Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

At school maybe?

Not really, not everyone is looking after kids

I find it interesting how everyone is keen to minimise the time-sink nature of it. I've read 'quick social media scroll' and 'watch a few minutes of a video', 'have a quick break', when the average adult spends 4.5 hours per day on their phone

you are going to see this every where now you have a bee in your bonnet about it

that mum who was ignoring her child may be on her way back from a mummy and me music class or back from a couple of ours at a friends house

you saw one snapshot of an ignored kid and think phones need banishing

where is your kid while you post this ?

Hmmmm if OP gets her wish then AIBU is done for.

Oh look, another parent bashing thread where the OP casts her opinion and then disappears! Because we haven't had one of those in a few hours 😏

Personally, I can't get worked up about it. When I was a kid, parents ignored us whilst chatting to each other, or reading a book. I was often sent to play with other kids or by myself so DM could get 'a minutes peace'!
I, like most parents trying their best, attempt to stay off my phone and engage with DS as much as possible. However - phones are used for everything these days, and to say parents should be able to magically parent without looking at one is batshit 😂 I prefer to not judge parents doing their best, or parents taking a break, or parents indulging in a - good forbid - quick social media scroll. The only people I do judge are the ones making goady threads and pitting parents against each other.

I'm a single mum and my daughter used to go to nursery Monday - Wednesday so I had Thursday - Sunday alone with her (through choice because I love her company). I don't have family nearby so would often do 6-7 weeks without any adult help of any kind. I used to take her to the cafe near me where she'd colour and eat her food and look around and generally be contented and I'd scroll my phone for half an hour. I called it my lunch break and it kept me sane (just).

I was always sure there'd be a couple of people in there judging and wished they could see the remaining 23.5 hours of the day. But alas. They can simply makes Mumsnet threads instead.

It would be entirely unreasonable to not use it at all, but I get where you are coming from about parents being so preoccupied with endlessly staring at a screen that they're not engaging with their child.

I know, more schools should do it

You missed debating with strangers on mumsnet as part of your list

Drop off and pick up is such a small part of the day too it’s really no problem to not have phones out and encourages parents to engage and chat to others and their dc

I agree OP. I have a rule that I don’t use my phone in front of my children and as well as the benefits for them, it has helped me to keep control of my screen addiction. Obviously occasionally it is necessary to check Google maps or something and they see me do it, but it stops me doing mindless scrolling in front of them. I save that for when they’re in bed

Its a great idea

No child sits for a whole meal doing stickers without parental engagement. A child can stare at an ipad without parental engagement though.

It’s a recent thing. They’ve said no phones and have suggested that parents don’t use them on the walk to and from either and talk to their dc instead. I don’t have a problem with it personally it isn’t a deal breaker as they are an amazing school

Exactly

As PP have already mentioned - all you see when you're out is a snapshot. I engage with my children constantly. I've never given them devices in restaurants or cafes (I don't judge those who do, though) but you might see me looking at my phone when we're out on a walk because I might be booking tickets, transferring money etc

You wouldn't know that, however. You'd see a woman with a pushchair using her phone, and you'd make these judgements. It's not very fair. And I am so aware of how judgemental people can be about this particular point whenever I need to whip my phone out.

I've got 2U2, so lots of parenting to do yet. It's tempting to just put a screen in front of the toddler when we're out and he's playing up and the littler once us crying, but I choose not to. As above though, I don't judge those who do. It's more likely they've spent the entire rest of the day interacting and playing with their children, and just want to drink their coffee in peace for ten minutes!

Being a good parent is about SO MUCH more than whether you let your child watch 20 minutes of Bluey while you drink your coffee. I do not consider myself a superior parent just because I don't use screens when out and about.

Isn't it far more important to consider what the child experiences during the other 11hrs40mins of awake time that day? As long as the child is being read to, spoken to, kissed, hugged, loved, sung to, taught new things etc then I don't really see a huge problem.

Point being, you don't know what the parent is doing with their child the majority of the time. Parenting is hard enough without being made to feel judged all the time.

@ComtesseDeSpair That survey was about active engagement i.e. playing with children. I don't think phones and tablets have an impact on that. What they have an impact on is all the asides during the day e.g. toddler sees a doggie and mum and toddler have a quick chat about the doggie. That is what is being lost.

I wouldn't send my children to such a school.

this is a good point as well.

So parents who are chatting to another adult whiel child is getting onw ith stickers... that's okay?

Feels like a bit of double standard. Where's the engaging? I mean, don't get me wrong, if I was out with my toddlers and I could get them doing some colouring whiel I had a coffee, WIN! and I had a fairly decent success rate with this. But I am not going to judge a parent who has to hand the phone over to get those 10 minutes of peace.

Our school do not allow parents to have phones out on site

Exactly, so boring!
I used to walk behind a parent to school for years. She was taking her small child to school I was going to work. I honestly never every saw her interact with her child ever. She was constantly on the phone and he was shuffling along behind her. It may be she did her incredibly important work during those 10 minutes walk to the tube or whatever but it was so weird. Poor child

Hmmmm I do use my phone around my children but I'm not sitting on MN, Instagram or FB if I am on my phone.

Mostly I'm multitasking, sorting out the food shop, banking, checking their school journals for anything needed done at home that evening (all on apps), checking updates on if their activity is still going ahead that week and other life administration etc.
Everything is online which means I'm sorting it on a phone when I am not working!

I don't sit on my phone when playing with them (will say let me finish the food shop or check your journal), during meals, bathtime etc etc

Sometimes, I can sit and have a coffee or a meal while my child played with toys, looked at stickers, interacted with us etc. I did a flight recently with no screens at all.

But… sometimes if they’re cranky, won’t sit still, mean I’m going to have to leave before eating my meal… I really don’t think it’s so awful to briefly watch something on a phone.

People are ridiculously OTT about this on mumsnet, and almost universally it comes down to ‘well we didn’t have that’.

They were not sitting in phones or tablets. They were playing with other kids.
And whatever you tell yourself, kids being left in the car while their parents were in the pub were seen as crap parents at the time. My boss reported a family in the eighties who did this every night to social services. Social Services agreed it was crap parenting but it was not neglect.