I wasn't invited to my coworker's house warming party

@user1471867483 or he waited as he knew he was leaving out OP … we’ll never know for sure but seems pre-meditated!

So which is it, then? A socially-clumsy man who forgets to give someone an invitation when he’d planned to, is confronted on his return to the office by an obviously mutinous colleague saying ‘I didn’t get an invitation. I was the only one not invited’ as he’s offering round chocolates, and makes a a flimsy excuse about her not liking the food to save face? And now she’s so obviously pissed off and showing it, he doesn’t want to approach her with Indian sweets that remind them both of the missed party altercation?

Or a cold-hearted Machiavellian delighting in singling out a ‘good soul’ colleague with whom he appears to have had a previously benign relationship to torment by dangling a non-forthcoming party invitation in front of her, and who is now continuing his campaign of exclusion by ostentatiously not offering her sweets?

I can tell you which sounds more likely to me.

Thats not how bulling works - it doesn't stay in primary school unfortunately.

Bullying can take all types of situations, this is very blatant as the bully knows they have left out one person and they have done it deliberately.

Of course people are free to socialise outside of work - this is not a simple case of doing so its deliberately leaving one person out of that situation.

And you haven’t considered just that.. you weren’t there when he handed out invites. He then didn’t consider the party/the invites again, quite unaware you hadn’t got yours? He then didn’t want to say “sorry I overlooked you” so made an excuse with the food.

I would go so far as to suggest maybe he thinks you were interested in him. Regardless of how “gross” you say you find him, what if he didn’t invite you because he didn’t want to give you the impression? Or encourage what he assumes is already a crush? You did bring him a paper every day.

saying “ah, you’re a good soul” sounds like a man trying to say something nice without complimenting you exactly. Keeping his distance.

Has he said anything about you not giving him the newspaper?

He seems to lack the social awareness not to be blatant about it, as do you.

and you don’t think that might have had something to do with it..? Or this information might have been useful, what, a week ago when myself and numerous other people were asking if physical invites were involved (or if it were invite by text etc…) and you point blank ignored every post requesting these important details?

Surely that’s when you say ‘But I love Indian food!’? If you do in fact love Indian food despite your cholesterol.

I,ve sussed it. He was going to invite you and he's overheard a comment you've made about Indian food. That's why he added "you wouldn't like the food anyway". You've either said something derogatory about Indian food , or culture or something even if innocently that he's taken offence to

@user1471867483 I know he added the bit about you probably not liking the food, but that was more of a comment. You could have said ‘that’s for me to decide’. To be honest, as you said he picks his nose and smells you had a lucky escape. Try to put it out of your mind.

It’s really not. Not a work event. Everyone is free to socialise or not socialise with their colleagues in their own homes out of work time.

Some people on here are still living in the days of the early years of primary school ‘whole class/or all girls/ boys’ party ‘rules’.

At this point you say. Hey where's mine you invited me last week...

That was your opportunity then - when he said “I know” did you not say “why?”

Although this wasn't at work, to invite all your colleagues and leave one person out - its bullying

You are not being oversensitive

what happened is not appropriate as they have ostracising you.

He didn’t invite her to his housewarming that she wasn’t planning to go to, and he didn’t offer her an Indian sweet. I think that’s hardly some kind of HR-worthy campaign of ‘exclusion’.

He also brought in chocolates the day he returned to work which he apparently left in a central position for anyone who wanted them. He’s not to know the OP is so desperately resenting the lack of invitation to a distant housewarming she was never planning to attend, and regretting her daily donation of a Metro and her phone help.

I don't know if someone has already suggested this as I've only dipped in and out of the thread, OP, but I get the feeling that he may be keen on you and as he knows you are not interested, is deliberately "negging" you in a very childish way?

Did he..? Or maybe he hasn’t offered her one of his sweets today because, as she already said, she’s not being nice to him any longer.

There’s definitely two sides to this and OP is positively fixated on this party issue. She could approach this man and gently ask if he has a problem with her, but she is instead settling for assumptions about being too blonde and intimidating.