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Original poster

Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

229 replies

SmudgeButt · 10/02/2025 13:10

OK I know some will think this is ridiculous. And just for context I'm not saying that parents shouldn't have mobiles but simply not use them when they are out and about with their children.

There's been lots on the news about how schools want to restrict students using mobiles during school hours. But these are kids that have been raised with practically ever adult around them with a mobile glued to their hand.

I've seen parents out pushing buggies with an excited child pointing at flowers or doggies or whatever and the parent is just walking along like a zombie, ignoring the child and simply staring at or talking on their mobile. I've even seen children with buggies or at restaurants that have a tablet, real or plastic, for them to look at and play with rather than engaging with anything else in the world.

Yes I know some children for whatever reason need to have a distraction in order to be in whatever public space. And I know that we all want to have a mobile in case of emergencies or if there's a real need to contact someone.

I guess my issue here is that the other day I was in a restaurant with DH having a breakfast out together and he said, "oh look that woman is talking to her child!" The entire time she and her friend were having their coffee etc they both talked to the child, involved her in the conversation, let her sit quietly for a bit, played with her. Simply engaged with the child as adults would normally but without any IT distractions.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:29

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:28

And how are you accessing MN? Via a potato?

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No everyone is looking after children

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:28

ginasevern · 10/02/2025 16:20

I agree OP and I'm sure that most reasonable people do too. Nobody needs to be glued to their phone. People take their phones into the toilet with them for fuck sake and I don't suppose even world leaders do that, unless they're expecting the four minute warning. It's soul destroying to see people ignoring their children whilst gasbagging to their "bestie" about hair extensions. Or sitting in restaurants scrolling like drug addled zombies through pages of meaningless crap. It's sad and pathetic really but it ain't going away.

And how are you accessing MN? Via a potato?

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/02/2025 16:28

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:26

But the children are going home with that parent to presumably be with them all night. Why does a parent need to be off their phone on the playground - which is at most a couple of minutes

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I'd love to know how they police it. My guess is that they don't.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:26

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:19

The children i presume, which is why the school would have implemented the rule, but i guess you'd have to ask the school

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But the children are going home with that parent to presumably be with them all night. Why does a parent need to be off their phone on the playground - which is at most a couple of minutes

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:25

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:18

Murder is illegal

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So is driving with a phone, but you compared it to using a phone in the playground.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:24

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:14

Yes! I am an addict. Like most of us. That's why I have a dumb phone, app blockers, FocusMate, and I read everything I can get my hands on about smartphone affection.
Today I've had a bad day at work trying to do a creative project (I'm self employed) so I've used MN to procrastinate. At no point have I ever claimed on this thread that I do not have this same problem.
But what I think is good is that I am aware of it and not defensive about it. I've put things in place in my life so that it doesn't ruin everything. For example, right now I'm just about to go and collect my kids, with my dumb phone.

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But you are berating other people for being addicted and making snide comments.

You must be very addicted indeed if you have a second phone to mitigate the addiction to your first phone.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:22

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:09

Of course I have.
What I'm commenting on is the PP's framing of giving a phone to a child in a push chair as just something you do because of life, as something inevitable, a situation that can't be avoided.

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Are you talking about me?? Because I didn’t say anything like that. At all. Maybe you need a break from your screen if you’re getting confused?

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/02/2025 16:22

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:19

The children i presume, which is why the school would have implemented the rule, but i guess you'd have to ask the school

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The children who are waiting to be picked up? It makes no sense at all.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:21

Sunat45degrees · 10/02/2025 16:06

DS plays basketball. When he was younger, sometmies I'd stay and watch for various logistical reasons. I got into the habit of taking my kindle because they often do mini games, very intense, for 5 minutes or so at a time. So basically, half the kids are sitting out catching their breath while the others are on the court. I got very good at casually looking up to check if he was on or off at any given moment!

