Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

What is this thing with people saying text instead of texted - I don’t get it. How can text be a verb in the past tense? I text my mum is surely present tense? Or do people not know about verb tenses any more?

SURELY it is I texted my mum?

I think the issue is just how much our lives are now managed through our phones. I don't mean doom scrolling, I mean adult, life, parent admin. If you've been playing with your children f2f with your phone away, when you get out might be the only chance to get through some of those jobs in a timely manner. Or else the anxiety kicks up. In case you forget later. Then that means something else will happen.

I don't think it's as straightforward as "parents shouldn't be on their phones around children". Who is to say what's essential and what's not. It varies from person to person.

Personally, I try really hard not to "play" on my phone around my children (2 & 5) but I will do jobs on my phone and tell them what I'm doing. That is teaching them for the future, quite frankly.

Don't be so judgy. Not everyone has the time or resilience to keep their children away from screens in cafes/restaurants or to put off all the life admin until the children are asleep and you're dealing with everything else. And quite simply, some may need to escape into their phones whilst the children are in the buggies, to protect their sanity. Not ideal, not what they'd choose, but might be the case.

I think I clicked on yabu by accident - sorry! Totally agree. Hate seeing kids with ipads in restaurants. Just talk to your child! Bring colouring in pads or blank paper and talk to them about what they’re drawing. Phones are the scourge of modern times. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes you need to use your phone. But moderate the use of it.

No chance, you're dealing with low IQ and tech addiction, it's part of the disease.

OP I wholeheartedly agree. And I say this as someone who is FAR too online. I'm waiting for an anti-tech commune to be established so I can sign myself and the family up.

Stupid
do as I say not as I do comes to mind...

It's not unusual that I'll have to take a work call or email when with my young child.

If I couldn't, they'd be in full time day care.

I'm sure I get judged at the baby groups / in the park as I type on my phone but I know it's worth being able to stay at home with my child and financially provide for them.

I also know I'm a very "present" parent at all other times.

Nowadays, our phones are used for lots of vital things, it's not like every mum is just staring at Instagram and Pinterest FGS

YABVU.

She's probably spent the entire day in London with him. And he was happily doing other things for 15 minutes. It's completely fine.

Reminds of that post which goes something like

Teacher: what do you want to be when you grow up?
Child: a phone
Teacher: why a phone
Child: because it's the first thing my dad looks at in the morning, the last thing he looks at at night, when it beeps he looks at it straight away but when I 'beep' he says in a minute, I wish I was as important to my Dad as his phone

I am as guilty as many of looking at my phone, my DH and I have acknowledged this is an issue, so now when our girls are home we put our phones on loud in case we get a call, but leave them in a different room, to try to combat the urge to reach for it automatically. We were getting trapped in doom scrolling and it wasn't helpful for any of us.

Our daughters school has asked for phone to be kept in pockets/bags during drop off and pick up 'greet your child with a smile not a screen'. And the difference is huge, parents are communicating with their children and each other.

Sometimes a parent just needs 5 mins of chilling on their phone.

I agree to some extend. Ok it's fine to use for buying tix car park apps etc.

However I was in London yesterday and mum was on phone and her toddler was very well behaved but excited about his trip and she was playing a mindless game for at least 15 mins. Tbf she did play eye spy with him for the last five mins and she seemed to be a good mum but I do wonder what all those 15 mins here and there are doing to children long term development. That's not attacking her. Just a general question about social change . Maybe she needed the break but her boy was very sweet and wasn't creating a scene at all.

A child on a screen isn't automatically a zombie either.

Other options may not work as well or at all for some families depending on the options you are thinking about.

Or they may not use screens 99% of the time at restaurants but this is one of the few times they've made an exception or they are on holiday and have relaxed the rules.

There are other options between noisy child and quiet screen zombie child, it's not either or

Well, I just got a call from 14 year old DS ringing to check I'm home as he's currently 30m from the house and he is DESPERATE to tell me about his match. He started telling me then said, "I can see the house, I'll come and tell you now".

So clearly whatever screen time I'm doing isn't impacting him negatively! Just me becuase I've spent too much time on MN today and now I need to be present for DS who I can hear coming through the door. He's stopping to tell DH though from what I can hear! I might have 5 minutes

I know this thread wasn't about people like me but I just wanted to point this out becuase I do think that a lot of parents who get grief for being on their phones are actually very present. I've got a friend who is often on her phone. I know for a fact that most of that time is spent researching things to do with her extremely high needs children, one of whom has ASD and who she spends lots and lots of time with one-to-one. She homeschooled her for 2 years as well!

But if you have a few minutes spare on a Sunday why spend all that time posting when you could be with your kids instead? Especially if you’re working for six hours on a non-school day. This is soul destroying for me!

As I'm self employed I work whenever I have a commission and according to the timescale involved. So the day of the week doesn't really apply.

Christ, not this again. Expressing one's disapproval of "screens" via an internet forum and expecting agreement from other like-minded individuals. Brilliant how you all manage to do that with a pencil and a bit of paper, actually.
Screen haters are everywhere it seems. Mostly using a screen to moan about screens. Hypocritical much?

The modern world involves smartphones whether you want it to or not. Often there is no other choice anymore.

Side note...why is it always phones and tablets. Very few screen scream queens mention laptops or tvs much at all.

I resisted the lure of the smartphone till I had no choice in the matter myself but now if my internet connection drops I feel like someone has cut my arms off and poked me eyes out.

I didn't ask for the world to change but it did. It's progress and I'd better go with it or lose access to a large part of the world.

You could, if you object to modernity so much, dig your long frock out and march yourself back to the 1850s and take your snapshot judgement with you.

You must work a lot then as you were posting yesterday, a Sunday, between 12 and 6. Were your children not around or do you work on weekends?

No, on a desktop computer. I'm a self employed publisher so it's the tool of my trade. I dip into Mumsnet a couple of times a week for about an hour each time. I also watch TV sometimes or listen to the radio! I don't however wander around Sainsbury's with it sending messages that can clearly wait until I get home or sit transfixed to it when I'm in the company of friends and family.

Can I read a book in the play park instead? Cos play parks are bloody boring. Happily mine are out of that age now. Hours of my life spent watching them go up and down the same slide 😴.

My dd is autistic and uses hers to regulate and with headphones in restaurants so that she can even be there. She doesn’t want to chat, she finds lots of social interaction exhausting and intensely difficult. We still have lovely moments of time together without phones. But they may not always been seen by others.

But @ginasevern presumably has her children SOME of the time yet she’s posts at all different hours. I hope her soul is being destroyed by her own actions. She’ll never be a world leader!

If you don't give a child a tablet in a restaurant they might make a noise and then there will be a thread saying noisy children shouldn't be out to eat, so parents can't win 🤷🏻‍♀️

Me too. 😂

It just seems like one of those snarky controlling things some Head teachers like to do. I’d be on mine even more just to prove a point 😂

Totally agree.