Is 45 too old to have a baby

I was exhausted at 35. No way would I want a baby at 45.

Yes menopause and meeting a babys needs it a hard slog not to mention being 60+ when your child is in it’s teens🙈

Sil was 46, surprise! So far so good but no way would I sign up for another however I have 2 kids already who are adults. If I didn't have children my answer might be rather different I admit

I don't think it's fair on the children. Even less so if it's to fill 'a hole' in your life. Don't put that responsibility on another human being - especially not a child.

Maybe look at adopting an older child, from here or abroad?

At this age I would consider adoption or fostering, plus her for menopause.

its more grandparent age

I don't know any 45 yr old gps!

It isn't the baby at 45 that's the problem. It's the 15 yr old at 60. Absolutely no way.

My youngest was born when I was 40. I'm now over 60 and still financially responsible for 2 young people. No problem with a young child in my 40's , but it is a problem now as I would love to retire but can't.

I'm 45 and my kids are 16 and 19, and honestly, they still need me so much. The thought of dying before they're settled and secure adults terrifies me. I don't expect them to be fully mature until mid to late 20s, just going by how I was and most people I know. If I had another baby now, I'd be pushing 70 before I felt they were secure enough to cope with losing a parent, and that's if they were healthy and well, which they might not be, being born from older eggs and sperm. My DH lost his mum in his early 20s and was quite messed up emotionally by it.

That's a bit of a ramble to say that I would not personally consider having a baby now, even without going into the impact on myself, physically and in terms of life generally. But of course, I have kids, so it's different than if I had none, I guess.

Depends on your circumstances, quite a few older parents in my area (lots of 50 yr old dads) & they seem happy.

My line in the sand is 42, so 18 before you hit 60. And through uni before you retire.

If you really want a child I'd consider the adoption route, looking at a preschooler

Generally speaking, I would say yes, 45 is too old. I wouldn't have wanted to have a DC in my mid-40s. It changes your life totally, which can be good if you want those changes, but even so, it will harder to adjust to having a DC and the ties that brings when you're already 45. Plus, there will be the rigours of pregnancy on a mid-40s body, which I found tough enough in my 30s. Are you in a serious, long-term relationship? Would this potential DC have a father and a wider family, or are you thinking of going it alone?

its not a clear cut yes or no. If you’re healthy and have good finances, and you don’t have other children then I think it’s fine. To be fair tiredness doesn’t affect the wealthy as much as they can outsource a lot of work. Age is a factor in fertility etc and birth defects, but then again I’ve lost young friends to cancer who were otherwise healthy and they’ve left young children so you just never know. If you want a child, are committed and will provide it with a loving home to the best of your ability, I would do it.

No. Your baby would probably be having to think about how to help you in old age by the time they were in their late 20s. They'd almost certainly be an only child too. It's a huge burden even if they love you. Ask me how I know.

Omg yes, its hard now for me early 40s with a 16 year old let alone being 60 and dealing with teen problems when you want to be on the wind down to retirement. For me personally, 45 is too old. But everyone is different.

I think the key thing to bear in mind is that it's extremely unlikely to happen at 45. The chance of you getting pregnant is about 1%, and if you did, more than 50% of pregnancies will end in miscarriage at 45.
You may well decide to go for it, but you need to be realistic that there's over a 99% chance it won't happen.

No, I have no energy now I am in my 50’s when I had loads of energy at 45. Sadly, people my age are now dying of cancer or heart issues and leaving their teenage children behind. My own parents were older and I lost one over 30 years ago. Shared lives or fostering whilst different would help others without the grind of many years of thff er school run.

Is there a reason you didn’t want one until now? Do you have a partner or would you do it by yourself? I’m a few years younger than you with two young ones and the second pregnancy was much harder than the first as I was 4 years older.

You'll get replies on MN that it's selfish and far too old but these are generally from people who had kids in their 20's so didn't have to make that decision.

Does that mean they are wrong? Or their opinion isn't valid?

Yes

Yes.

I'm 45 soon and yes it's definitely too old

Personally if I hadn't had any children and I was 45 I would do it. No one bats an eye when the dad is in his 40s

My concern would be the risks to the baby when being older so you would accept all tests offered

I think this must hugely depend on your social circles but I'm not friends with anyone who was a grandparent in their early 40's. I've worked with one and that's it.