To not want to ‘mum’ today

Emetamom · 2025-02-10T09:17:12+00:00

I have emetaphobia. Always have-always will. my toddler has been sick a bit this morning and I’ve obviously freaked out. My toddler hates using a bucket so it’s a fight to control any sick! im in fight or flight mode(I’ve fled to my mums house!) and I just want to hide. I hate this so much. I hate that I’m not a good mummy when this happens

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 19:20

Pyjamatimenow · 10/02/2025 17:08

you need exposure therapy. I had emetaphobia until I had kids. One of them had cyclical vomiting syndrome-so vomit was a regular feature. Tbh my desire to look after my child was greater than my fear. No way would I leave them even if dh was there. Your son needs you. It’s selfish to bugger off to your mums

See, if I knew it wasn’t contagious, I could deal with that. My dad had cancer, and he was sick a few times and I dealt with that, because I knew I couldn’t catch anything. I’m so glad I was able to do that for him.
as it stands, little man has had 2lots of grandma’s homemade chips and a few milky bar buttons. He’s playing away, seemingly back to his usual cheeky self.

OP posts:

Pyjamatimenow · 10/02/2025 17:08

you need exposure therapy. I had emetaphobia until I had kids. One of them had cyclical vomiting syndrome-so vomit was a regular feature. Tbh my desire to look after my child was greater than my fear. No way would I leave them even if dh was there. Your son needs you. It’s selfish to bugger off to your mums

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 17:02

Thanks. Some people.
We’ve both had a nap on the sofa. He’s still asleep. He had some toast and a few grapes earlier. Hope it’s an uneventful night for us

OP posts:

Ilovecakey · 10/02/2025 14:12

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 14:01

He’s been sat on my knee all day, on the breast! So no, my mum isn’t looking after him.
🙄🙄

Show quote history

Just ignore the nasty people on here. I hope whatever phobia they have happens to them soon, eg waking up with a massive spider or rat next to their head or having to go up a height. I also have this phobia and it's horrible so I empathise with you. You're lucky you have your mum to help. I let their dad deal with it when they are sick. Although I did clean some up the other day as he wasn't here but luckily it was only a bit and was a one off from coughing not a bug thankfully

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 14:01

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 12:43

And you’re eye rolling me! Sitting at your mum’s while she cares for your sick toddler 😆

Show quote history

He’s been sat on my knee all day, on the breast! So no, my mum isn’t looking after him.
🙄🙄

OP posts:

TwilightAb · 10/02/2025 12:58

Plus mine didn't want to use the emergency sick bowel either!

TwilightAb · 10/02/2025 12:55

I feel you OP. My 3 year old was sick a few times Friday night with no warning. As someone who also is emetophobic I always feel like just running away! Of course I didn't, I acted normal, cleared it up and have spent the best part of the weekend trying to get the smell of sick out of the carpet and fearing who is going to come down with it next. It is rough and I totally understand where you are coming from. Before kids I would run off if someone was sick. Not an option when they are your own and feel it has helped me to deal with it better.

Jk987 · 10/02/2025 12:51

Hypnotherapy or another type of therapy is needed. Who said you can never get over this?

MinnieBalloon · 10/02/2025 12:45

I remember the first time my eldest was sick. I was so distraught for her that I reached out for her as she vomited and covered us both in sick as we hugged.

It was a beautifully ugly moment 😅 But actually the love I felt for her in that moment was everything.

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 12:43

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 12:39

Well obviously not 🙄 I meant is it a bug or just a weird one off!

Show quote history

And you’re eye rolling me! Sitting at your mum’s while she cares for your sick toddler 😆

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 12:40

whatisforteamum · 10/02/2025 11:32

I feel for you OP.
It is an irrational fear so anyone reading it sounds selfish and we don't mean to be.
I had loads of therapy and now my DC moved away as adults I would say mine is linked to feeling depressed.
When I'm happy vomiting can be put into perspective when I'm stressed I struggle so much.

This resonates with me, actually.

OP posts:

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 12:39

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 11:41

You honestly think that a toddler might have been faking it?