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I ended up quitting that swimming because they seemed to have unlimited amount of children in groups meaning they had less pool time if more kids turned up. But when my DC were on the poolside I’d take the opportunity to do my grocery order. I knew when they’d have their turn as it was like a poolside queueing system albeit an insanely slow one.

ginasevern · 10/02/2025 16:20

I agree OP and I'm sure that most reasonable people do too. Nobody needs to be glued to their phone. People take their phones into the toilet with them for fuck sake and I don't suppose even world leaders do that, unless they're expecting the four minute warning. It's soul destroying to see people ignoring their children whilst gasbagging to their "bestie" about hair extensions. Or sitting in restaurants scrolling like drug addled zombies through pages of meaningless crap. It's sad and pathetic really but it ain't going away.

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:19

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:16

Who is it impacting if parents use their phones in a playground?

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The children i presume, which is why the school would have implemented the rule, but i guess you'd have to ask the school

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:19

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:04

Maybe then this is a sign that they should have been taken home a bit earlier before they would get grizzly and overtired?
giving screens is like putting a plaster on a problem that could have been prevented further up the line

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Oh I’m so sorry Miss, I’ll turn back time by 5 years and behave with utmost perfection 🙄 well sometimes I didn’t take them home earlier and they were tired. Big whoop. Cry harder.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/02/2025 16:19

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:16

Who is it impacting if parents use their phones in a playground?

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Exactly. I'd be telling school that I'm not one of their pupils so they don't get to apply rules to me.

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 16:18

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 15:57

🤣🤣🤣 dear me I don’t think lack of phone use has helped your intelligence

Some people think murder is fine. Doesn’t make their ridiculousness relevant.

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Murder is illegal

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:16

VoodooRajin · 10/02/2025 15:54

Surely any rule that impacts one group of users will initially be seen as annoying and controlling, like no smoking etc

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Who is it impacting if parents use their phones in a playground?

BlanketLanyard · 10/02/2025 16:15

AmyW9 · 10/02/2025 15:48

I guess the challenge is that you can't do many of those traditional 'break' things with a small child involved. God help me if I try and sit down with a cuppa - it's just not happening!

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This is valid too I think - you can easily grab a few minutes to have a break with a phone. Not so easy to have a break to do something more wholesome that isn't easy to start and stop as it requires set up and/or concentration. Looking after young kids is really relentless. I'm not advocating parents being on phones 24/7 but saying "never" or "only for essentials" is a bit much imho.

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:14

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:10

You’ve made 22 posts on MN today

Show quote history

Yes! I am an addict. Like most of us. That's why I have a dumb phone, app blockers, FocusMate, and I read everything I can get my hands on about smartphone affection.
Today I've had a bad day at work trying to do a creative project (I'm self employed) so I've used MN to procrastinate. At no point have I ever claimed on this thread that I do not have this same problem.
But what I think is good is that I am aware of it and not defensive about it. I've put things in place in my life so that it doesn't ruin everything. For example, right now I'm just about to go and collect my kids, with my dumb phone.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:14

OpenFox · 10/02/2025 15:49

So you don't watch stuff with your kids and share the experience?
We all sit together on a Saturday night and watch the Masked Singer. Watching something together and commenting on a shared program is far from irony.

And I am no helicopter parent! I just enjoy having a laugh with my kids! They're only young for such a short period of time.

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It depends, my son can’t watch a full length episode of a TV show, he gets bored too quick, sometimes my DD does (and we watched IACGMOOH together) but we’d sooner be playing Uno, board games, Battleships etc or go for walks depending on the time of day

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:12

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 15:42

What I would really like to know is if having a "break" on your smartphone is really the same as "having a few minutes to yourself" that we frame it as.
I totally identify with the PPs who say that's why they use it, but I'm wondering if it really is the equivalent of having a cup of tea / having a cigarette in the garden / having a shower / having a quick nap (just thinking of pre-mobile phone versions of "having a few minutes to yourself".
But that I mean does having a smartphone "break" truly calm you down and give you a rest? Or does it, on the contrary, make you feel more anxious, more riled up, in need of more and more?
Are we taking "breaks", or are we finding places to zone out, to dissociate, to escape?

