Is 45 too old to have a baby

Huh? I don’t believe I quoted any averages. Or said that “most” women are having babies in their 40s. I meant that women have kids at a range of ages now for various reasons and that’s ok. What matters is that you’re a loving and stable parent and plenty of younger and older parents can be the exact opposite of that as you can imagine.

like I also said… many women struggle with fertility issues and end up having their kids later despite planning and doing everything they could to have kids at the “acceptable” age. I don’t think it’s very nice to say they are selfish and that it’s “not okay” for them to have their kids later than planned. Women like us are struggling with enough as it is and don’t need to be told to “get a grip”.

but if you want to swear and get all worked up about my post then knock yourself out.

I’m in Ireland and the average age of first time mothers here is now 32-33. All the women in my family had children in their late 30s including my own mother . It’s not unusual at all here . I’m not cheering on the op, I was commenting on the person who said 38 is too old to have a baby, as a pregnant 38 year old woman I find it a bit ridiculous .

oh I know well

As I've said in a previous post I was a younger mum now a younger Grandparent. There isn't a stage in parenting that's not exhausting regardless of age. I met mothers twice my age at pre-school who looked amongst the youngest there. If you feel like trying for another baby OP I say go for it.

Thank you.

Excellent post! 👏 Wanting a baby at 45 to fill a hole in your life, when you already have a teenager (and you don't even actually have a man right now) THAT is more immature than anything you have said.

As is supporting anyone wanting to do this, and cheering her on! It's a terrible idea!

I guess you'll never know! Anyway, I have nothing more to add to this conversation now. Thank you for engaging though.

100% this. ^

And to say 'things are different now and people need to move with the times' (as @NatterNatter50 did) is absolutely ludicrous. The average age (in the UK - in the 2020s,) for a woman to have her first baby is 29-30, and the average age for a woman to have her last baby is 33-34... Most women are not having babies in their mid 40s. Maybe YOU need to 'move with the times' natternatter50, and get your facts straight!

It's absolutely hilarious to try and suggest that certain people are 'not moving with the times' because they don't think it's okay to have a baby at 45. Get a bloody grip. It's not okay for a myriad of reasons. I don't think I need to say what they are. You flippin' well know! And if you don't know the reasons, then LEARN them!

@Strawberriesandpears ok well it’s a very odd thing to say if meant in the earnest as is “you won me over”.

I’m 45 and my kids are 5 and 9, and I find it exhausting! We had originally planned to have 3 kids but having felt the exhaustion at 39 with a baby there was no way I could go through it again even older.

But if you’re fit & healthy and it’s one dc then it may feel very different for you.

like others say, it’s also about when you’re older and they’re at a different stage. Will you be supporting university in your retirement? Will you be able to be an active grandparent?

No, I know you didn't. It was me who said that.

@Strawberriesandpears Come on now… I said having a baby at 38 is not unusual or too old. I didn’t say I was young and “sprightly “ lol

I didn't mean it sarcastically at all. You literally said you weren't old and you won me over! You are young and sprightly. ✨

I meant your replies , calling me young and sprightly in a sarcastic tone then repeating it again but anyway.

I called you nasty because you insulted people with fertility issues by calling them selfish. So of course it’s touched a nerve..it would for many people :-S

how lovely that you managed to plan your kids but you do realise that plenty of others also plan to have kids young and it just doesn’t work for them right?

Agree that there are good and bad parents regardless of their age.

You will be 60 when they are 15 😂
You are either a very young mum or have no clue about extremely fit & healthy 60 year old women.

I fail to see what is immature about looking ahead in life and carefully considering the future challenges a child might face and then making a decision on whether bringing them into the world is kind or not. I would think that is incredibly thoughtful, mature and sensible myself.

@NatterNatter50

It's not nasty to say I think someone's decision to have a baby at age 45 is selfish. Touched a nerve there though, clearly!

I didn't have my children in my twenties, either, and they were both very much planned.

There will be good and bad parents regardless of their age at their child's birth. But to me, having a baby well past your prime child-bearing years is a selfish thing to do.

You can disagree, if you like... I'm not going to be defensive and start insulting you.

Get a puppy, OP. Cute but lots of work. Grown-up much quicker than a baby.

You sound incredibly immature I have to say.

Thanks @NatterNatter50

Thank you very much for 'allowing' me to think what I like. 😊 I would have done so anyway.

Not sure why you are laughing. All true 😊

Good for you. Honestly shocked by this thread. Things are very different these days, I think some people are very set in their ways and just need to move with the times a little. We are just making the best of our circumstances so wish people could just be a little kinder. Best of luck with everything x

Is it just unacceptable for a female over 40? What about men over 40, Sme rules? over 50? what about smokers? obese? anyone with a disability?