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Original poster

Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

382 replies

Miratea · 09/02/2025 13:17

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

OP posts:
RIPVPROG · 10/02/2025 20:28

I guess I can see the rationale if married, but in terms of civil action rather than criminal, it's breach of contract, no law has been broken. Personally I think infidelity should be taken into account when considering a divorce/financial settlement.

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 20:26

Bromptotoo · 10/02/2025 18:57

Pretty much what we did.

Still together 40+ years later.

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Did you have to pass an exam first and obtain a dating licence 😁

Congrats ❤️

Blades2 · 10/02/2025 20:23

Yabu.

seek a therapist for your trust issues though x

bananascentedhair · 10/02/2025 19:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

bananascentedhair · 10/02/2025 19:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

bananascentedhair · 10/02/2025 19:23

I think in reality it would never work for this to be a crime.

That said.... I have been cheated on and it is traumatising, in many ways I feel the scars of the cheating and lying are worse than physical ones.

Lalaletmeexplain (relationship instagrammer) posted a really interesting theory on her Instagram stories the other day which really made me think about how cheating on someone is sexual assault. And it really struck a chord with me, I've posted a screenshot.

Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone
Bromptotoo · 10/02/2025 18:57

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 18:52

Just to go have a pizza and a drink?

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Pretty much what we did.

Still together 40+ years later.

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 18:52

Lanzarotelady · 10/02/2025 17:57

Maybe there should be a psychiatric evaluation done before people embark in a relationship?

Just to go have a pizza and a drink?

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 18:50

NeedToChangeName · 10/02/2025 18:39

As I said earlier, I'm not claiming that this would be realistic or feasible

If as a society, we wanted something along these lines, I'd guess some kind of questionnaire or interviews and if you don't pass then you don't get a marriage licence. A bit like a driving licence

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But how do you begin a relationship in the first place if it’s made difficult to enter it? You can’t get a licence every time you want to go on a date with a new person.

It sounds more like a dystopian world not an ideal one.

NeedToChangeName · 10/02/2025 18:39

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:05

How would 1) work, seriously how would it be implemented, even in an idealistic world?

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As I said earlier, I'm not claiming that this would be realistic or feasible

If as a society, we wanted something along these lines, I'd guess some kind of questionnaire or interviews and if you don't pass then you don't get a marriage licence. A bit like a driving licence

CestLaVie123 · 10/02/2025 17:59

OP in the gentlest way, you need to build up your bullshit detector AND your resilience.

Lanzarotelady · 10/02/2025 17:57

Maybe there should be a psychiatric evaluation done before people embark in a relationship?

JohnTheRevelator · 10/02/2025 17:51

I think the police have got enough to do without having to investigate thousands of cases of alleged cheating.

Sassoon · 10/02/2025 17:49

Jesus, I actually fear for the future when I hear such Puritanical nonsense. Maybe go live in Afghanistan where you can hall women down to the town square and cut off their hand for adultery.

NiftyKoala · 10/02/2025 15:29

We can't get every pedophile off the street why on earth would police and courts waste time on this.

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:13

Fencehedge · 10/02/2025 14:06

Being cheated on is abuse. Abuse can be illegal, particularly if it constitutes coercive control. Perhaps it should be illegal!

Very simplistic outlook. Supposing you’re a kind, compassionate person trapped in an abusive marriage and you meet someone. How many people have been murdered by their abusive spouse because they found out the downtrodden spouse had met someone else?

Seriously, those who really believe it should be made illegal are living in the wrong country, but there are countries you can move to where such laws do exist. Make yourselves much happier and move to them.

Verv · 10/02/2025 14:09

There aren't enough resources to legisate against shoddy rather than criminal behaviour.

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:08

Savemefromwetdog · 10/02/2025 04:49

Another insane thread.

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Is it the same person who thinks prisons shouldn't exist and everyone has a right to rehabilitate or is that a different poster with their own strange outlook.

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 10/02/2025 14:07

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:04

Although Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb sang that being lonely and sad should be illegal, if that counts.

Yes, anyone who keeps telling you how great they are should probably be given a wide berth.

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It's the phrase 'great of a person' that would send me.

Fencehedge · 10/02/2025 14:06

Being cheated on is abuse. Abuse can be illegal, particularly if it constitutes coercive control. Perhaps it should be illegal!

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:05

NeedToChangeName · 10/02/2025 06:20

Yes I'm not suggesting women shoukd be trapped in abusive relationsps

I'm suggesting that - ideally - it would be (1) harder for people to enter into unsuitable relationships in the first place and (2) easier to leave if unhappy

I wasn't suggesting that this is realistic, or feasible. Just idealistic. If eg you had to jump through lots of tests before you're allowed to settle down with a partner, some people woukd realise they're not compatible and heartbreak avoided. As I say, not realistic or feasible

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How would 1) work, seriously how would it be implemented, even in an idealistic world?

BunnyLake · 10/02/2025 14:04

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 10/02/2025 06:54

I would have dumped them at them at them telling me me 'how great of a person they are'
Sorry you've had a shit time, but your idea of making someone breaking your heart illegal is just ridiculous and unworkable

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Although Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb sang that being lonely and sad should be illegal, if that counts.

Yes, anyone who keeps telling you how great they are should probably be given a wide berth.

MrsWinkly · 10/02/2025 11:46

OP, I think you just have to believe in karma sometimes and imagine him accidentally sitting on a box of drawing pins or slipping onto the hoover pipe, something along those lines...

BadLad · 10/02/2025 09:17

BadSil · 09/02/2025 14:15

Exactly. It would cost the state an absolute fortune to investigate whether Mrs X actually did have sex with the window cleaner. Or do we just take the word of the accuser.

What constitutes cheating? We hear on MN constantly that posters partners are "at the very least having an emotional affair". Would that be punishable? A kiss? A touch?

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According to last week’s threads, sharing a pudding counts.

ItGhoul · 10/02/2025 08:43

doodahdayy · 10/02/2025 03:04

I think this is the same person who wants WhatsApp to stop allowing locked chats.

They’re currently on that thread claiming that ‘There is no need for privacy between spouses unless the marriage is abusive’.

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