Depends what you’re doing I guess. I’ll take the odd time to watch Instagram videos that make me smile, I don’t think I’d get this level of entertainment anywhere else in 3 minutes

BlanketLanyard · 10/02/2025 16:11

Sunat45degrees · 10/02/2025 15:52

I know, I know, I said I was oging back to work...

But this is interesting. I sometimes read on my phone rather than my kindle because I feel like I'll be judged less? I think I feel like if I'm reading people know I am consciously choosing to do that, vs if I'm on my phone maybe they'll think I'm doing something important and/or that I can be easily interrupted vs a book making me seem rude and unavailable?

I have to take DS to his sports matches a good 30 minutes before they start. They do a lengthy warm up etc. If I can, I usually stay in my car and just read for that half an hour, but sometimes that's not an option for whatever reason. So when I go in, I'll maybe read on my phone instead of my kindle becuase I feel like if I'm reading a book people wil think I'm being rude while on my phone other parents could still come talk to me? Obiviously, once the match starts, I'm watching that (felt I needed to clarify that based on this thread!)

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This is a good point. I think using a phone is a more interruptable activity than, for example, reading a book. Though I guess that makes no odds to kids!

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:10

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 15:37

Exactly. Reading this thread, it's breathtaking to observe the chemistry of addiction playing out.
We are all addicted to the dopamine, so posters have a vested interested in doing and saying anything that will not obstruct their dopamine use.

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You’ve made 22 posts on MN today

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:09

Sunat45degrees · 10/02/2025 16:08

YOu're a bundle of laughs?! You never ever had an over tired child? You never sat in the car desperately trying to keep a child awake beause otherwise nap time was ruined? You never got delayed so you had a fractious, hungry toddler?

Obviously you are the best parent in the world. And the rest of us are just slovenly.

Show quote history

Of course I have.
What I'm commenting on is the PP's framing of giving a phone to a child in a push chair as just something you do because of life, as something inevitable, a situation that can't be avoided.

BlanketLanyard · 10/02/2025 16:08

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 15:42

What I would really like to know is if having a "break" on your smartphone is really the same as "having a few minutes to yourself" that we frame it as.
I totally identify with the PPs who say that's why they use it, but I'm wondering if it really is the equivalent of having a cup of tea / having a cigarette in the garden / having a shower / having a quick nap (just thinking of pre-mobile phone versions of "having a few minutes to yourself".
But that I mean does having a smartphone "break" truly calm you down and give you a rest? Or does it, on the contrary, make you feel more anxious, more riled up, in need of more and more?
Are we taking "breaks", or are we finding places to zone out, to dissociate, to escape?

I was away to say the same thing. Are parents (and I agree with a PP that this really means mums) allowed to do anything else when with our kids, or do we always have to be 100% engaged with them?

Is it OK if we are reading a book, or cooking, or doing a chore or having a shower? If so how is that different to being on a phone, as long as you are interruptable and available to your kids when they need you to be?

I absolutely take the point that being on a phone may not actually be a relaxing/recharging activity though. But sometimes we need an escape.

Sunat45degrees · 10/02/2025 16:08

comoatoupeira · 10/02/2025 16:04

Maybe then this is a sign that they should have been taken home a bit earlier before they would get grizzly and overtired?
giving screens is like putting a plaster on a problem that could have been prevented further up the line

Show quote history

YOu're a bundle of laughs?! You never ever had an over tired child? You never sat in the car desperately trying to keep a child awake beause otherwise nap time was ruined? You never got delayed so you had a fractious, hungry toddler?

Obviously you are the best parent in the world. And the rest of us are just slovenly.

Sunat45degrees · 10/02/2025 16:06

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 16:03

I once sent my kids to the LA pool and it was a 45 minute lesson - about 30 minutes of them was sitting on the poolside waiting their turn!

Show quote history

DS plays basketball. When he was younger, sometmies I'd stay and watch for various logistical reasons. I got into the habit of taking my kindle because they often do mini games, very intense, for 5 minutes or so at a time. So basically, half the kids are sitting out catching their breath while the others are on the court. I got very good at casually looking up to check if he was on or off at any given moment!