I don't particularly think it needs celebrating with a party, but not having a partner doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, it's quite remarkable that people think that way, I'd still be the same person with the same values, job and personality if I had a partner as I am now. Being single doesn't lessen my value.

That still doesn't mean that women are responsible for mens decisions to walk away from the children they co created without taking any responsibility. Your point was that single parents cost the taxpayer a fortune - and mine is that it's generally because fathers walk away without paying and that's socially sanctioned - a point you've pretty much proven by waffling on about incels and improving myself to get or hang on to something that you have deemed I must have, but that I'm perfectly ok without.

I took responsibility for my decision, my child is at university, supported by me, as she has been for the majority of her life. The other half of the equation walked away from that co-decision, not just from me, but the child he wanted and willingly helped create. That decision is not my responsibility, it's his.

Eh?
We should celebrate people who keep their children out of the care system?

What sort of twisted logic is that?

This honestly sounds like incel logic. If someone is unable to get/retain a partner then the problem most likely lies with them, not with the rest of society.

If you arent able to find a good partner to help you birth/raise your children then you need to work on improving yourself. And yes, of course everyone is responsible for choosing the partner that they decide to make a big commitment to.

This exact same post was put up last year. Were you not happy with the answers?

It costs the tax payer because the fathers (generally) walk off and don't contribute. You can stigmatise the mothers looking after their children until Doomsday - not going to make an iota of difference to the ones doing the walking away from their responsibilities because they're not the ones being stigmatised. If a man decides to walk away without supporting his child then no amount of blaming the woman involved is going to change him doing that. And you can, and probably will say that women should choose better - but, why are we blaming women for men's behaviour? Women are not responsible for a mans choices and decisions by default. Men shouldn't be sanctioned to behave in a way that means women have to be prepared to take all the responsibility for what is a shared act or decision.

Single mothers (because I genuinely don't think single fathers face the same) have and are stigmatised - has it made any difference at all? Has it stopped men having children with women and then walking away from the responsibility of that? Has it stopped or reduced the incidence of single mothers?

It's socially acceptable for men to do that, because it's easier to blame the women, but the men are just as aware of the possibility of pregnancy from sex, and the implications of deciding to have children with someone.

Well usually they showed up for their child when the other party opted out for starters. They didn't walk away. They have less time and more responsibility than the other baby maker who left them high and dry in a lot of cases.

They raised children that would otherwise be on the care system. I'm sure you are aware of the costs of social services and placing children in foster care etc.

What an unnecessarily, nasty statement.

For the families:
Acceptance
Affirmation
Representation
Confidence
Social inclusion

For members of the general public who misguidedly pity single parent families:
Education
Awareness
Understanding

Attitudinal change leads to behavioural change and that can affect everything from government policy and employment opportunities to what the other school mums think of you.

Indeed. A single parent family is very often a healed family!