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AIBU?

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Would this be lilegel by chance

121 replies

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:43

So basically my 14 year old DDs boyfriend’s parents are kicking her boyfriend out of there house tomorrowAnd I do want to help him not be homeless. would this be lillegel if he lived at my house with my kids and me for a bit until I can get the government to get him somewhere to live. But I don’t want to break the law throughout it.

OP posts:
TwigletsAndRadishes · 10/02/2025 21:18

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:45

14 same as her age he is getting kicked out because his younger brother wants his own room and they live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I feel sorry for dds boyfriend.

I have no idea what's going on here, but NO-ONE kicks their 14 year old son out of the family home just so that a younger child doesn't have to share a bedroom.

user2848502016 · 10/02/2025 09:33

I would strongly recommend you don't let him live with you long term. It's really not fair on your DD, she needs space from her BF and be able to split up with him if she wants to.
You could let him stay for a night or two if he's literally homeless but you need to get social services involved to find him somewhere permanent

Justalittlehandhold · 10/02/2025 07:37

Gogogo12345 · 10/02/2025 01:40

It happens you know. It was quite normal for my peers to be kicked out of the house just after their 16 th birthday. My best friend was one of them as she wanted to go to college and mother insisted full time work and contribute or leave.

I think many on here cone from much more privileged backgrounds

And as for the parents " getting in trouble" for kicking a kid out. Exactly how? What do you imagine would happen to them?

Edited

That’s 16 when formal education had finished and employment was available (not right still).

Not 14 when neither is available.

Its a case for SS obviously.

Garlicworth · 10/02/2025 02:06

My dad 'kicked me out' at 15. He just didn't like me, made it very obvious throughout my childhood. My best friend's mum had me to stay for several weeks - she was a very positive influence. I obviously don't know what conversations the adults had behind the scenes, just that it was 'time for me to go back' after a while so I did.

Dad continued to make me unwelcome. I went somewhat off the rails due to his frequent instruction not to come home, then he chucked me out for good as soon as I finished my A-levels. It's rather nice that so many PPs can't imagine parents just being plain nasty to one of their children, but it's not as uncommon as all that.

OP, it will mean something for this boy that you're a safe haven. The fact that he's your daughter's boyfriend complicates an already complicated matter, and it's probably not a brilliant idea to have him living with you for the next 4 years. You could let him come to stay for maybe a week or so? Talk to his parents, school and SS to figure out what's what.

JandamiHash · 10/02/2025 01:46

OP with the greatest of respect, nobody (yourself included) sounds mature enough in this situation to be taking on the mammoth task of housing a child who is, at best, troubled, and at the worst, trouble.

Say no. If you’re bothered call social services and get them to intervene. You will regret very quickly taking him in

Gogogo12345 · 10/02/2025 01:44

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:41

You could be charged with child neglect if you haven't provided for your child to be safe and looked after. And 14 is a child.

Wonder how many people it's actually happened to though? The system seem to struggle to charge people who starve and injure toddlers never mind a stroppy teenager getting the boot

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:41

Gogogo12345 · 10/02/2025 01:40

It happens you know. It was quite normal for my peers to be kicked out of the house just after their 16 th birthday. My best friend was one of them as she wanted to go to college and mother insisted full time work and contribute or leave.

I think many on here cone from much more privileged backgrounds

And as for the parents " getting in trouble" for kicking a kid out. Exactly how? What do you imagine would happen to them?

Edited

You could be charged with child neglect if you haven't provided for your child to be safe and looked after. And 14 is a child.

Gogogo12345 · 10/02/2025 01:40

PinkyFlamingo · 10/02/2025 01:21

So his parents are really telling him to leave without caring what happens to him?

It happens you know. It was quite normal for my peers to be kicked out of the house just after their 16 th birthday. My best friend was one of them as she wanted to go to college and mother insisted full time work and contribute or leave.

I think many on here cone from much more privileged backgrounds

And as for the parents " getting in trouble" for kicking a kid out. Exactly how? What do you imagine would happen to them?

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:34

I find it highly improbable that this guy has been kicked out and for the reasons stated. There has to be more to this. The best thing is to contact his school and child protection services. They'll sort it out.

PinkyFlamingo · 10/02/2025 01:21

So his parents are really telling him to leave without caring what happens to him?

OwlInTheOak · 10/02/2025 00:33

Absolutely not. He needs stability and neither him or your DD should feel trapped in a relationship based on living together at this age.
Imagine the pressure it would add on either of them if they then decided they wanted to split up

tachetastic · 10/02/2025 00:27

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:49

his parents don’t care for him most days most of the time I feed him

You need to call social services and make sure that everyone including his parents know where he is.

I would also make clear to your daughter that their relationship is effectively on hold while he is under your roof.

