Calling a child greedy

chill out

not everyone wants to raise a generation of snowflakes. Most children are a lot more intelligent that some people give them credit for, they understand perfectly well a normal discussion and wont' be traumatised by a simple casual comment.

Yes the word greedy is rude. Even if a child is visibly overweight there is no need to insult them and make it some kind of moral issue.
The conversation should be about health never about appearance or morality. It's not a moral failing to have a large appetite or naturally err towards being larger. It's just something you need to keep a bit of an eye on for health reasons. There's is no need to EVER call anyone greedy in regards to food. Very u helpful and demotivating.

My middle daughter is slightly overweight. She's the middle of 3. Her siblings have never struggled with weight despite them all being offered the same food and having the same mum and dad. Greediness has nothing to do with it. My middle daughter is always thinking about food, always hungry... it's not some type of misbehaviour.. I don't agree in using language that shames her. I do talk to her about getting enough exercise and making healthy choices regarding food.

I'm interested if those saying you cannot call greedy behaviour greedy when it is regarding food, would apply that to toys/material things too? For example if a child is whining he/she wants toys, exhibiting spoiled greedy behaviour, how would you articulate that to the child?

Tell a child that they are something, and they believe you. It's rude and unhelpful and they'll just grow up thinking 'oh I eat all this because I'm a greedy person'.

It's an awful word and I think it says a lot more about the person that uses it than anything about the person they call greedy.

Greedy is never a nice word to use, & especially to a child !
I don’t care what the circumstances are, & Shame on the adult who used it !!!!

I think sometimes it's ok to call a child greedy. Neither of mine are overweight but my youngest definitely has a tendency to want to overeat sweet things. Once I bought a box a 6 mini egg bars for some work men that were at our house. From what was left, about 4 bars, each boy had one, then when I turned my back, the youngest scoffed the other 2! I told him off and called him greedy because he knew they were to share....

Greedy is a word that describes a behaviour, so I think in that way it's not wrong to use it, if it fits. But I would never ever want to body shame a child. I find sometimes kids want more dinner or less, I try to never say no to them asking for savoury/healthy food. If they're asking for loads and loads of biscuits and wasting proper meals then that's not ok.

Exactly. Context is key. A child who was demanding seconds whilst still having a plate full as they wanted to ensure no siblings could have seconds would likely be appropriately described as ‘greedy’.
If a child had finished their dinner and politely requested seconds and the remark was made in a negative way (rather than a ‘oh you porky chops well done I’ll get it you some now :-)’ way) then yes, it would be rude & very mean.

Depends how the child asked. A polite calm "if there's some left over, please could i have a little more?" having waited for everyone to be served and eaten - not bad, if child is under 10

Over 10 - need to learn to wait for it to be offered.

Asking rudely/demanding, wanting more than their share: greedy.

Agree with a pp, "a bit chubby" beyond toddlee years = overweight.

Since most weight issues in children are caused by the failure of adults, calling children "greedy" is pointless, damaging and inappropriate. Weight issues in children should be dealt with quietly and sensitively. With younger kids (say u-11s) who can't access food on their own and largely don't control how much exercise they do, I don't see why weight issues would have to be discussed with the child at all - surely the parents should just quietly make some changes.

@dangermouseseyepatch

Posters having a grasp on portion control and wanting their children to be healthy is not the negative you seem to think it is.

A child that takes more than their share of something or a child over-indulging in something like cake or sweets etc. beyond what is a healthy amount is being greedy. I wouldn't have a problem with calling them that. That's how they will learn it is both socially unacceptable and unhealthy for them.

Ok but that’s not to say that everyone who has been told ‘don't be greedy’ ends up with issues around eating. It’s not the same as saying ‘you are a greedy horrible child’. Kids who have good self esteem can hear ‘don’t be greedy’ the same way as they hear ‘don’t be naughty ’ or ‘don’t jump on the sofa’

Would you apply this to all derogatory or negative adjectives though eg unkind, dishonest, lazy, entitled, etc. There are times where a negative adjective is needed for both children and adults imo.

If my child is going to grab everything on a buffet before waiting turns, I'll say not to be greedy and let other get their share. I'll also reference myself being greedy when I'm over indulgencing. It isn't ever said offensively, and we will laugh. If myy parents hasn't shown me what greed looked like than I'd be over weight and unregulated now. Greedy children turn into greedy adults. I agree not to embarrass/insult, but a child should know what greed looks like, and which behaviours demonstrate it.

If it's a second helping of vegetables, it's not greedy, it's hunger. Just rude and unpleasant to call that "greedy".

If it's pudding, then yes it's greedy but it depends on the tone and context. I am sure I've called my kids greedy, no one felt shame 😂

I’m sure I was called greedy as a child. It was widely used but I’ve grown up to be a normal healthy weight with no eating issues. I’m sure that’s true of many people. Perhaps the comment is very memorable to you because of your traumatic loss and your eating disorder? I am sorry about your ED, I don’t wish to be in any way cruel about it - just offering an alternative viewpoint.

If I wanted to embarass or shame someone that is the word I would use . So I might think it but would be hard pushed to say it to or in front of a child . Especially if they were a bit overweight. I use the word about myself as I have a desire to overeat sweet things and would eat more than is acceptable. Possibly leaving less for others which is the epitome of greedy .

Even 'you are being greedy' is better than 'you are greedy' or 'don't you think that is a bit greedy'
If it's all the time then a talk away from the table is required about how to act.
But labeling children and negative comments and actions about food can have significant consequences. We all know this.

I castigate my slim DD if she’s being greedy (eg stuffing her face with an excess of unhealthy food). We talk about why it matters, so it’s not just a question of me saying “don’t be so greedy” and leaving it at that.

But it is greedy and I will name it as such.

She won’t remain slim and, much more importantly, healthy if I allow her to be greedy.

"a bit chubby" is a euphemism for "fat".

Surely, you should concentrate on reducing the fat & there would be no need to be called greedy.

Is it rude. No. It's vicious and designed to harm a child's psychological wellbeing, both now and well into their future adulthood. Children do not know how to cope with personal criticism born from adult nastiness and it often messes them up for life. Some people are fucking evil, over THINNESS. Worse still when they dress it up as concern for health.
That's a load of cobblers. That concern for the health of others doesn't stretch to concern for mental health or they'd keep their fat prejudiced traps firmly shut.

I don’t know why you asked this on here with it's overabundance of fatphobic food fascist control freaks.

They aren't satisfied unless a child is gaunt and emaciated.

Then again, this place is full of control freaks over plenty of other things so I don't know why I am surprised at the more unpleasant comments. I wonder if these people are as unpleasant offline as they are on. Probably not. It's easier to be a bully when you're anonymous.

And greed to me would be taking more than someone else, wanting more treats etc (technically I think you mean gluttonous actually if referring to food, you can be greedy by hogging toys, it's not all about food)
But most importantly if a child has an unhealthy diet that should be tackled in different ways, and none of them should include name calling, shaming or humiliation.

Greedy is a word designed to shame.

It’s a horrible thing to say to a child.

Very rude.
Being overweight doesn't prevent you being hungry.
Skinny people can be as greedy as overweight ones, they just don't get judged for irm