Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

Marriage is a unique contact - it gives you certain rights/ entitlements/ status with regard to the state / government (eg tax breaks etc) . it’s not just like any old private contract that two people consent to. So no your suggestion wouldn’t / shouldn’t be equivalent.

Also OP there were a number of red flags you chose to overlook. Men who are genuinely great do not feel the need to say that

And men who say “they are not like other guys” are exactly like other guys.

I know this sucks, and I hate that dating is harder than it needs to be because of filth like the guy you have just experienced. But you cannot legislate against that.

Just find ways of dealing with and hopefully he will get a papercut everyday for the rest of his life.

How so? She was committing adultery. If adultery was to be made a crime, she'd be guilty of it.

What about non arranged marriages where a spouse is abusive? Or has health issues like dementia? Or a million other scenarios. Some people cheat because they can. Others do it because their current situation is making them miserable but they can't leave it.

It clearly isn't a practical idea, but I can see the argument

• if I'm married to someone, I have tied myself financial to them. If I did that in a business context, I would have certain financial protections - why shouldn't I have protection from being worse off if the other half of the agreement broke that contract?

• if I am having sex with someone, I have given that consent on the basis that they are not having sex with anyone else for emotional and also health reasons. If someone cheated on me and I had known, I wouldn't have sex with with them and I would ensure that this known to the other partner in the relationship. If they cheat, then have sex with with, it would effectively be without my consent because all parties know that consent is only given on the understanding that the relationship is exclusive

With respect: you need to buck up and stop wallowing in this.

Yes, it’s hurtful. No, it shouldn’t be considered a criminal offence to upset someone.

YABU.

There are lots of countries where adultery is illegal though- like Saudi Arabia- , so you could always emigrate to one of those if you think it’s better for women.

Yes, but the question is could she really sue for damages?
Loads of people gave each other COVID. Could they really have sued each other for it if, for example, they could prove neglect like not wearing a mask, not taking a test? I think it would be very hard to do.

I think an arranged marriage , where she can't leave, is a bit different to a man shagging round for fun

I think an arranged marriage , where she can't leave, is a bit different to a man shagging round for fun

I agree with you op, it should be illegal.

It wouldn’t stop adultery, but I’m sure it’d reduce it. Imagine how many murders would be committed without fear of imprisonment?

Out of interest, do you suppose proportionately more men or women are punished under those laws in those places?

A million years ago, I managed a hotel. I had couples who'd come fairly regularly and spend an afternoon together. One of the ladies I saw once when I was doing my shopping. She was with her husband and children. The man was not the man she came to my hotel with.

Over time I got chatting to this woman and discovered that her marriage was an arranged one, in which she had no say whatsoever. Divorce wasn't an option for her and she truly loved the man she was meeting. They came for the entire time I managed the hotel, so several years. Her husband treated her badly, and she was desperately unhappy with him.

And you'd have her criminalised?

I'm sorry you've been hurt. But hurt feelings shouldn't constitute a crime. People do shitty things for all manner of reasons. It's easy to take a black and white view of it when you're the victim, but the reality is very different.

Well sexually transmitted diseases cause a lot of damages.

If a man cheats, a woman could sue for damages, as he is risking her health by potentially passing on an STI.

My friend actually got cheated on recently and her boyfriend gave her a sexually transmitted disease

Yep

Because marriage is a legal contract you enter into voluntarily, knowing the terms - ie you can only marry one person at a time. To be illegal to be in a relationship with two different partners would require a legal definition of ‘relationship’ and would negate free will. This thread is batshit.

That would create a whole new field in contract law.

What would the consequences be? Damages? How would a contract be terminated if one party wished to end it. And proving breach of contract could get interesting.

It would make lots of work for lawyers.

"A woman could easily sit a man down and get him to sign a contract saying "if you get in a relationship with me you cannot have sex with anyone else".
Then if he breaks the contract, she can sue him for damages."

If divorce is now no-fault, you cannot divorce on the grounds of adultery, how would it make sense to sue for cheating if not married. I'm not sure the contract would be valid. Otherwise you could make a washing up contract and sue someone for not doing the washing up or whatever...

Cheating being illegal is not going to happen.

But I can see people starting to make their own relationship contracts, and then suing the man for breach of contract.

People get sued for everything these days.

A woman could easily sit a man down and get him to sign a contract saying "if you get in a relationship with me you cannot have sex with anyone else".

Then if he breaks the contract, she can sue him for damages.

And what would you class as cheating.. sex? Kiss? Holding hands?

And women cheat too.

Because marriage has rights & responsibilities (next of kin (health ect.)/financial/social expectation)

While saying is just that. Dating

Yes laws around marriage & de-facto relationships should change but cheating being illegal would be ridiculous

Bizarre. In what ways would this contract diverge from a marriage contract?

Because a marriage is a contract. And a 'relationship' is not, and can mean anything.

It's a legal contract about a relationship.yes.

So people could design their own contracts for their relationships if they wanted.

People could sit down and make a contract before they get into a relationship with someone.

Because a marriage is a legal contract?