But don't leave the kid to sleep on the street or to be left exposed to others that are less well-intentioned. It sounds like he needs a break. Just be very careful to keep an eye out for any behaviour that might explain why his family cannot cope with him (crime, violence, drugs etc) and kick him out straight away if you see that happen at home.

Velmy · 10/02/2025 00:16

OP, nobody kicks a 14 year old child out of the house just because their sibling wants a room to themselves. If, and it's a big if, the child is genuinely being kicked out, there is clearly a lot more going on here. You should think long and hard, and get professional advice, before getting in the middle of it.

For starters, the boys parents would be breaking the law.

Pump the brakes though...Have you actually spoken to the parents yet? It sounds like the boy doesn't have a great home life - This could simply be a case of bad parenting in that they've told him they're chucking him out as a threat (without meaning it) and he's taken it literally.

Also you say they're not great parents and you often feed/look after the kid...could it be that the boy and your daughter have told his parents that you've offered to take him in?

Bless you for wanting to look after the child. Having him stay with you wouldn't be illegal, but you must involve social services. But you also need to consider the effect this could have on your child(ren).

Moving in with a partner full time is a big, intense situation for most adults. For kids, especially at their age and with whatever the boy has going on...there's potential for it to do lasting damage.

SheridansPortSalut · 10/02/2025 00:03

I'm assuming that you are the dd and your mum has said no and said that it's illegal.

If I was your mum, I would say no too. Your welfare is her main responsibility.

Your boyfriend isn't being honest with you. If he really is being kicked out then social services need to be involved. His aunts/uncles/grandparents would be more appropriate people for him to stay with.

L0bstersLass · 09/02/2025 23:59

Contact the parents, I bet this is total bullshit.

Willwetalk · 09/02/2025 23:55

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 09/02/2025 20:23

Have you contacted his parents to find out what’s going on?

It doesn't sound like it. Madness.

Booboobagins · 09/02/2025 23:51

@ByArtfulBird this child is being abused by hid parents. I feel so sorry for him. Thankfully he has you x

I think he'll end up in the foster/home system if SS step in and tgat will not be good for him after being trwated the way he is by his own parents. He must feel abandoned already :( .

If he did move in with you, could you foster him so you receive money for him? Are there safeguards you can put in place so your DD and him are not left alone in the house if you're worried about them having sex? (Honestly though I know they're too young but if they want to they'll find a way. Imo, it's best they do it in a safe place than putting themselves in danger.)

If it was me, I'd offer him my spare room. Tell SS you'll take him but only if you are his foster parent - you'll need to join and go through the process but once that's done, you will at least have £ to cover his needs and you could bank some of the money into a savings account for him.

Bless you for looking after this child.

BlazenWeights · 09/02/2025 23:21

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:45

14 same as her age he is getting kicked out because his younger brother wants his own room and they live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I feel sorry for dds boyfriend.

Are you really a full grown adult believing this reason? A 14 years old is still a child. No parent is kicking their 14 year old child to make room for a younger kid. The fact you believe this is worrying.

AiryFairyLights · 09/02/2025 23:07

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:45

14 same as her age he is getting kicked out because his younger brother wants his own room and they live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I feel sorry for dds boyfriend.

So you have been told. I suspect there's more to the story op and you need to speak with his parents to find out exactly what that is before allowing him into your home and any longer with your daughter!!!

TheQuirkyMaker · 09/02/2025 23:03

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/02/2025 20:18

Way too much pressure on your daughter to continue a relationship at a very young age, no way.

I agree. She will have her life stolen from her before she has a chance to live it.

HellofromJohnCraven · 09/02/2025 23:01

I'd be really sceptical about taking this boys word for it.

INeedAnotherName · 09/02/2025 23:00

Contact his school and social services. Do NOT take him in. You have to put your daughter first because she will feel pressured to keep dating him even if he's mean to her or tries to convince her to have sex (and no, you won't know that), she will have no escape from him.

Hekett · 09/02/2025 22:57

Absolute load of bollocks.

speak to the school and SS,

Arran2024 · 09/02/2025 22:55

There are plenty of dysfunctional families out there - I have come across cases where step dad demands older kid leaves to make more room for his own kids for example.

But the parents can't just kick him out. They would havevto go through social services.

Thing is, they may be really struggling with him and his take that they are "kicking him out" to give the sibling the room might be completely inaccurate. 14 year olds can be manipulative too. He might have clocked you as a soft touch.

I would say stay clear. Social services need to be involved if he is going anywhere.

Uberella · 09/02/2025 22:54

Contact social services asap and ring his schools safeguarding lead;their reception staff will be able to pass your phone number to the safe guarding lead to contact you urgently.

From the sounds of it they might even have a social worker assigned to the family as they sound dysfunctional and neglectful.

Some parents really are that shite and shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.

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