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Original poster

Are relationships worth it??

131 replies

UserNameNotAvailable9 · 09/02/2025 16:12

I’ve been married, single, in relationships with separate living and semi casual relationships. And my life always seems simpler and easier when single. I read threads on here and many of the problems seem to come from relationships too.

Some of the areas I find too complicated in relationships.

  1. up front and centre…finances. I find it much easier to manage finances single. No worrying about someone else running up debt, not contributing, or contributing but feeling resentful
  2. losing freedom. Always compromising to accommodate someone else’s wishes.
  3. emotional weight. Putting your own needs to the side to support someone else’s

Are relationships worth the level of compromise that is required??

OP posts:
Madamecholetsbonnet · 09/02/2025 16:41

I do know people who maintain that they are unable to operate as a singleton, and are happy in any relationship. Most of these people are men though, and I think they are just wanting a support human.

I am old and have had two marriages, seven and 14 years. I am far far happier single.

SantaToSSD · 09/02/2025 16:39

Well, speaking as someone in a happy, long lasting relationship, I would say yes.

We have always shared finances equally.

I don't see it as losing my freedom. In fact, being in a partnership gives me confidence to do more and go places I wouldn't alone.

I feel very supported by my husband. It is easy to give of myself to his emotional needs because I already receive the same from him. I would go further and say having his needs to think of makes me less selfish.

But I am coming from a good relationship. I could see that if you had only had poor relationships or had been treated badly by partners you might feel relationships weren't worth it.

DustyLee123 · 09/02/2025 16:38

I’m married, and if I could click my fingers and be separated with him moving out I would. I know I’d never cohabitate again.

Ratisshortforratthew · 09/02/2025 16:37

I agree with you and I’m in a relationship! It works because we have no kids, separate finances (not married and I don’t want to be) and there isn’t really any compromise involved. We’re very aligned in our worldview and we really do slot together seamlessly but I haven’t changed my approach to life from when I was single. For example I still solo travel for extended periods, we do a lot of social stuff separately, but we also get on really well and enjoy each other’s company. I wouldn’t want a relationship that required any more of me than just existing as I see fit

sunshine244 · 09/02/2025 16:34

I've been far far happier in my last few years being single than I was in in nearly 15 years married or previous relationships.

Interestingly the biggest pressure I feel from people to start dating is from people who are themselves very unhappy in their marriages. Almost like they can't stand having someone single to compare to.

However I do have kids and I'm not sure how I'll feel when my house is inevitably empty.

CdcRuben · 09/02/2025 16:31

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