Calling a child greedy

I have no issue with using the correct words but I don’t think wanting seconds would class as greedy.

I think it depends what the child was doing, not if they’re fat or slim. Were they filling their hands with biscuits so no one else could have any? That’s greedy.

Of course they can and they should.
But you deal with this through a consistent plan, not calling a child greedy. Connecting personality traits with interaction with food is a significant risk factor for future issues. We all know this but get lazy and label children. We need to do better.

I would say something if there was one portion left and somebody hasn’t had any food yet but I’d try and accommodate with more veggies or an apple as dessert or something to see how hungry they were.

The portions I serve are very arbitrary and I don’t calorie count kids meals so I don’t see a second helping as greedy. I’m also not a stickler for clearing a plate for the same reason- I served an arbitrary amount and hoped that it would satisfy their hunger.

There is a rule that should never be broken when it comes to children and food. Never ever connect how they are interacting with their food and judgement on their looks, personality or character, even as a joke or off the cuff remark. So if they are taking too much and not leaving for others you don't call them greedy, you say we need to leave enough to ensure everyone gets a fair share. Adults are so bad at being aware of how their words impact on children. Children don't know most adults talk a load of crap and are really impacted by comments like being called greedy.

I would never call anyone greedy for wanting more food, especially not a child, regardless of their weight. If someone asks for more food, I will gladly give it to them—I don’t want anyone to go hungry. If I don’t have enough, then that’s on me for not preparing/ordering adequately, which would be embarrassing.
I’m not sure of the full context—was this at a restaurant, a party, or a friend’s house? Was the child actually called greedy to their face? The only truly greedy behavior I see here is from the person failing to provide enough food, and even worse, the one ( not sure if the same person) shaming the child for wanting more.

InALonelyWorld
I'm sorry you had that experience at your GPs table.
It is ignorant and uncouth.
Totally disrespectful and unloving.
If I were you I would not grace them with your presence.
They don't deserve it.
And to be making rude comments about you to your children is even worse.
Shake the dust off your feet.
They are revealing thir own inadequacy.
Don't let it affect you.
All the very best.

But the parent can control the portion size! Bear in mind 27% of children are classed as overweight or obese with 15% being classed as obese. There are so many health conditions linked to obesity including some cancers.

But children (of all sizes, and adults) can be greedy and it’s not necessarily rude. Eg. If a child is demanding more food when they’ve not finished their first plate, or wanting a particularly large portion of dessert etc. Its simply describing their action at that time, rather than describing them as such.

I think it's unkind. I would either offer more veg if have extra or redirect to have a glass of milk, yogurt or fruit

It's rude to anyone. It's mean and shames the child. There are better and kinder ways to teach children about portion size and being healthy.

I think it’s quite damaging to label a child greedy even if they are being so. I also think it’s a dangerous attitude to have that all children are naturally slim and if they have any extra weight then they are unhealthy, that also sends an unhealthy message around food and dieting. However it is absolutely within the parents control to encourage healthy attitudes to food and eating and discuss food in a way that explains the nutrition and benefits of a balanced diet instead particularly as when children go through growth spurts they will often be more hungry and may be seen as greedy. As a side note, my DS may be seen as overweight as he is mostly slim but has a belly on him- he can be greedy but we ensure he eats plenty of fruit and veg (which he enjoys) and that treats are in moderation. He’s still genuinely still hungry I don’t deny him but give him healthy options to choose from.

It’s something my mum says to her grandkids ( not mine ). I think most people would know not to say such things to a child.

If they are visibly chubby though, then they are overweight. You should still be able to see a child's ribs at 10 years old

That takes no account of body type or growth spurts. It’s very common for a child to fill out, then have a growth spurt. It’s very unlikely you’d ever see an endomorph’s ribs at any age.

Calling a child greedy is judgemental.

It turns a behaviour into a negative character trait. Which is wrong - tell the child frequently enough (which may be just once) and they will believe that they're greedy even when they are actually hungry/inadequately nourished.

This.

I have several nieces and nephews, one ALWAYS goes for the biggest plate or bowl of anything that is served, even if we know they don't like it and they'll only eat a mouthful. That's greed.

We tell kids off for being to loud, or being unkind, or not picking their mess up. Why SHOULDN'T we tell them off for being greedy?

I would NEVER call a child greedy or anything similar to their face or within earshot. I grew up with family members calling me fat and greedy, it really impacted my relationship with food and my own self image. To the point where I would be physically sick if I ever had to eat infront of anyone. I still can't eat at a grandparents house without comments like "do you ever stop eating", "look at mummy stuffing her face again, it's not wonder her clothes don't it". It still makes me uncomfortable but it doesn't have the same impact on me now. I could never be the reason another person ever had to experience that.

I once knew someone used to call his nephew greedy. It was clear he wasn't actually being fed a lot at home so would sometimes fill up when he got the opportunity but still, instead of making an extra bowl of cereal for the nephew alongside his one, he bullied him for even asking.

You realise you’re talking about a child?? What do you think has caused a child to behave greedily? Could be a whole host of causes rather than a personality flaw. And even if it’s a plain old personality flaw, why not approach it compassionately and ease them away from that trait, just like you hopefully would with rudeness, violence, show-offiness etc?

Totally! Self fulfilling prophecy. I was identified as the chubby one as a child (guess what, looking back I was totally fine) and ta da, lifelong food&identity issues. It may not make sense to adult minds but it’s a tale as old as time.

I think it's rude to call a child (or adult) greedy for simply eating more dinner. I'd call them hungry. I wouldn't even call a kid wanting more chips or ice cream greedy. It's normal and it's our job as adults to direct them to more acceptable foods is they've had enough treat food.

The only acceptable use I can immediately think of for 'greedy' is if someone eats all of a shared food before others have had a chance to have some.

Yes, gluttony isn't a positive trait. It is important to recognise when you're being greedy imo. I remember as a child my parents telling me I was being greedy, because I wanted two packets of crisps in a row (I was). If they had have just left me to eat what I wanted, and sugar coated it, I'd now be a fat adult who deemed lots of snacks as normal. My dcs know what is greedy and what isn't. We joke about it, and it is never said offensively, but it is important to know when you're over indulging so that you're not doing it every day. Dh, and I will call ourselves greedy if we are being that.

Seconds for dinner sounds more like hunger/larger appetite (could be from over eating previously in some people potentially), and not greed.

It’s unacceptable to call a child greedy over seconds for dinner.

Make sure their meals are healthy and not processed, cook the right amount for everyone to have one portion. If there are leftovers freeze them for another day. There should be no such thing as seconds or thirds, just your meal.

Calling a child greedy is setting them up to have issues around food if it's something that happens frequently.

If they are visibly chubby though, then they are overweight. You should still be able to see a child's ribs at 10 years old.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12226744

Meh, some kids can be greedy. As can adults - I know I can be!

I actually don't see "greedy" as a bad word unless it's followed by "don't be greedy, no wonder you're getting fat" or similar.