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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to ‘mum’ today

35 replies

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 09:17

I have emetaphobia. Always have-always will.
my toddler has been sick a bit this morning and I’ve obviously freaked out. My toddler hates using a bucket so it’s a fight to control any sick!
im in fight or flight mode(I’ve fled to my mums house!) and I just want to hide. I hate this so much. I hate that I’m not a good mummy when this happens

OP posts:
DonnyDoris · 10/02/2025 09:35

I have emetophobia - I had hypnotherapy for it a few years ago and it's far more manageable now - I would definitely recommend trying it especially with young children who are going to be unpredictable!!

RabbitsRock · 10/02/2025 09:35

I empathise OP. I used to be obsessed with sick bugs, googling the numbers of people ill with them, thinking about the germs all the time & frankly terrified that I would become infected. When a character on tv threw up, I had to cover my ears or even leave the room. I had such anxiety around it. Since having DD, who is now 16, it’s got quite a bit better although I can still go into a tailspin hearing about an outbreak of noro locally for instance. DH is very hands on but sometimes when he wasn’t around I just had to get on with it. Luckily, she wasn’t sick very often. The worst was fairly recently when she’d been sick several times all over her room - I surprised myself by getting on with it & clearing up. I think because it’s your child feeling rotten, it helps you to put your own feelings aside. Your DS will possibly get used to using a bucket as he gets older plus he will understand about trying to get to the loo. Hope he feels better soon. It might not even be a bug.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/02/2025 09:34

Where’s your child? When you choose to be a parent you are responsible for putting your child’s needs first. You don’t fuck off when your toddler is ill, that’s pathetic.

muggart · 10/02/2025 09:23

Well you know YABU for opting out of parenthood when your child is sick but if your DH is ok with picking up the slack then it's alright really. Maybe make sure he gets a break later to even it out.

why do you have emetephobia?

ToBeOrNotToBee · 10/02/2025 09:22

Go back and be there for your sick child.

It's incredibly hypocritical that you've fled to your mums whilst your toddler is the one actually poorly.

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 09:21

Parent up op

your toddler feels rough
and his mum has scarpered

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 09:21

Always have-always will.

what have you done to at least try?

Notgivenuphope · 10/02/2025 09:21

This phobia is debilitating. Have you tried every source of therapy going?

Sadly you don’t get to check out of parenting and being there for your child when he is unwell is a key part of the job. Surely you knew that motherhood would involve illness when you decided to have a child.

Pottedpalm · 10/02/2025 09:20

Babies/toddlers vomit. Did you plan how you would cope before having a baby?

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 09:20

Who the heck is looking after your son?

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