Show quote history

Well obviously not 🙄 I meant is it a bug or just a weird one off!

OP posts:

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 11:41

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 11:05

It’s so weird. He retched a couple times this morning, about half a mouthful of liquid came out. He’s retched a few times since(that was about 8am) and now he’s playing, asking for food! Never sure how to play these things?!

Edited

You honestly think that a toddler might have been faking it?

whatisforteamum · 10/02/2025 11:32

I feel for you OP.
It is an irrational fear so anyone reading it sounds selfish and we don't mean to be.
I had loads of therapy and now my DC moved away as adults I would say mine is linked to feeling depressed.
When I'm happy vomiting can be put into perspective when I'm stressed I struggle so much.

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 11:05

It’s so weird. He retched a couple times this morning, about half a mouthful of liquid came out. He’s retched a few times since(that was about 8am) and now he’s playing, asking for food! Never sure how to play these things?!

OP posts:

TherealmrsT · 10/02/2025 10:23

I got some vomit bags from Amazon, they have something in them that solidifys waste, you tie the bag up and dispose. I haven't had to use yet, but might be worth a look. (Sold for travel sickness)

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 10:16

I put several bin bags, one inside of the other, into the bin, with a piece of kitchen roll in each bag. That way I can just take out one bag, and it’s ready to go straight away. No rinsing or touching anything gross

OP posts:

Teenybub · 10/02/2025 10:10

I’m the same, I use doggy pads that are for them to toilet on, don’t have to worry about aim and they can be folded over and binned immediately without having to “clean” as that is the part I struggle with the most.

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 10:06

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 10/02/2025 09:47

I'm another who found the 'immersion therapy' of having kids actually helped my emetophobia. It came back again big time when the kids grew up, but when they were younger it was a matter of HAVING to do it. I have to admit that I'd sometimes give them a towel or newspaper to be sick on and then just throw that away or burn it so I didn't have to see or deal with the sick... But you might find that the more your toddler throws up, the more blase you become about it.

I was also a single mum to five, and the occasion when all five came down with noro simultaneously, and we basically just had one big bowl in the middle that they took turns to vomit into (I'd run out of containers!) is seared into my memory for life.

Oh my Christ. That sounds horrific. I have 3 DC but thankfully they’ve only ever had it one after the other.
believe it or not, I’m much better than I used to be. I’d lock myself in a room and shake and cry. I can actually hold the bowl now.
I’m still BF him so I’m hoping that helps with whatever is going on

OP posts:

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 10/02/2025 09:47

I'm another who found the 'immersion therapy' of having kids actually helped my emetophobia. It came back again big time when the kids grew up, but when they were younger it was a matter of HAVING to do it. I have to admit that I'd sometimes give them a towel or newspaper to be sick on and then just throw that away or burn it so I didn't have to see or deal with the sick... But you might find that the more your toddler throws up, the more blase you become about it.

I was also a single mum to five, and the occasion when all five came down with noro simultaneously, and we basically just had one big bowl in the middle that they took turns to vomit into (I'd run out of containers!) is seared into my memory for life.

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 09:45

I think he associates the bucket with being unwell. Last time he had a tummy bug, he was great letting me put the bin under him. This time he’s having none of it and is running away while retching

OP posts:

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 09:43

I’ve tried every therapy going. They’ve done pretty much nothing except shrink my bank balance!

OP posts:

PaintDecisions · 10/02/2025 09:43

Change the bucket for a large bowl or jug. Change your sons experience of it and try to avoid passing on your own anxiety to him about it vomiting - even if you don't think you are, it seems that it's happening.

Original poster

Emetamom · 10/02/2025 09:41

Sorry, I wasn’t clear. Me and DC have both come to my mums. Im sitting with him now. I’m a single parent so no DP to pick up any sort of slack

OP posts:

LindorDoubleChoc · 10/02/2025 09:41

Bestthriller · 10/02/2025 09:20

Who the heck is looking after your son?

Do you think OP has left her sick toddler home alone? Please behave!

I have emetophobia. When my children had vomiting bugs DH looked after them if at all possible.